More Awful than You! August: Craptacular Stories.

[Assmitten]

Generally, when they are that young/stupid, I see them as kind of generic, sexless AOLbeast.

If it really reeks of maudlin melodrama, then I feel like it might be female. But the senseless plotting and giant pools of blood felt more male to me.

[kutto]

Due to the sex ratio in the sims community, I just assume female until stated otherwise.

* kutto is male for the record.

[Liveangel]

I think the amount of women and homosexuals in the Sims community is related to the design aspects of the game.</sterotyping>

I found this urinal, though I have no idea what is called Sim Winchesters.

Episode 1: Introduction, nothing to see here, move on.
Episode 2: We are introduced to their band, then "in the middle of one of our practice sets" some guy, John, calls Dean and tells him the story of Jason and Jodie Larson (lol premades) and how close they were when Jodie got sick and eventually died and with the help of a gypsy, Jason brings her back as a zombie.
Episode 2.5: Something actually happens! After a 2-pic recap and another story about why Dean doesn't like to drive, they go to the mall, have a bit of fun, and bump into Jason, and persuade him to come over for dinner the next night. We find out the whole point of this is "to decipher whether or not Jason had zombifyed his sister." They go to the Larson house and discover Zombie Jodie in a shed. Everyone has dinner. Really, why the fuck did Jason put Jodie in that shed?
Episode 3: A gem. Intimacy, with a big, obnoxious, rude, in-your-face CENSORED. Pregnancy, then a baby. "Andie named him Paddywhack, and we have no objections. At all. None."
And so on.
Zomg a video!!!!!11one!
The journey continues...

[Zazazu]

These comments crack me up:

AWW, LITTLE PADDYWHACK IS BEAUTIFUL!!

There's only one face for babies. Dumbass.

[jinanne]

http://lollipoplegacy.livejournal.com/3993.html

This story is just too awful to not submit here.

Here is one of her lovely quotes, "I used to be an english major so i know what you are talking about in my grammer usage. i will work on that for the next one."

[Kyna]

What's even funnier is that quote is a response to someone complaining that she keeps typing the word I as lowercase.  And she's still in school but "used to be an English major".  I wonder if she switched majors due to failing as an English major?

Do we really need 6 shots of the character giving that vampire dude a rose?  Seems to me this "story" was just an excuse to post that sequence of shots, because there's not much else to the story.

Rules nitpick here:  How does a Legacy sim (i.e. a sim fresh out of CAS) get a job in the Art career?  If the Legacy sim was a YACAS sim, then surely the story should start at Uni.

[Liveangel]

What's even funnier is that quote is a response to someone complaining that she keeps typing the word I as lowercase.  And she's still in school but "used to be an English major".  I wonder if she switched majors due to failing as an English major?

That reminds me of this.

Cho had written several lol plays for his English class which have been leaked onto the internet. They are entitled "Richard McBeef" and "Mr. Brownstone", respectively. Yes, that's right. Richard. Fucking. MCBEEF. In both of these plays Cho displays horrendous grammar and punctuation, which is certainly to be expected for a slant, but what is ironic is that Cho was an ENGLISH major. Keep this in mind when you read such wonderful lines as "Why am I so angry at you! Because you murdered my father so you can get into my mother's pant!--" and "I just said that his name sounds like kidney stone of the ass and that's why he is always gruffy and angry. His shit is so thick and so oddly shaped that he can't go and all his shit are piled up in his intestines all the way up to his chest. He probably rips his sphincter to relieve a single gram of turd after two hours of pushing, sweating, teeth clenching, screeming in frustration, and holding breath for a half gram of green mold shit." This masterful, artfully-constructed prose could truly only come from a senior English major. Cho's fellow students did not agree that Richard McBeef and Mr. Brownstone were the two greatest plays ever created by an autistic Korean English major and said that the plays "were really morbid and grotesque" and "like something out of a nightmare".

[Alex]

"I used to be an english major so i know what you are talking about in my grammer usage. i will work on that for the next one."

[Assmitten]

http://lollipoplegacy.livejournal.com/3993.html

This story is just too awful to not submit here.

Here is one of her lovely quotes, "I used to be an english major so i know what you are talking about in my grammer usage. i will work on that for the next one."

I love that the vampire's name is dun dun DUNNN "Vampire." FAIL.

[jinanne]

Another nice quote from her story:

Vampire shrugged and took a deep breath before answering, "Well it was not originally part of the plan that i had made for us..."

I interrupted, "The plan for us?!"

My hormones were out of control that i didn't know how to react to him.

I die a little inside.

[zombiekim]

I am so glad I looked back at her July 9th entry: "When i used to be a writer...."

I think back when i was in high school and all i cared about was writing my autobiography. [...] I read all of these Sims 2 stories and they are sooo GOOD and then i look at mine and they are shitty.

Holy crap, her autobiography.

EDIT: I nominate this shlock. For a lot of reasons, including purple prose, writing that tries so hard to be "quite emotional," and Goopy.

