Jul "More Awful Than You": Most Offensive Story Or Movie!

[Tyyppi]

I can't wait for chapter two. The "plot" is so exciting!

[rosenshyne]

Who is "Him"?

[Aggie]

Some sort of rock band, I think. It seems to have the basics: a good-looking one, an overly effeminate one and a buffed up muscle-type.

[rosenshyne]

So the story is referencing a rock band that never appears? I'm confused...

[Angie]

This one is hot off the presses: The Lessbo slaves that are Princesses
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183755&search=1&view=new&new=1&asset_type=story&order=CREATION_DATE+desc&hideFramework=&languageCode=

You know it's got to be good when it starts out like this:

Well Here is a werid story that I find funny.

Don't mind spelling

It seems as though every word in this story is misspelled.

My favorite part is where the "boss" asks for proof that the girls are really princesses, so the one girl puts her medieval gown back on, dyes her hair red, and puts on a tiara.  And he buys it!  If only it were so easy in real life...

[rohina]

Oh, Jeebus with a cherry on top. I did mind! I couldn't get past frame 3.

[Khaki]

Catren:Yes becouse we are in hiding
Jill: So we will work as slaves
Cathren: So don't be thinking that we are dume

I know if I was a princess going into hiding, my first choice would definitely be hiding as a slave.

And don't worry, I'm not thinking you are "dume", instead I am knowing you are stupid, and doomed.

[witch]

Jill:The room is ok but you comeplet the room
Cathren: So do you

!!!???

Definitely WTF territory.

[Aggie]

Jill:The room is ok but you comeplet the room
Cathren: So do you

!!!???

Definitely WTF territory.

For some reason, that exchange reminds me of Jerry MaGuire. 

[Angie]

Jill:The room is ok but you comeplet the room
Cathren: So do you

!!!???

Definitely WTF territory.

For some reason, that exchange reminds me of Jerry MaGuire. 

Yeah, I thought that part was kinda sweet.  Because otherwise, the story would just be about meaningless lesbian French maid slave woohoo.   

[Angie]

Okay, I was going to wait until someone else replied so I wouldn't have to double-post, but it's been almost a week now and I'm itching to point and laugh at some more sucky stories.  C'mon, people!  If we're going to keep this thread alive, we need MOAR replies!  There is certainly no shortage of crap to make fun of.

This one is called A Modle's Legacy [sic].  The punctuation abuse in this story is alarming.  Check out page 23, in which there are almost 6 full lines of nothing but exclamation points!

Also, this crazy emo mess called I Am The Reason.  It's got some seriously creepy pictures of babies decked out in goth makeup.  On the plus side, it's short.

Last but not least is a rambling and disjointed work of art simply titled The Rogers Family.  It starts out with some teenage girl whining about her family having to share a house with a bunch of random people.  Okay, could be an interesting premise.  Then the girl's mom announces that the other family is moving out and they now have the house to themselves, completely obliterating said premise.  (Why bother with it in the first place?)  Insert several variations of "OMG!!!!!1111!one" here.  Girl has her first kiss with her super-secret boyfriend.  The end.  What truly makes this story bad is the way the writer melds five or six sentences into one without using any punctuation or capital letters.  Case in point:

oh hi sweety i need to talk to u i now your friend angelina gibson and u r soo close and r best friends but there moving like in an hour srry sweetie but they have to because they r going on a buisness trip and going to live there for a wille but guess wat we get to keep this biig hudge house and look after it !!!!!

[Liveangel]

Okay, I was going to wait until someone else replied so I wouldn't have to double-post, but it's been almost a week now and I'm itching to point and laugh at some more sucky stories.  C'mon, people!  If we're going to keep this thread alive, we need MOAR replies!  There is certainly no shortage of crap to make fun of.

You're right. Lots of these stories are just wasting server space and plenty of these "writers" look as if they were doing this crap instead of studying grammar and punctuation for their english tests. Where are the grammar and punctuation police? The only member of the grammar and punctuation police I have seen is rohina, but she's over here at MATY so the story exchange is unpatroled.

[Invisigoth]

This is hands down the best part of the "Modle's Legacy", IMO:

Inside the note in the bouqet is an engagment ring!!!
"MITCH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *passes out*"--Molly
Now look what you did Mitch.
"I help her up."--Mitch
Ya get a grammar check dude.

The rest of the "Modle's Legacy" was as stupid as it was offensive. OMG! Modles throw stuff up! That's so funnie! LOL LOL WTF LOL!!!! But it's ok cuz there's a guy who will cook healthy fud for her so she doesn't have to throw it up on porpuse ne more lol!

"I am the Reason" was bizarre and kind of scary, but only because of the previously mentioned creepy toddlers in goth makeup. Other than that it was totally pointless.  The third story was just a pointless WTF.

