A Hack request if this is possible?

[KiwiPriss]

It annoys me how romantic relationships are impossible to end on good terms, like a break up where the hearts disppear and the realationhip takes only a slight dip, and is possible while relationship scores are still high, because when you have sims date in Univercity, you might not want them to marry them, but the realationship stays there unless one cheats on the other and knows about it you know. This is another annoyance because the inteenimator, (which i LOVE) has it so teen relationships dont disappear, this is okay in some situations, but i dont want to move the dude to college or even marry the guy, i want to move my sim on kinda thing, but its not possible, kinda stink but anyway after my ramble, is it possible to break up "just cos" without cheating on the sim? Thanks

[J. M. Pescado]

Well, the Love hearts stick until you drive the LTR below 50, even though it takes about 70 or 80 to get the first place.

So basically, no, by default it is all but impossible to sever a romantic relationship without blood. There's no apparent option to simply snap out of it like in real life. As for making it "possible", the only solutions I can think of would be to attach more teen-ageup-like severance points to remove the romance bits at various times, like, say, when a sim gets married, etc. Recommendations for good places to do this would be helpful.

[syberspunk]

I could be wrong... but I thought the InTeenimater permitted options to break up for no reason necessary. In other words, it should not be required to get the relationship below the regular Maxis defined level for the Break Up option to be available.

Or... are you asking for a break up to end without ruining relationships? I would think that a break up should be upsetting (assuming that sims are in crush/love/engaged/married). But.. if you wanted to maintain a friendship, you could probably still work at rebuidling that friendship. No?

As for romance bigs being unset... wouldn't those sort of naturally become unset if the relationship decays to a certain point. Can't you achieve this by never interacting with the sim in question, and allowed that relationship to decay? Just like you can lost best friends? Can't you fall out of love/crush? Or are you saying those Only get unset if sims do things to piss each other off?

I think that if the LTR falls below a certain level, then it would make sense for sims to lose their crushes and fall out of love. On the other hand, getting married to someone else doesn't necessarily mean that You fall out of love with a past love, Nor does it mean that they fall out of love with you. If the relationship has still been maintained, and as a romantic one at that, then those love bits should still be set (and leave opportunity for affairs and what not). However... if lovers suddently stick to using more platonic interactions... if there was a way to monitor this... then it would make sense for the love bits to become unset. There probably isn't an easy way to keep track of this change tho.

Ste

[J. M. Pescado]

Or... are you asking for a break up to end without ruining relationships? I would think that a break up should be upsetting (assuming that sims are in crush/love/engaged/married). But.. if you wanted to maintain a friendship, you could probably still work at rebuidling that friendship. No?

There is basically no way to end the "romantic" aspect of a relationship which may have involved only one flirt without effectively declaring total war, as the romance flags will not go away until the relationship has been destroyed to the point where your sims are no longer friends of any kind.

As for romance bigs being unset... wouldn't those sort of naturally become unset if the relationship decays to a certain point. Can't you achieve this by never interacting with the sim in question, and allowed that relationship to decay? Just like you can lost best friends? Can't you fall out of love/crush? Or are you saying those Only get unset if sims do things to piss each other off?

You can, but this can only open if you effectively go total war on the matter, since they don't go away at the relationship level where they formed, but instead requires that you completely destroy the entire relationship first.

However... if lovers suddently stick to using more platonic interactions... if there was a way to monitor this... then it would make sense for the love bits to become unset. There probably isn't an easy way to keep track of this change tho.

Nope. At present, the "Total War" effect basically means a sim has to remain either monogamous, be stuck with those people forever, or declare total war on them. There is no way to "play the field" as such without one of the above. Once sims are in love, the only way to break it up is to basically nuke the entire relationship to ground zero. They can't simply snap out of it like regular peoples.

[Ancient Sim]

This is something I've wanted for a long time, amicable break-up.  In my new Pleasantview for instance, I didn't want Angela & Lilith being with Dustin & Dirk (done that already), so I simply removed the hearts in-game with the Insiminator (you can also do it in SimPE).  I did this because although both relationships were 2-bolters, Angela had 3 bolts with one of my other Sims and Lilith had 3 with Trepie!  As it happens, once Dustin joined them at Uni and got fit, Angela developed another bolt for him, but by then she was engaged to the other guy and Dustin had a 3-bolter with the townie teen who'd gone to Uni with him, so all was well. 

