More Awesome Than You!

You know the drill by now. This month, we seek out the MOST OFFENSIVE STORY OR MOVIE. Because it's not enough to just be shit....it must also offend common decency! We recommend you save shots of these turds before you submit them here, lest they be yoinked when brought to light.

Judges: Ellatrue

Plenty of inspiration in the Tragic Story thread. http://www.moreawesomethanyou.com/smf/index.php/topic,8186.0.html

I nominate this one: http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=159590

Title: Maid to the Devil
Description: Slavery, beating, rape... How does MElody pull through?

Screenshots will be added if/when it's yanked.

Looks like the maids are cloning.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v730/nz_witch/2maids-1.jpg)

Ghastly little story, very appropriate for the topic.

Here's a brand new and sensational story from the Exchange:

IM A DAMN GOOD MOHTER (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170337&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

I don't know if it's offensive enough ... but it's hilarious.


Oh, Quintasia, you little slut!

And for those that don't have the time to read it, this just about sums it up:

Chirstina:i am tired 5 months pregnate and i cant get any sleep cause your bastard children keep crying.
Quintasia:sorry mom it wont happen again

Oh hell, some poor little teen bint agonised over this story, it has a ring of truth, but it's still very, very funny. Unintentionally ironic but so very funny. God I'm a hard bitch.

The only one i can think of was an incest story i found on the exchange. It was apparently offensive because its been yoiked and i can't find it now. Amazingly enough it had good writing and an interesting story.

Oh that was a precious story. The moral of it speaks to me : rape me, sodomize me, beat me, but don't ever - ever - try to make me cook and clean.
God, I can't wait till part 2!

Oh, GOD, no. Who thought up this one? I am so not clicking any of those links. Poor Bangelnuts, I really pity her this month.

"rushed her upstairs to the patient room" WTF? Like every home has a room set up for patients with IV drips and hospital beds...

And the spelling is making me go crossed eyed, it's like trying to have an IM chat with my 13 year old brother:
"Quint: thats it every since i got pregnate yuo been acting reali mean toward me why mom im onli human we all ake mistakes i said im sorry"

"WILL CHRISTINA EVER COME TO HER SENSES AND FORGIVER HER ONLY CHILD?" but she's got another one on the way, which should've been born by now.

Oh my god, how can you not?

I especially love how the "I'm a good mohter (sic)" story is, as far as I read, told with the walls down in all the pics.


Here's one with only 3 entries, catagorized as "Mystery"
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169923&asset_type=story&user_id=3904298
Here it is in its entirety:
(http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/7108/storyvn4.jpg)

She might be fat and ugly, but I bet she can spell and use punctuation correctly.  ::)

My eyes! My beautiful little eyes! They're bleeding! The goggles do nothing!

All you have to do for this challenge is check the front page of the Story Listing on the exchange everyday. WITHOUT FAIL you will find gold.

Today we have My Slut Mom, My Forgotten Sister, and Me (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170585&asset_type=story&user_id=3904298&hideFramework=&languageCode=). Sounds heartwarming. <3


Her daddy is Malcom Landgrabb IV by the way.


So what's worse? A "pot addict" or a slut? Tough call.

(http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/4599/snapshot9393f8447394056mw1.jpg)

What in the world is this? How can that be catching butterflies? Nice story, a pot smoking slut. I gotta keep looking for these "literary masterpieces". I've seen some great ones in my time, I just wish I could still find them.

I'll have to delurk, but this little gem I found needs to be shared:

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=118960&asset_type=story&user_id=3042683

Here's the story for those allergic to Exchange Clicking:


BLUEWATER VILLAGE

Ah yes, he started off as no more than a pathetic cook but suddenly....

His Mother died and she was a rather large women and took up 2 graves.He Must avenge her....

By getting married and having kids. She met sweet young Betty. Ah the light of his life. But this relationship was just not to be. So he killed her.

So you may ask WHY THE HECK IS THIS SLIDE IMPORTANT??Well let me tell you. That is not an ordinary Picture. For behind it is a secrect chanber in which lays his X-Girlfreinds Left Nostrile. And a rare 1943 Gumball from Ugolsavia, along with a chocolate milk cows upper-right nipple.

Supposivly he sharpend his knife waiting for his next victim to be killed, or maybe he might accually love the next one.......

Then He met Janet. Will she save her life and win his heart?Or die from another murder? Let's find out. They were almost married except for the day before the Wedding he found out she (or should i say he) was a man, so the morning of the wedding he killed her and blame NASA.And untill this day nobody knows where he kept her left nostrile.

I may never recover from the horror that is the exchange stories section... shudder.

For including every cliche of trashiness this one certainly deserves a mention: http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=149433&asset_type=story&user_id=2640513 .  It's called "The Diary of Pain and Loss" and includes incest, rape, a stripper mother, an abusive father, a trashed house, self mutilation and pregnancy as a result of said incest and rape.  That's just chapter 1.  I didn't have the stomach to see what she came up with for the sequel, though,rest assured, there are more chapters available.

Then for just icky tastelessness : http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170186&asset_type=story&user_id=1840355
It's a sim story of Columbine with Sim graphic reenactments and atrocious spelling.

Holy cow, I love how they recycle the default pics  :-X.

I find the pot head mother story amusing.
Every pot head I have ever met has never been energetic enough to be abusive.
Alcoholics as abusive I could believe most other drugs as well. Pot heads ...more the neglectful type.
Pot heads generally just don't give damn. ....and how do you have double doses of pot? I wasn't aware there was a form of "dose" for it. Is it amazingly in pill form? Are they extracting the THC oil into ounces?

So let me get this straight: Malcolm Landgraab discovers his wife has been abusing their daughter and in a fit of rage decides to leave without taking his daughter with him?! Now that's just sloppy characterization right there. Yuch.

The Columbine one has to be the most tasteless story I've ever read. The issue of rape has been so trivialized on the Exchange that I barely even blinked at the other ones.

WTF is a Chocolate Milk Cow???

