It's thankfully back up.

Pfehehehehe.


Yes, I own it and I've never been able to do a full run of it myself. I think looking up a guide would do it a disservice, but man.

Aye, I stuck my finger in the pish that is The Sims 4: Because 2 Steps Back, Twice, Equals Four when they offered a free trial. Bombed out like a Dresden maiden on a mixture of Midori and Stolichnaya (a terrible composition I will tell you, but alas I had little else to dull the shakes of alcoholism) I blistered my way through the creation of a marvellously contorted creature that seemed to lack any semblance of humanity while also perfectly encapsulating the all-too-human, poison-induced suffering that rattled inside my booze-addled heart. I don't recall much of the gameplay itself, but I think that sums it all up, really.

When I awoke in a puddle of shattered glass and fine cheese vomit the next morning (late evening) with a headache I had already uninstalled both The Sims 4 in my drunken stupor. Considering the likes of EYE: Divine Cybermancy (a heinously obtuse game with barely a shred of comprehensibility) managed to make impressions on myself in far blacker states of sloshedness I can only suffice to say that the Sims 4 has about the staying power of a flavorless Cheesy Wotsit (Cheeto for you septics) in a torrential hailstorm. I've since had no urge to return to it, even when seeing CC I would much rather use than what's available for TS3.

 Even staring into those goblin-eyed nightmares that the Pudding World Generator manages to crank out at a gatling-gun rate, I feel somewhere closer to home than I did touching The Sims 4's install button that first time. The exact opposite of home, it felt like a childhood soujorn into a motorway siding in the mid-2000s, before smartphones; astricken by the slave-driver nature of childhood, all one had to occupy themselves with was sit there and stare at cars flying by like the proverbial Flying Dutchman, hoping the majesty of a warm, toy and video game filled home would arrive soon. Neither distressed enough to bawl, nor entertained enough to grin, a true purgatorial state of absolute, complete, NOTHING.

I'll also say that pouring a liter of raw ethanol into my body was less toxic to my cells than clicking "Install" on the Origin launcher. What a pain in the arse.