Of course, all four of them still have the fear of the previous partner dying, this doesn't seem to go no matter how old they get.  In my original Pleasantview, Robert Broke (Brandi's third), has had 3 fears throughout his life - the death of his wife and the death of his two teenage girlfriends (one of whom is married to Beau).  Don has carried the fear of Dina dying throughout both his elder periods.  They never forget their original loves, but they do move on.  They can become friends again easily enough, too.  I had Don break-up with Cassandra when he caught her cheating with Darren while they were still engaged and after he'd phoned her a couple of times (not sure why) they were best friends again, even though at one time they'd been enemies.

[nectere]

I would like an option to just break up at anytime without a major relationship point loss as well. However, in actuality it would be better if the whole relationship code wasn't so strict in forcing crushes and love at such a high rate and then forcing and even lower rate to get rid of the crush and love. I think sims should be able to do all that they do except marriage without love, just a crush should be sufficient, I think that would take care of the problem as there doesn't seem to be quite the relationship loss when crushes are over. Perhaps that is something that could be written into the romance mod?

There are really too many variables to where love should be lost or not lost depending on a person's playing style or a particular story line they have working for different characters. There should be a way to let certain characters just play the field, while their conquests may be in love with them or whatever the sad case may be, they are not in love with anyone (except themselves ha!). Having a forced code that dictates love is over when a sim starts a new relationship doesn't allow for fulfilling the romance aspiration lifetime wants. (20 loves at once)

I don't know what the answer is, but I still think crush should be good enough for relationships and love required for marriage. I don't know how you would keep the relationship at crush only, unless there was a way to dictate that once you reach a certain ltr level it gets harder and harder to get beyond that point, which would make sense, at least to me. Its too easy to fall in love in the sims, it should be harder, therefore it would be something you are actually trying to pursue rather than an annoyance.

[speedreader]

Just two days ago I was playing one of my elderly Sims who I was surprised to see still had a red heart for another Sim with whom she had 0 daily and 0 lifetime scores, probably an early adult love.  Wouldn't you know it, she ran into him while on a date downtown and he slapped her for flirting with her date.  How strange.  We are talking extended Sim years here and they still have these bizarre reactions to a past love!  Now I will have to go into PE and get rid of their furious relationship just so my Sim doesn't have to pick up trash for the rest of her life.

The combination of the NL furious state and Maxis' lack of foresight on love relationships can be really annoying.

[cwieberdink]

There are really too many variables to where love should be lost or not lost depending on a person's playing style or a particular story line they have working for different characters. There should be a way to let certain characters just play the field, while their conquests may be in love with them or whatever the sad case may be, they are not in love with anyone (except themselves ha!).

this would be good.  It's not always mutual.  But the things that cause it in the sims almost always cause it to be mutual.  There is such a delicate balance there that you might be able to catch it with only one sim in crush or love, but it's hard.

This is something I've wanted for a long time, amicable break-up. 

me too!  For the same situation... Darren and Dustin both found loves in my sim-granddaughters.  I had to make them "cheat" in front of Angela & Lilith to effect the breakup.

Of course, all four of them still have the fear of the previous partner dying, this doesn't seem to go no matter how old they get. 

I could be completely off base, but it seems family sims maintain the thoughts of loves much longer than other sims.  The first time I played pleasantview, I had a family sim who fell in love with Margaret Howe.  She then later fell in love with the grocery man and married him.  Even though Margaret moved out, the family sim NEVER lost the crush (although the relationship seemed to coast at a certain level for a long time).  She always got wants to call, talk to, etc. Margaret.

From my own experience, I was engaged to someone before I met my hubby.  It was NOT am amicable breakup, but I thought about that other guy, dreamed about him, fantasized about meeting up with him for YEARS after getting married.  And I knew he wasn't good for me.  I knew my husband was a much better match -- my soulmate -- but you never forget those first loves.  KWIM?

C

[katemonster]

I think it would do it for me if the hearts would just automatically go away at a certain relationship point--it would make sense if they'd even just go away when it hits the point where they showed up. So the love heart goes away when the LTR drops to 70 (which doesn't take that long, and would eliminate the problem of elders still being jealous about people they dated in college). I don't think there's a set relationship score where crush hearts can appear--at least I've never noticed it--if there is, that's when they should go away, but otherwise I think they should go away when the STR drops to, say, 50.