My Summary of BLUEWATER VILLAGE:
"My mother is so fat she took up two graves and I needed to avenge her so I got married. I have a nostril fetish. I keep dismembered body parts in a secret chamber and I also have a gumball from Ugoslavia (Isn't it Yugoslavia?). Oh, I also murder my wives because that's what all the cool people do!"

It doesn't even make sense. That author is on crack, but most likely something stronger. I've wrote a few stories in my time (No one ever commented or read) and that is not a story.

Also, on the Columbine Story, I found it in horrible taste and sad that was all they had to write about. A tribute maybe, but a reenactment - no. I couldn't even read that, and I've read a lot of exchange trash. My favorite part was the painted on blood (not really).

*goes back to her tiny world where she believes that only people with writing talent write stories of any kind*

Quotes from story:
"Ahhhhhhhhh TWINSSSS"
"All they did was cry and cry and cry"

Hmmn, suggest they install the Seasons patch - for a third time.  :P

This person clearly is confusing "putting disparate and weird elements together" for "writing something actually funny".

A common newbie mistake.

Putting un-alike items together in sequence is a comedy standard, but one that needs to be handled by professionals, not 12 year olds.

The spelling mistakes, strange punctuation and odd capitalization, and childish "I said 'nipple', tee hee!" stuff just add to the overall shitfulness.

I thought the demands for comments really pushed the pot mother one over the edge.

Holy shit, I think that Columbine story might be a contender for the winner. I couldn't even finish reading it. WTF.

I feel sorry for the judges....having to actually READ all of this shit.

::::shudders::::::

What really puts that one in the winner (loser) category is the gratuitous use of MS Paint effects and the strange idea that putting conversation cues in parentheses is clever or appropriate. (Said Lorelei to the MATY forum, exasperatedly.)

The completely unrealistic carnage as depicted by blobbing flat red streaks on the photos is really far more offensive aesthetically to me than the storyline. Also? The scanner "recoloured" as a weapon by blacking it out. Hell, I'm not even into recreating tragedies for fun and PROFIT! The Exchange, but a quick search found me approximately three dozen gun objects for Sims 2.

The luser obviously is reveling in his/her 12ness, and slapping a "gee, sorry you victim guys and stuff, this is really done as a sensitive tribute to your memories!" tag onto the story does not successfully hide that it was really an excuse to MSPaint a scanner into a 'gun', slap MSPaint blood on everyone, and to be half-assed about actually telling a story that has any emotional impact beyond "WTF? You're 12, GTFOTI!".

Yeah, so after this I HAD to go back and read this. WTF. It's not only offensive and unnecessary, but totally fug.

And it has no bearing on the actual events that took place, either. Who are these people? Preschool in NY, what?

Also:

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/86/170186/snapshot_738f3f85_f38f5d92.jpg)

As a dog comes he notice 2 Trench Coat on the floor of the school grounds .

(IT'S RED BECAUSE IT'S DOG VISION, PEOPLE!!!)

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/86/170186/snapshot_738f3f85_338f5a75.jpg)

That when the dog was sencing something bad was happening .
 
???

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/86/170186/snapshot_738f3f85_138b32f0.jpg)

Is this the actual still from the footage? Or was this made in the Sims 1?

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/86/170186/snapshot_738f3f85_f3901901.jpg)

WTF.

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/86/170186/snapshot_738f3f85_538f3f86.jpg)

Thank to this awsom cast to make it look real and acting great .

-God bless all they say



Upcoming Sims Movie Story

The Fantastic 4 (Revenge of Gallactous )

"From the award-winning director of the Columbine High School tragedy ... comes a story of four superheroes!"

Gah! My brain!

YEAH, right there....the "gun" and "blood" are the marks of High Art for sure.

("Dog vision"! Roffle! Actually dog vision = human vision at dusk, not SCREAMING RED. Duh.)

The columbine story would have offended me just in terms of the writing alone (there's a reason speech marks were invented kids) even without the content matter. I completely agree with Lorelei. It's a tasteless tactless MSpaint mess. eurgh.

I think the contest is over.

Although it pains me to do it, I nominate Lorelei as a judge because she seems to be able to comment on these excressences without vomiting.

Rohina, you are SO off my holiday card list.

I don't mind judging, with one major caveat that may make my judgeship invalid: I am on dial-up. I cannot see any videos. Or, technically, I could, but after waiting several hours for one to (partially) load would render me unfit to do anything but say "it suxxors, I want those two hours of my life back". This also means I do not get to see talented people's stuff (sill bummed about missing out on Brynne's goodies, actually) and thus have no basis of comparison. Note that I get black screens of doom with audio when I try to shoot vids myself.

Maybe someone with a faster-than-dialup connection (that'd be anyone else, really) can poke sticks at simfilms while I tackle the excrescence that is still image "story telling"?

I'm just sayin'.

Otherwise all my suxxor nominees will be unfairly weighted towards suxxor stills.

Well, I have a video nomination, but I'm not sure if it's really 'deserving' of being here if it's actually just a recreation of a music video. Even if it is, however, I find the whole concept of it to be rather. . . uhhh, ridiculous and offensive.

Beautiful, Part 2 - Song: I Believe in Love by the Dixie Chicks (http://youtube.com/watch?v=JdoO7sA3dz8)

So the premise of the video is that a woman is raped by a common thug and has his baby. However, the rapist comes back and watches her raising his son and then just shows up one day and they become one big happy family. The fact that a rapist could just show up one day and 'claim' his family while it's being sung to a song about love just appalls me.

If (like I said earlier) it's just actually a recreation of this video or whatnot, feel free to ignore me entirely.

Warning!   If the subject of rape in any way disturbs or bothers you, do not watch this video, and certainly don't read the comments to it. It's not graphic, but I feel I should warn anyone uncomfortable with such content.

... aka: have a baby, babies will sane EVERYTHING. Children are the ONLY important thing that may happen: rape, violence, everything became of no importance, in front of children births.

