I asked before. Apparently there is no way to have sims autonomously place a crib in a way that is logical or make any source of sense of a normal house layout (ie they might randomly shove it on the lawn or in the middle of the bathroom or whatever).

I then thought well can't they just shove it in their inventory and just say they have it, but that did not meet the rigorous Pescado standards so instead the plan is (as I understand it) that if they don't own a crib instead of, you know, buying one, they will move out of an otherwise perfectly good house into one that has one.