[SoulOfZinglon]

Alana-" oh that totally sux i know how u fell wene i was littel like 5 or 7

The above is from the masterpiece "The Rogers Family".

What the sentence is trying to convey: Oh, that blows; I know how you feel for I felt the same way when I was going through the rough transitional phase of Kindergarten to grade school.

What the sentence really means (with judicious use of punctuation): Oh that too? [Na]talie sucks.  I know how you fell.  The weanie was like 5 or 7 [inches].

o0 The above-mentioned "story" didn't even have French maid action to offset the utter lack of intelligence.

[professorbutters]

I liked "I Am the Reason" best.  Five pictures of spooky Gothy toddlers

I am the reason she will never love me
I am the reason she is
The Living Dead.

and then the last slide:

This is I .
Well hoped u liked it !
Chapter one coming soon!!!

Talk about an abrupt tone shift.  The good news is that chapter one is coming soon.  "A Modle's Legacy," sadly, seems to be gone already.

The punctuation on some of these reminds of me of Daisy Ashford's *The Young Viseters* (sic).  "I fainted she said from joy she said to explain matters well said Bernard some people do he added kindly handing her a cushon so I will end this chapiter."  Of course, Ashford was only nine, and she didn't mean for it to be published; it was just an accident that it wound up in the hands of James Barrie.  A hundred years later, it's still a good read, even if her spelling and paragraphing leaves something to be desired, and I think it has something to do with the fact that she really was doing the best she could.

PB

[Angie]

o0 The above-mentioned "story" didn't even have French maid action to offset the utter lack of intelligence.

LOL!  Yes, the French maid action almost redeemed The Lessbo slaves that are Princesses.  Almost.

Talk about an abrupt tone shift.

Good call, PB.  She shifted from morose to peppy in one line.  Triple exclamation points?!?  Geckosims phails at emo-ness.

Boy, have I really got nothing better to do than troll the official site for horrible, horrible stories?  I am truly lame.  Or I have an addiction.  Or both.  Anyway, this is the worst one I found today: The Noah Family.  It may not have lesbian French maids, but it does have a dude in a speedo on the cover.  I thought "WTF?" so many times while reading this little masterpiece.  Especially when I read this quote:

Here is there home they love it sense they have 23,765,897,567 bollon dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheesh, that house looks like it cost 30,000 simoleons, max.  I wonder if Grandpa has been squandering the family "bollons" on hookers and blow...

[Liveangel]

Shit, shit, shit.
I typed in lesbian. I found this "The Special People Family" v. slutty and uggh. The Polite Family - What's with all the uni pics?
Ah well. "Rape", "Lesbian", "Murder" and other stuff along those lines will produce interesting results.

[behold_the_muse]

"The Special People" should be renamed "Every Romance Sim Ever Plus Crappy Dialog". I loved the warning on the front page of "The Polite Family".

*WARNING: LESBIANS*

It seems that all of these people have really bad graphics cards.

[Angie]

Did you notice that The Special People Family and The Polite Family were both written in July 2006?  How have they stuck around so long??   

I snooped around on Chocolate0705's simpage (the girl who wrote The Special People Family) and found out her name is Michelle and she goes by the nickname Mishy.  Just like the character in the story!!!  Autobiographical much?  LOL!

[SoulOfZinglon]

It seems that all of these people have really bad graphics cards.

To be fair, having a lame-o graphic card doesn't quite make these stories as bad as the ones that eschew all forms of proper grammar.  However I have a soft spot for bad graphics, because until a month ago I was playing The Sims 2 on a computer that didn't meet the minimum system requirements.  The only reason I can play it without the red shadows, the red/black flashing water, and with custom content is due to a timely brain transfer.

The Sims is a lot more fun to play when I can use lighting objects, trees, and water.

Shit, shit, shit.
I typed in lesbian. I found this "The Special People Family" v. slutty and uggh.

I noticed that "The Special People Family" actually used periods.  I am highly impressed.  I also noticed that there were lamps in the pictures.  With graphics like that, it takes ten minutes for the game to switch to night.  Maybe thats where the author found the time  to add three unneeded exclamation points after the word "FUN".

[kuronue]

The special people one, while the storyline is kinda juvenile and the pics aren't much, is written with proper spelling, decent grammer, periods, quotes, no author-character interaction... all in all, a fucking amazing story for the exchange standards. 

[professorbutters]

*WARNING: LESBIANS*

Wouldn't antiwatchout take care of this?

PB

[Liveangel]

Did you notice that The Special People Family and The Polite Family were both written in July 2006? How have they stuck around so long?? 

I did not notice that untill you pointed that out! Have a cookie. And some milk to go with it.

Well, it is entirely coincidence those are both a full year before this contest began took place. To some, namely silly people like me, coincidence = spooky. Sleep well tonight.