...I think I have to puke...  :-X

Oh for the love of...  I think that the comments may actually be the most frigtening part of that video.  My favorite was when someone said that the fact she invites the guy who raped her in for dinner was unrealistic and the maker of video responded with : "thats the twist of the story. it happens in reality. ".  Shudder.

"That happens in reality"  ???

Right. Hmm.

Gee, you've just attacked me, I'm bruised, torn, denigrated and traumatized. What shall we do while we wait for the police to drag your bum ass to jail? I know, I can whip up a roast! I can do those little potato crips you like..and how about crepes for dessert? I think I have some fresh fruit...

Bah.

If that's reality, it's a world I don't think I want to know about.

In other words, only with serious whining, kicking, and screaming will I be forced to read/watch the submissions for this contest.

What the hell? That video was creepy. So let me get this straight: Dude rapes Gigantic Chin Girl. She has a kid (just like every other sim rape story). Dude randomly hugs kid. She is pissed. They have dinner. They smustle and all the emotional trauma goes away.

That does not happen in real life. At least I've never heard about it.

I also tried to go back and read the Columbine story again, I just can't do it, I have failed.

WHAT
THE
HELL

That was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. URGHUHGUHKJHKGH. I can't believe somebody made that.

I'm pretty sure that that video violates the terms of use for youtube, but frankly, I'm not game to watch to find out. I can't bring myself to flag it no matter how much glorifying rape disgusts me, without having seen it first.

Fucking conscience!

Okay, I'm all for free speech, but some of these people need to be smacked.  Honestly.

No, the Dixie Chicks would never make a video like that -- after all, this is the same band who made a song and video called "Goodbye Earl' about an abused wife killing her husband and disposing of the body.  Don't seem to be the type to make a 'he raped me and now we're a happy family' video/song.

Well that video sure was something... What's the message of that story anyway? Get raped and you'll be happy? Gah, I think my brain just broke.

Apparently the theme is that if you get raped, you'll be perfectly fine as long as you have a baby. If you don't, then you're fucked (both literally and figuratively).  >:(


The horrible part about it (beyond the obvious) is that they actually did quite a good job of portraying the trauma that rape induces. The only thing that ruined it completely was the ending. If it was just a shit video, it wouldn't have been worth being nominated. However, side from some technical issues, the video was (in my opinion) actually put together quite well, which just makes the contents that much worse.

I decided to see what else this genius has produced.

Here's one set to Jewel's "These Foolish Games": http://youtube.com/watch?v=s5O50-I19pA

It features more push-ups sex, plus a sword fight between a wife and her naked husband. I love the fact that the wife is this lily-white redhead and the evil slut he is cheating on her with his is, of course, black.

This is just ... ridiculously silly drivel: http://youtube.com/watch?v=HdxOYye1hak

I'm so amused that when they are roasting marshmallows you can see her start to catch fire right at the last minute. And OMG, the fairy dancing at the end. WHAT.

This is the great director by the way: http://tyropark.multiply.com/

Did anyone else think that the woman from the 'ever so tasteful' rape video looked like one of the blue meanies from yellow submarine, just dyed pink?

EDIT:
I has an offering too... "The Hills Have Eyes" as you've never seen it before, nor want to see it again.
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=115099&asset_type=story&user_id=1804721 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=115099&asset_type=story&user_id=1804721)

Jen:"Help! mom has been raped!"
Jon:"By who?"
Jen:"A Mutant!"

Sounds like Ed Wood was responsible for the script of that one  ;D

I think I've lost the count of rapes somewhere in the middle of the story. Someone please can briefly supply the rape/mutants rate? The guy who went to toilet and got burned alive somehow distracted me from the main plot.

I feel I should add this one just for the WTF factor and for encouraging the little ones to add the reaper to the family The rocky horror show, with aliens and grim doing the time warp... (http://youtube.com/watch?v=e2kYy42ZRVU)

From the Hills have eyes story:
tee hee

There was a plot?

If that was the simmified version of The Hills Have Eyes then I don't want to see the real one. That was horrible. 24 pages of one-liners and half of it didn't make sense. 

Rape Count from that one: Indeterminable, there were too many rapes to count.

Why do these people think rape is the kind of crap to write a sims story about??

My Favorite Line from "The Hills Have Eyes":


And of course the part about Bill being burnt in the bathroom.

I liked the sword fighting naked video, stupidity at it's best. The whole mistress being black was really, well racial stereotyping I guess...

Here's a good one.  It's called Heaven's Garden.  I don't know what it's about.  After a couple of pages your brain locks up.
Heaven's Garden (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=161362&asset_type=story&user_id=2566478Cat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

I'd wondered what this month's Awful contest would be - I thought we'd basically gone through all the types of custom content. Awful Stories - heh, I approve ;D. Well, I don't really - I wish some of these kids would learn to write. But it seems worthy that we mark the awfulness somehow. Shame we have stories and videos rolled into the same month's contest - I'd have thought there'd be enough of each to run them separately.

I dunno, she could always NOT VOLUNTEER this month ;). I can't decide whether I want to volunteer to help judge, or simply find some awful stories of my own so avoid being called upon.

For what it's worth, this one at least features roughly correct spelling and grammar, unlike any of the others. Got to give it some positive points for that!

It's rather bizarre, because at the beginning the mother, Christina, is pregnant. Then the daughter, Quintasia (?!), collapses and the father, Max, finds out she is pregnant - even though she wasn't showing. Then suddenly Quintasia goes into labour and gives birth - to twins, of course - while her mum is still "5 months pregnate" (sic). Uh...

I also agree with the comments about the "patient room" upstairs.

Particularly "impressive"ly, this story features the wonder that is a kid not even managing to spell the names of their main characters consistently. Both Christina and Quintasia have typoed versions within the chapter. You will see this repeated throughout the Awful Stories.

I think Bangelnuts may have suffered a fatal brain hemorrhage from all the awfulness, as she hasn't appeared in awhile and hasn't submitted her judging in last month's contest yet.