Breaking up should also make love and crush hearts go away, at least for the person doing the breaking up (I know this isn't entirely realistic, but it's better than the way it is. Or the breakup should just set both relationships much closer to having the hearts go away, so you can maintain them if you want to but if you don't they'll go away fast.) I think this works best with the "adult/multiple committed relationships" features of the Inteenimater--but since JMP hates the Inteenimater, I think that he should make it so that "break up" is available to any couple in love regardless of their official relationship. You don't have to be engaged to break up in real life, and this would make it lots easier to get rid of hearts without waging total war.

Hearts should not automatically go away upon marriage--I have lots of sims I wouldn't want this to happen to--but if you ignore your old flames for long enough they should go away. Ideally, if you want to get rid of all old flames before you get married, you should be able to break up with them even though you don't actually have an official relationship.

[Pegasys]

On a similar note....

It would be great if there was a hack so that "Had an Affair" and jealousy was not triggered when all someone did was flirt, especially if the flirt was not accepted. Maybe at least Kiss-Romantic? I guess this would be similar to the Romance mod but that's apparently not NL-compatible?

[Swiftgold]

The romance mod as found in the director's cut is updated for NL - thankfully! However, I really agree with this - something is preventing one of my Sims' old loves from getting jealous when she kisses her husband in front of him, and since she's Family and he's Popularity and not Romance or anything, that's something that should happen. Guess I have to try to remember to take the mods out briefly...

[syberspunk]

I think it would do it for me if the hearts would just automatically go away at a certain relationship point--it would make sense if they'd even just go away when it hits the point where they showed up. So the love heart goes away when the LTR drops to 70 (which doesn't take that long, and would eliminate the problem of elders still being jealous about people they dated in college). I don't think there's a set relationship score where crush hearts can appear--at least I've never noticed it--if there is, that's when they should go away, but otherwise I think they should go away when the STR drops to, say, 50.

Breaking up should also make love and crush hearts go away, at least for the person doing the breaking up (I know this isn't entirely realistic, but it's better than the way it is. Or the breakup should just set both relationships much closer to having the hearts go away, so you can maintain them if you want to but if you don't they'll go away fast.) I think this works best with the "adult/multiple committed relationships" features of the Inteenimater--but since JMP hates the Inteenimater, I think that he should make it so that "break up" is available to any couple in love regardless of their official relationship. You don't have to be engaged to break up in real life, and this would make it lots easier to get rid of hearts without waging total war.

Hearts should not automatically go away upon marriage--I have lots of sims I wouldn't want this to happen to--but if you ignore your old flames for long enough they should go away. Ideally, if you want to get rid of all old flames before you get married, you should be able to break up with them even though you don't actually have an official relationship.

I agree with a lot of what you say. People should lose crushes and loves with the relationship decay or by breaking up. I also like the idea of it being one-sided in that the one who does the breaking up should have the crush/love hearts unset. The one who is broken up with may not necessarily lose the hearts unless the result of the breakup drops the relationship past a certain threshold. I think the break up option should be available if the relationship has dipped past a certain threshold... or maybe if the sim is in a very bad mood. That would make the most sense to me. It shouldn't be super easy to breakup... but on the other hand, you shouldn't have to "Declare Total War" just to break up.

I also agree that engagement/marriage/etc. shouldn't necessarily unset hearts, since getting engaged/married to someone doesn't necessarily mean that you fall out of love with someone else. And at least that leaves the game open up to affairs and such for story purposes and "romance" sims. But at least, if you use the "Break Up" option, you are officially declaring in a sense, that you are no longer in "love" with that sim. Too bad there isn't an adult version of "Go Steady," so that sims could actually define "monogamous" adult relationsihps, and also have an option to "Break Up" as well. I suppose instead, adults that are not married/engaged, but in love/crush, can have the "Break Up" option just unset the hearts, at least from the side of the breakupper and not necessarily on the breakuppee.