[Liveangel]

That was a real gem, zombiekim. Searching for love while dressed as a pedobaiting whore? Also,
ENOUGH OF THE FUCKING INCEST ALREADY! MAKE IT STOP!!!111!

[Assmitten]

Whoa, Goopy slash. Do not want.

[Lorelei]

Holy crap, her autobiography.

BWA HA HA!  A 12, writing an autobiography.

"So, like, I was born in a hospital to two white, middle-class married parents with no complications whatsoever. I moved into a house with 1.5 siblings, a dog, a cat, my parents, and a white picket fence. I liked my Big Wheel and Barbies.

I went to school and mingled with my peers. I cared a lot about what they wore and watched on TV and listened to on CDs and the games they played and did my best to fit in by doing everything exactly the same, even though I am a unique and special snowflake. I parrot my parents' political beliefs and religious beliefs and think I am a deep and original thinker.

Now I'm in high school and I have a crush on this boy who doesn't know I am alive. My specialness and unique genius will make my autobiography a best-seller worldwide, and maybe that boy will ask me to the dance. He has hidden depths and is The One, I just know it. Oh Josh Kevin Brad Tyler Dylan Cody Jennifer. Jennifer? I think I'm teh gai. Jennifer is totally awesome. She has hidden depths and is definitely The One. I wish she would ask me to the dance. I'm going to hell because I am teh gay. Maybe I am bi. No one has ever dealt with these issues before, ever.

I am a radical punk rocker rebel because I think I am bi. My best friends think they are bi, too. Today at the Johnny Rockets, the jukebox like, magically, was playing our song. "Rollin' with da homies..." *tearstains* It was a sign from my personal guardian angel that Mikie and I are meant to be. I have decided I am not really gay after all.

Math is hard. I hope Daddy buys me the car I want on my birthday. I think I am too fat. Gerald Way is totally hot. I like french fries. Parents just don't understand. I yearn for popularity but despise the popular. P.E. sucks. Johnny Depp is totally hot. My nose is too big. I can't wait until my braces came off. Nick Carter is totally hot. I am special because I read a book not on my summer reading list. I am deep and sensitive poet. My poetries, let me sho u dem. Hello Kitty is kawaii. My feet are too big. My boobs are too small. My hair, like, totally sucks. My mom got mad and said you're livin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

[zombiekim]

The "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme song is now my anti-Goopy. YES.

[literatebse]

EDIT: I nominate this shlock. For a lot of reasons, including purple prose, writing that tries so hard to be "quite emotional," and Goopy.

Heh.  Yet more evidence of the pervasive belief among 12's the world over that Photoshop and suicide can make up for shit-tastic low quality photos.

[Liveangel]

Okay, these are from the exchange, but WTF.

All of renna10player's "stories" suck.
The Tears and Smiles series and the Goddess true love story by inugomelady stink. I was amused that rape was legal but not allowing the rapist father to live with his daughters was illegal.

Edit: inugomelady's The Mainson Family sucks too.

[anankha]

I agree with everything you just said Lorelei, being 13 12. I hate those emo people on other message boards who always say they are bi, and always say they are a cutter and they are proud. They always complain about how their parents never let them do anything. At least they have 2 parents who care about them.

[zombiekim]

Inugomelady's stories are priceless.

[Goddes] eventually found someone named noah and they had a son named jesus. later they found out who lived netas really was if you turned his name around it spelled devil saten. he ran into the church to get away from the police and fell in the holy water he than melted and died the end

J "stop it dad stop it."
F "yesterday you told me you loved me."
J "i don't know why so stop dad. you did this to mom and cally."
F "why stop there? uhh um mm hmmh mhhm."

Uhh um mm hmmh mhhm indeed. I love it.

[reggikko]

The tears and smiles series and the goddess true love story by inugomelady stink.

"stop it i barley know you."

Alas, poor Amaranth, I knew him well.
Geoffrey Chaucer: The Millet's Tale
SSSSS-wheat!
Dr. Seuss: Hop(s) on Pop(s)

Another gem:
"he did just to his daughty , and libby. sucking on her breast was only part he planned to do what he did to all of them get them pregnet that do the same to the children if the were girls."

And then they get many babbys

[Liveangel]

You can have my -- barley?

Another gem:
"he did just to his daughty , and libby. sucking on her breast was only part he planned to do what he did to all of them get them pregnet that do the same to the children if the were girls."

And then they get many babbys

They need to do way to instain father...

[jinanne]

Here's another one:

http://community.livejournal.com/legacychallenge/1647424.html

The Mc Adam Legacy.

[Giggy]

You can have my -- barley?

Urgh, wat is it with people and KH! I know they love it to bits but really, too much

[Spinni]

when she had the baby i was SO M.A.D. at flian but i looked into trevors eye's and and forgot i demanded to have Cally back and the police agreed

...Why can I see some sassy black lady delivering the 'M.A.D' part? Who writes or even talks like that anyway?

[HomeschooledByTards]

So who won for August? What's the topic for September?