Apparently it's about a woman who was raped and beaten repeatedly by her husband. She wanted a child but he didn't, so she escaped by gardening. One day she found a plantsim child and adopted her. Then she caught her husband having an affair, but for some reason she was jealous and upset by the fact he wasn't beating her as much (?). Finally she confronted him and he beat her so hard she died. But it was ok, because her child was in fact an angel, who took her to Heaven.

What?!  I don't think it was terribly well put together.  1. Either choose a dress mesh for the female that doesn't make for such incredibly bad one sim going through the other effect or change them to naked (or shoot it from a perspective that doesn't show the male actually going through the skirt!).  2.  Editing problem, when she runs out angry near the end she's pregnant again for a few frames.  3. This doesn't really fit the category but it's still stupid, what's with the underwater shrubs?  Was the creator just *that* excited about moveobjects on?  Just because you can put something in the bottom of a pond doesn't mean that it looks good there.
Although I did think the smustle scene with just the mom and the son was kind of adorable.  But that's partially because the smustle is adorable.

The hills have eyes one was hysterical.  I liked the part with Bill.  Although I still think the winner for most complete incoherence is the weird murder one with the left nostril.  That one made my brain bleed the most so far.

The time warp video was brilliant... perfect timing, perfect direction and it put a smile on my face. Only quibble was the 15secs of blank screen at the end, they could have just faded out once the credits ended.

Perhaps I should amend my previous statement: the video could have been a lot worse technically speaking. The flashback of the rape was a nice touch, the lingering shot on the pregnant belly and the camera angles that shot from the rapist's point-of-view when he was observing the family weren't that bad. I'm not saying this was a piece of cinematic mastery, but it's not like it was a mess of randomly shot videos spliced together with no regard for pacing and/or ambience. There were a lot of things that could have been improved on, but I've seen much worse.

The content still horrifies me, though.

Indeed  ;D.

Yes! And how about that EVERY SINGLE SHOT was zooming in? Or that the watchout-rapist was vampire stalking? Or the SKIPPING rapists?

Oh, the huge manatee!

It put a smile on my face too.  Perhaps someone could point the creator to this item (http://www.moreawesomethanyou.com/smf/index.php/topic,7914.msg222083.html#msg222083) from the April Whore Clothes contest.  The outfit was made for Rocky Horror videos, surely?

Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaa too much food. Salt bad. *more food-related groaning* (page loads) Whoa! Yes, that was definitely made for Rocky Horror!

So glad you added this last, hardly convincing sentence, because otherwise it looks like a pretty gung-ho defense of the whole rape thing.

What surprised me was that the rape vid was made by a male. I'm used to every 13 year old girl making a rape story, and am not surprised when they end them with some sort of oh-he-raped-me-but-I-love-him-anyway-because-clearly-he-only-raped-me-because-he-loves-me-sooo-much crap-type endings.  Sigh, maybe I'll toddle off and see if I can find a male on male rape story or movie, just for comparisons sake....... unless one has been posted about already and I missed it .... though I think someone would have mentioned it

No more exchange stories for me before breakfast. 

Yeah, the lighthearted, skipping rapists-very Clockwork Orange.

I blame soap operas for the sickening concept of rapist-turned-true love.
A prime example being General Hospital, where Luke raped Laura in the Disco and they went on to have fun-filled crime solving adventures and became America's favorite fantasy couple.  ::)

OK this is an interesting one, slow voice overs and interesting graphics glitches, along with the blockiness... and there's a kind of plot, but it's a cliffhanger so watch out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDbSIABzDKs&NR=1

At first the title sequence seemed too long, but after the first two sentences, I thought it could have been even longer - 2:49 minutes, to be exact. I didn't make it to the cliffhanger, so please let me know if I missed something ;D.

My favorite is "Diary of Pain and Loss", definitively:
"She play with her so her social bar doesn't go down too much" Thanks for not letting the readers forget that it's about The Sims.
Just like that one: "he forced to try for baby with him" Okay, not that funny in the context, but WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yeah, but the male on male are usually written by girls too. I had a yahoo group based rpg when I was younger. All the gay characters and love scenes were written by girls. The majority of the male characters were girls and the fan fiction they read involving male cannon characters in love were also by girls. For some damn reason pre-teen-early teen girls are obsessed with the romantic idea of rape. I blame the television, its romanticized everything. They are also just as interested getting hot guys in bed with other guys as any hormone crazed gay boy.

No interest whatsoever in going digging for nominations for this just judging by what you all are finding. The official site should really have some sort of story submission filter. If it contains the word "rape" the upload should terminate, and their screen filled with that "Do Not Want" lolcat.

I hope---I really really hope---that the prevalence of this sort of thing is due to the fact that the kiddies don't understand the difference between rape and consentual sex. It's sad, but it's better than believing our society will be filled with a bunch of rapists in the next decade. Parents really have to start edumacating the kiddies early.

Hmmm, since I haven't come up with a more convincing way of 'picking a fight with Ugly Butt' as per Pescado's instructions, I see you've taken it upon yourself to use the old tried and true 'anti-feminist' method to try to start things up again. Yawn. Boring! Can't we be a little more creative in our catfights for his amusement? Because [deity] knows that if you comment on a video's technical merit in a less-than-unfavorable way, that automatically means you approve of the content of it. Silly Ugly Butt.

On topic, though, I think the hardest part of this challenge is going to be finding offensive movies or stories that don't contain rape in some way, since it's a real-life trauma that doesn't occur in The Sims 2 (unlike certain death scenarios). One would likely have to wade through a whole shitload of stories to find one with the subject of murder that would be considered offensive and not just stupid, silly or ridiculous. Also, I would imagine that the stories/movies that contain the more objectionable material would likely be found on sites like LiveJournal, making it infinitely more difficult to hunt them down.

I really liked that. Considering we did the Time Warp at a friends Wedding however, thats hardly surprising ... :/ I'm a big dork.
It was well made and had allot of effort.
They should have a little chat with this person, whose attempt at something similar, failed.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3V3fLBYtO2k
This would be one of those things that I feel makes Tim Curry hate his involvement with that movie even more then he already does.

