Yeah, moar noobism, I get it.
Straight to the point, I'd uninstalled the game, re-installed, patched to 1.4.6 through the launcher, then re-applied the cracked TS3.exe and DLL files.
The next time I went to play the game, the UI was all messed up (See attached picture) and I couldn't switch playable sims.
Any answer is a good one. Unless it's not.