Ste

[Swiftgold]

I also agree that engagement/marriage/etc. shouldn't necessarily unset hearts, since getting engaged/married to someone doesn't necessarily mean that you fall out of love with someone else. And at least that leaves the game open up to affairs and such for story purposes and "romance" sims. But at least, if you use the "Break Up" option, you are officially declaring in a sense, that you are no longer in "love" with that sim. Too bad there isn't an adult version of "Go Steady," so that sims could actually define "monogamous" adult relationsihps, and also have an option to "Break Up" as well. I suppose instead, adults that are not married/engaged, but in love/crush, can have the "Break Up" option just unset the hearts, at least from the side of the breakupper and not necessarily on the breakuppee.

Ste

With InTeen, there is - in fact I think unless you have the flavor pak installed you have to have your adult Sims go steady too before you can propose-engagement. You can also break up at any time, but I think it's only if you've had them go steady/get engaged/married first... not sure.

[Oddysey]

The basic probably that I have with the romance system in the game, as a simulation of real relationships, is that love isn't a binary property. Ideally (and this is something that Maxis would have to implement, and probably won't happen) "love" would be sort of a seperate relationship bar. Maybe even an invisible one. Only romantic interactions would affect this bar. Or something. Because I'm not one flirt away from falling completely and totally in love with every single one of my friends. That would just be silly.

I do like the one sided break up idea. That would be nifty.

[seventhson]

With InTeen, there is - in fact I think unless you have the flavor pak installed you have to have your adult Sims go steady too before you can propose-engagement. You can also break up at any time, but I think it's only if you've had them go steady/get engaged/married first... not sure.

Adult Sims have to start with a 'committed relationship', then engagement. And yes, they can break up with anyone they've entered into a committed relationship or higher with.

I'd also love to see ways to have amicable break-ups in the game, and a smarter 'cheating' system...honestly, some of us flirt with our friends all the time, and don't fall instantly in love with accompanying insane jealousy when they kiss their boyfriend/girlfriend/etc.

[KiwiPriss]

Yeah i noticed that, I managed to solve my own problem, if two people are in a commited relationship, they can break up at any point while only losing a small amount of relationship, so thanks.

[J. M. Pescado]

The romance mod as found in the director's cut is updated for NL - thankfully! However, I really agree with this - something is preventing one of my Sims' old loves from getting jealous when she kisses her husband in front of him, and since she's Family and he's Popularity and not Romance or anything, that's something that should happen. Guess I have to try to remember to take the mods out briefly...

The Romance mod squelches the screaming slapping fits when a sim interacts with their rightful spouse. As for the flirt thing, there's only one "jealousy enabled" bit, and attempting to change that would require an extensive overhaul of the entire jealousy thing.

[syberspunk]

The Romance mod squelches the screaming slapping fits when a sim interacts with their rightful spouse. As for the flirt thing, there's only one "jealousy enabled" bit, and attempting to change that would require an extensive overhaul of the entire jealousy thing.

Ahh... so with the romancemod, you can no longer make an extramarital lover jealous by doing romantic interactions with a sims correct fiance(e) or spouse? Was that always a feature? I don't remember from before NL, and I barely had a chance to really play long term with it (I never really had any married couples with extramarital affairs to test it out).

Ste

[Swiftgold]

The Romance mod squelches the screaming slapping fits when a sim interacts with their rightful spouse. As for the flirt thing, there's only one "jealousy enabled" bit, and attempting to change that would require an extensive overhaul of the entire jealousy thing.

Ahh... so with the romancemod, you can no longer make an extramarital lover jealous by doing romantic interactions with a sims correct fiance(e) or spouse? Was that always a feature? I don't remember from before NL, and I barely had a chance to really play long term with it (I never really had any married couples with extramarital affairs to test it out).

Ste

I believe that was always a feature - and normally it's just what I'm looking for, heh! But in this particular case I don't want the wife to be unfaithful and I want the 'other man' to get jealous since it would be realistic... taking it out briefly and letting the Traditional Maxis Jealousy swoop down will do it. *grin* After the rampant cheating I had going on in the early days of my game, I've swung back to letting them date whoever before marriage but most of them staying faithful afterward ('cept Romance Sims of course - and the two I had married have already ruined it with autonomous uncontrolled stuff downtown). I don't want her to randomly be making out with Former Lover Boy since he won't get jealous over her being married now!