Okay,this little gem features, not rape, but homophobia and patricide, and is thoroughly offensive in many ways: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpmBBj15rpM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpmBBj15rpM)

To sum up the 'plot', two small girls suspect dad has a gay lover, subsequently find dad in bed with said lover ((they even went to bed toguether!), kill them both, and live happily ever after :P.

The 'scenes' are so jumpy and jerky they are almost more nauseating than the story. I'm not clear on whether the wife is the one who went crazy, or the one in the Grand Vamp dress & I don't quite get how they 'killed' daddy-he just sort of....died.
Just plain awful in both concept and execution.

Gay incest. With subtitles. The dialogue is lacking and the "plot" is that the father and son whoohoo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw3-Y6UHuks


and heres one that is actualy quite good. Bit of a WTF moment at first. The frog prince with sims2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwI2_M13FIg

Well, I'm not submitting this, since I just clicked the author page for one of the entries, but seriously, take a look at some of these stories.
http://thesims2.ea.com/mysimpage/uploads.php?user_id=1804721&asset_type=story
My favourites are FaT cAmP!, The Bunny, and The Crumplebottom Story (blue carpet=water?).
This person succeeds in making cruel fun of fat people, retarded people, and homosexuals in some of the most horribly written, pointless stories I've ever encountered.  What beats me is how all these stories are rated four stars.  ???

After watching a couple of more of cokedude8's offerings I'm beginning to think that 'The Hills Have Eyes' was one of his better efforts. If it wasn't for the fact he claims to be in 8th grade and 1312 then I'd suspect he's been on something rather more hallucinogenic than coke.

Maybe it's cocaine rather than Coca Cola. :D

This challenge is great! xD

IM A DAMN GOOD MOHTER and These Foolish Games made me laugh out loud.  :D


Here are some shitty stories:

"lost on lovers lane" http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5185
 (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5185)
"I should listen you" http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5184 (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5184) (Has quotable lines like "NO I DONT LISTEN YOU!", "I DONT WANT HAVE BABYS OK!" and "I HATE CHILDRENS!!!")
"lilly gold" http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=4132 (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=4132)

They may not be very offensive, but they are SHITTY.

I'll try to find something really offensive.

I enjoyed the frog prince. Have also been amusing myself giving only 1 star to all overrated stories.

I liked the frog prince too. And that cokedude must have an obsession about setting houses on fire. Pyromaniac, maybe?

EDITED TO ADD:
In short: what the heck is this?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD0GZwNK1X0

ARGH.

Okay. Here's the ones I can actually see on dialup.

REVIEW: "Heaven's Garden"

Story/Plot (often mutually exclusive): Poor little rich girl is forced to marry assy little rich rapist adulterous fist-fllinging boy, is beaten and sexually abused, denied her desire to have kiddies, but a little green infant she finds sitting in her yard (and apparently makes no effort to return to her kin) saves the day. I think. As far as I can tell, both mother and foster child are beaten to death and go to Plant Sim Land, which is supposedly Heaven. Just a wild guess, given the title of this poo. And everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. Uh.

Grammar/Spelling/Typos:
"Heavinly Garden!" Can't decide what the real title is supposed to be.
"Raya emideately told them about the child and to make a good impression Ethan told them that they "offcourse" were keeping the child and oh how he "loved" children." Augh!
"Asking Ethan would be suecide so raya guessed she would never know. He can sleep with anyone he wants as long as they dont do it in my home. I never want to si her or know anything about her........" Three dots for an ellipsis within a sentence, four if it is at the end, but better not to use any at all if you can't use them correctly. Apostrophe key broken.
"Yes she thought I'm to tired and weak to live anymore. "argh" blood gupled out of her mouth as Ethan took another hard-core blow to her head. Crying and moaning Raya thought that now at this moment Ethan could win and she would be rid of her missery." Often neglects to capitalize proper nouns, use proper punctuation, or words that actually exist in English.
""No, no, no." she cried out. Not poor Iris "Leave her alone" it was supposed to be a shout but her throat was sore from moaning and crying. She scrambled closer to the spot where Iris had hid and Ethan had found her. Sobs, cries, moaning, unconsolable screaming and an evil an evil laughter. These horrid sounds made a picture in Rayas head as she kept crawling towards them." Apparently period key is also borked and only works on occasion.
"More than you could ever imagen" Oy. "If you did rate it high and if you ahve time popp by my guestbook and leave a message." You really don't want to hear my comments. I promise.

Cliches: Of course the mistress is a blonde.

WTF?: Who goes swimming in capri pants? (Story not set in Victorian era, BTW, and they'd be scandalized at her bra top.) Protagonist looks bald and mindlessly happy in title image. Antagonist glamorized and given primary focus in title image.

Bad Writing: "She is my gardner and one day I hope I can blossom the way she does each day of her life."

Ignorance of Topic Discussed: There's no mention of anything that would not advance the simpleminded plot. No attempt to seek help finding the real parents of the foundling, no attempt to seek help from authorities, no attempt to remove self from abusive situation. It's all one big "this sure is a bummer, ho hum, oh well" plot.

Dramatizing the Horrible (Badly): Moral of the story: if you and your kid get beaten to death by a cheating abusive spouse, you get to play in a fancy garden forever and ever, amen.

Mitigating Factor(s): Author is Norwegian. Writes in English better than many Americans do. Also, am relieved that this was a one-off. The pain ends here.

Gut Reaction: Ugh. But I've seen worse. That is depressing enough.


REVIEW: "The hills have eyes"

Story/Plot (often mutually exclusive): As far as I can tell, mutants appear out of nowhere and bother a house full of stupid people. Someone burns (to death?) atop a loo. A truck gets stuck. This is very important. A crappy car is found. Yey? A lot of characters say "No!" Somehow, all is okay in the end. Not sure how that happened. Oh yeah...fiery mutant doom. No one thinks to look for or kick the charred corpses afterwards, so there is bound to be a sequel. Yawn.

Grammar/Spelling/Typos: Rife with!

Cliches: God, I don't know. I found the whole thing tedious.

WTF?:
Image: Stay away from me, you freak, while I grab your face and make out with you vigorously anyway.
Image: Lo, I am slain by a mutant, but I still dream of going to Uni one day.
Image: Lo, Bill is nearly slain, but he still wants to WooHoo! Image: Why is the red couch placed directly in front of the oven? Nice view!
Image: "But then Bill went to The bathroom and got burnt." Say what?

Bad Writing: (Insert entire story here.) My eyes!
"Bill:The took Hannah!" The what took Hannah?
Hank:"Wheres Bethanne?" Hannah:"she went to find Jen and Jon." Bill:"There in great danger!" and "Jon:"There dead."" Apostrophe abuse! Lack of Proper Capitalization! "There"? Make it stop!
"Jen:"im Gonnna kill em."" I hate this person. Seriously.
My eyes!!

Ignorance of Topic Discussed: No clue, haven't seen any of the "Hills" movies. Not my bag.

Dramatizing the Horrible (Badly): Funny-looking mutants. ROFFLE. Least traumatized Sims EVER.

Mitigating Factor(s): It loaded quickly on dial-up? I really had to reach for that one.

Gut Reaction: Yuck. Dumbassery. Also? Not especially scary, not enough FIGHT. Make me give a damn, next time...though I hope there is no 'next time'. But..ALAS...this person knows not when to stop. MOAR badness exists!

MINI-REVIEW
There's a Mrs. Crumplebottom story (The Crumplebottom Story, of course) that rips off Titanic.

Mitigating factors include some interesting stairs and slightly less horrible writing. ("Christina:"Im getting off the ship with you when we dock in new york." Christopher:"Your crazy Christina." Christina:"I know. i never realized it until i met you."" It's still awful, alas; but there were not five screens of characters saying little more than "No!" this time.)

The ocean is played by a flat, slate blue shag rug throughout this story for maximum lulz. Oh noes, we are going to drown in the carpeting! (It must actually be the 1970s, only then would the shag be deep enough to inspire that particular worry.)

Other lulzy stuff: Lots!
'Oh no, the blue carpet encroaches, very square and threatening!' Goodbye Papa Crump.
'Oh no, this whole ship will be gone in thirty minutes! Not sure how I know that, but isn't it horrible?' 'Oh yes, I am going to pause and reflect with you about how sad it is that this ship is going to sink. Instead of, you know, continuing to panic or looking for a way to survive.'
More terrifying blue carpet!
'Oh noez, I hope my mother doesn't find me! I'm not concerned about my loved ones at all! I'm perfectly content to sit here with you, strange boy I just met.'
The ending is another WTF, with 'Christina' deciding a minor tiff over snobbery is more important than trying to find her parents (and she somehow (is she psychic?) knows definitively that her father is dead), and since the writer failed to rip off any of the Titanic romance story, we aren't sure why 'Christina' is so into the steerage passenger she barely spoke to.
Dudes, he invites her to sit in his cabin, she says she can't stand first class anymore, and suddenly they are inseparable. (Also: 'cheap' booze in first class? Darlings, I should think NOT.) 
Lastly, 'Christopher' winds up (apparently) buried under a large buffet table in 'Christina' Crumplebottom's back garden. Whuh?

The same author 'delights' us with more masterworks.

MINI-REVIEW
JACKPOT!!!!oneone1! is short but not sweet. Girl goes to ugly all-wood-plank box of a convenience store, wins either 20 or 200 million dollars from MyShuno game, stands in a field for a while, stands next to a stove, talks to more people in a field, never gets money, the end. It's like a hit-and-run fishslapping. ('What just happened? I think it stunk, but it's all over now.') Writer promises there will be MOAR to come. Oy. I cannot bear to see if s/he carried through on this threat.

Couldn't watch any of the movies, which is probably a good thing, given that I care about my overall mental health.

Then my ded wuz not pastede on, yey, because my brain imploded from the badness. Fo' realz!

I need to go lie back down.

>.< .oO{WTF?!}

ETA: Reader-friendly spacing and a typo zorching.

These  may be almost run of the mill by the standards (?) set here, but they do have a WTF factor that make them worth avoiding if you value sanity:

Holy Tragedy: The Death of Sister Agnes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL2UnYXQlTU
Plot: A nun dies in various ways.  We see a running naked woman (the nun?).  Other nuns chirp like birds as they watch the dying nun.  Two nuns kiss, in what may be a flashback.  Message: Being a lesbian nun causes you to die horribly?


The Stepfather: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4LkGLfUlrw

Plot: Teenage girl is upset as she finds her very well endowed mother dancing (in a very funny way) for her Fabio clone lover.  The girl cries.  The mother's husband comes home and slouches around.  The girl falls in love with her step father, so they go away and the girl dances in her undies for him in front of a fire.  The mother's lover, for some unexplained reason, sets the mother on fire in her bed.  The step father proposes to the girl on the dead mother's grave.

"I should listen you" had a good conclusion: I want a normal life and to be a good mother, so I will dye my hair blonde. That'll solve everything.


I saw that one and decided not to enter it - I guessed it was someone showing off their sim. I figured the videos to be entered in this contest should at least attempt to be a story of some kind... Correct me if I'm wrong?

Added this one for the WTF factor http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgxAAu4K-_E it's 10 minutes long and features what can only be described an ADD Sim who flits from one activity to another, a howling dog, and two minutes of footage of a still computer. Shot with the walls down to the sound of various club tunes. Oh, don't forget the jerky camera angles and when some more Sims actually show up, the camera takes us to another part of the house with no activity. Just when you think it's getting interesting and you're going to see the Sim pee himself... he doesn't... When asked what his film was about, the poster replied "I don't know. The guy and his dog?"

xD Yep.

also "I should listen you" teaches you that if you don't listen to mom, you'll end up having sex with three ugly ass townies, and you'll have three ugly ass kids that you don't want.


wow that's fucked up. srsly.

What makes it is this comment someone left: " i dont get it when joel likes alex and lies a girl at the same time wierd".  Guess he/she never heard of a bi-sexual before. :)

The Stepfather: Why did Blond-Fabio burn down his lover's house?
Holy Tragedy: The Death of Sister Agnes: WTF? Lesbian NUNS??

The Diary of Loss and Pain is the most cliched story yet. In the beginning it says that if the cat died it would be the worst possible thing that could ever happen

My Entries (not the worst, but they're stupid stories):

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170873 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170873)

It starts with a bunch of naked people and moves on to strippers and blackmailing. More stupid than anything.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=171315 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=171315)

Just a bunch of pictures of a womans boobs. Why even make it?

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=171480 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=171480)

My Favorite. Feature rape and "rape kids".

I hope this hasn't been posted before, because I'm a huge fan of this person's work. (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=161898&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=whore&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)  Short stories, simple plots, but definitely Pulitzer territory if you ask me. 

And while not as good, I like this one too. (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=135841&asset_type=story&user_id=3516988)  Not as emotionally provocative as the first selection, but I think it delves into the human phyche on a philosophical level not reached by common literature.

I agree about the frog prince.  That's the version of the story that I'm showing to my children one day instead of the shitty happily ever after with a guy who's only feature is being hot and rich (which is enough and women should be grateful for that much!)  What is really funny is that I have been doing the same thing with the stars!  ;)

What got me about that one was the sheer technical badness, too.  I was trying to be distressed about the subject matter, but I kept thinking "why does that shot only show foundation?  Did the filmmaker just use maxmotives?  Is that little girl upset mostly because her sister is blocking the doorway?"

Also that when one of the sisters is telling the other one about her daddy's affair, the filmmaker clearly wanted to show the puzzle word bubble (as in "putting the pieces" together) but her first comment seemed to be "Daddy is a blockhead."

So far the rape one wins for me.  I was so grossed out I couldn't even finish watching it.  The Columbine one is tasteless but the offensiveness is a bit blunted by the sheer incompetence of its MS Paint blood.

And all of them have the WTF element of "Annnnd here we have a dramatic shot of. . . a sim sitting on the sofa, looking blank!"

PB

OH MY GOD

As soon as I saw them having sex in the shower, I just couldn't stop laughing... this movie is so ridiculous, and the serious music just makes it worse! And who kills their husband IN A SWORD FIGHT? (not to mention, where did HIS sword come from?)

Hooray! New siggie! Although the English is forgivable, because apparently the author is some girl from Estonia just learning English. Which explains the he/she pronoun confusion.

It's great not only that she dies her hair blonde in the end in order to become a good mother, but that she think the worst day in the world is when her mother marries an Indian/Black guy (whatever, it's S4).



Special.

Here are a few more masterpieces:
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=168003&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=sex&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=
Not offensive, as far as I can tell.  Convicted on 48 counts of utter boredom and idiocy.
Newlyweds have long-winded friends.  Everyone eats a lot.
But (gasp) husband is having affair.  Wife conveniently starves.  Husband marries gold-digging mistress.  Lots of woohoo.  Gold-digger is PREGANT!

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=168844&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=sex&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=
"This is my story on how I climbed to the top of the social ladder."
Ridiculously idealistic actress is ecstatic when she lands a commercial.  The carpool driver warns her that Marisa Bendett is evil.  Idealistic actress's husband kisses Marisa.  Idealistic actress sleeps with her agent.  Idealistic actress confronts husband about cheating; they had such a trusting marriage that she had security cameras installed to watch him).  Husband rapes actress.  Ooh!  It's a cliffhanger.
As an aspiring actress, I found this gritty depiction of the thespian life to be incredibly enlightening.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170275&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=sex&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=
We start in medias res.  Woman has an affair with husband's best friend.  Woman drinks lots of beer and eats pizza until she gets woozy and vomits.  Woman is pregnant.  "Honey, I'm pregnant," she explains to her husband, who is obviously thick enough not to notice the maternity clothes and the second trimester belly.  Of course, that could have been from the beer.  Woman apparently stays in kitchen for three to six more months, drinking beer.  Paramour telepathically knows it's his baby.  They sleep together.  Husband and wife sleep together.  Wife breaks up with paramour.  Paramour tries to rape woman.  Husband shoots paramour, wife thanks husband and admits affair, and everyone is happy.
I feel sorry for the baby.  Not only are its parents total idiots, but it's a born alcoholic.

Here's a story I found a few months back.

The Shea Family (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=152340&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=sex&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)
Very tl;dr, but humorous. Here's the gist: woman has a ton of sex with this one guy and gets four kids, but the guy won't take care of them. She asks mom to help her, but mom FORCES her to be with him and be his "slave." Kids and mom get beaten up and abused. Mom moves away. Then suddenly, they all die of the plague. THE END LOL

ThankyouThankyouThankyou!  ;D I haven't laughed so hard in ages.  She should have guessed it would end badly when her husband insisted on room dedicated to a sexbed. :D Contest over.

The 'These Foolish Games' one was rather good I thought. Apart from the stereotyping etc, I had no trouble following the plot. It's not anywhere near the class or technical competence of Brynne's movies, but not mockworthy.

OMG! So funny!



I always thought a ho is what you used for weeding your garden. Apparently I was wrong.

I don't really like this challenge much, I tend to only read the MATY stories and a few choice legacies. I ain't being a judge though, my head would explode.

A quote:

"Sam got a free crib, diaper changer, toys and high chair from the Pre-Marital Sex Accosiation, because she couldn't afford it."


The people who write these stories must be especially stupid, as opposed to normal stupid.

I nominate this one. A short yet heartwaming tale of the most famous manwhore in the sims2, don lothario.

BaddabingBaddaboom! (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=151102&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=manwhore&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

That quote really got to me too. I mean, what is the purpose of a Pre-Marital Sex Association anyways?  ???

Also, another quote:
That's an interesting way of describing an unexpected baby: a sex joke.  :P

I'd like to know how this got 5 stars?

The Legacy of Biker Grandpa- Chapter 1, Part 1 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=170161)

Choice quote:



 :D

Really, I would expect a Pre-Marital Sex Association would be giving out dildos, condoms, and the morning after pill instead of "diaper changers"


I admit, I'd give it five stars just for that line....

Same way most things on the Exchange get 5 stars... the rest of the flock vote for it.  ;D

Sounds like the arch nemesis of the Junior Anti-Sex League to me. ;)

...Hook?

I'd give them points for quoting Weird Al, but that's it, I'm afraid.  :P

I see your point about the main characters' skintones, but would like to hope it was just a 12 year old way to differentiate between them clearly rather than any racial comment.

I love the way the cheating husband's penis is a different skintone from the rest of him, making it look like he doesn't have one until you scroll back specifically looking. The sword fight murder is just silly, while the suicide with vomiting is... bizarre.

Oh! and the scene in the rain! Whatever did bad movie makers do before Seasons?!

See, I didn't actually think that was a bad video. Sure, the sims were doing the smustle, not the time warp... and there ARE dance hacks that enable you to set up your own dance routine. But it fit the music fairly well.

This, however, just made me want to puke. It's not even a good video - wtf is going on with all the high-speed smustling? Ugh.

And you didn't mention the fact that the woman is "ugly", and therefore spent the start of the video thinking she'd never find love. So obviously, having the rapist's  baby inflicted on her made all the difference. Blech >:(.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFkzsYOFDNg
Hey! I made that tub!  I'm famous!

This was just creepy.

You must be, because even without being able to easily see videos on dial-up, I am picturing the tub o' blood. That the one? :)

Gwill are WAY faymoose!

It is a darn cool idea, and no self-respecting vamp lair should be without the Bathory bath.  ;D

There's a friend of mine that refers to them as "fuck trophies"

Go Fat Gwilly People. :P

quote from Gwill

I have a 'monster mash' themed neighborhood-all the sim-citizenry lerve that tub.

quote from LordBanxter

charming.

This is going to be the most challenging contest to judge thus far. So many freaks, so little time. :P

I haven't even been clicking the links in this thread. I can suffer a lot of things, but bad simstories are not one of them! The descriptions written here are quite enough for me.

I was going to submit the worst I've ever managed to read enough of to know if it qualifies, but its main offense is just being staggeringly BAD, rather than actually having content that would be offensive even if the so-called author weren't a moronic teenager and had any prayer of writing her way out of a paper bag.

Aww, but now we're curious!

Because of the comic in the back of "the erotic book of fantasy" some of my friends now refer to them as "a critical hit".

Well, come on now, really I think that the biggest offense would be just being "BAD",  Is the reputation of MATY as home of the grammar nazi's for nothing?  ;)
What fun is an offensive story if it's not littered with misspellings and grammatical mistakes anyway? Then it's just plain scary...

Definitely a fumble.  :P

I am obsessed with Orwell, particularly 1984.  You made me giggle very loudly. 
Oh bother, now I have to find some horrific story in order to get away with this previously low content post.
(Runs to the exchange...20 seconds later)
Ok, this one is pretty bad.  The tag line for the story is "She almost married a man who raped a sixteen year old girl".  The "author" is kind enough to let us know that some of her characters are from other stories she has written, but (thank goodness) s/he assures us that we don't need to have read that story to follow this one.  Basically the main character meets a man through the gypsy, immediately woohoos him and OMG! now she's pregnant.  Then she tells him and he asks her to marry him, horray!  But then he steals some of her food and she tells him she will kill him so he throws food at her.  The best part is the amazing plot twist when (under the alter as they are about to get married) he tells her that he raped a 16 year old girl last year.  Oh, and by the way, she has twins  :o (suprise suprise). 
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=168207&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

This emotional tale of teen pregnancy features a stripper mom (who previous to this story was a pregnant teen who's husband tried to kill her, but don't worry now he's in jail).  This one just wins for the line "Sadly, all i could do was a fill-out-send-in pregnancy tester. I filled it out, and mailed it in."  What planet is this person living on?  I mean....just WTF?!  Oh yeah, she also experienced "severe child birth".  ::)
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=160652&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=pregnant+teen&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

None of these are really offensive, just completely clueless.
What kind of stripper works for minimum wage?

Why is every 'Mom' a stripper, a druggie, with an abusive rapist husband and a teen daughter who is pregnant through being raped (usually by her father but not always). They end up on the run from rapist/abusive husband then live happily ever after with rapist/abusive husband ::) You'd think some of these authors would at least try to be original.

I was wondering that myself...

Even more perplexing though, is how in the hell does the minimum wage "get them through"... ?


And I agree, most of these aren't really offensive, I mean besides the general offense of stupidity, but they are so much fun. I wish there was a permanent "Let's make fun of crappy stories" thread :)

Here's another WTF one... gosh I didn't have to look hard, thanks to the keyword "slut"
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=115865&asset_type=story&user_id=2241440
The best line in the whole thing though is this:
Olivia:Thats cool.The last aunt i had was a prostitute maid.

... which I find funny because isn't the whole point of being a prostitute so that you don't have to be a friggin maid?

...you're worried about them surviving on minimum wage when there're atrocities like severe childbirth or the following gem:


oh yes, a questionnaire has perfect accuracy!

Nevertheless, I'm impressed by the efficiency of both the mail service *and* the lab, with her getting the test results back the very next day ^^.

Ugh... and WTH the tombstone in room when the baby is born?

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=166846&asset_type=story&user_id=2241440

"A whore, a new wife, baby, and homosexuality." I feel ripped off- where's the homosexuality?

Me too-lets sign her/his guestbook to complain :D I love this quote:

Well, I guess it's nice to know he's a whole ass and not a half-ass.  ;D

I also would enjoy a permanent make fun of bad stories thread. 

An absolutely gripping read.  I knew this was going to keep me on the edge of my seat.  This one seemed like it was trying to be boring.
A Perfect Fate was just amazing.  I mean, it's like the "author" went out of the way to make the dialouge sound fake.  How could the writer not have noticed that *no one talks that way*?  At first I thought it must be written by someone who doesn't speak English as their first language, but then I noticed they were from the US.  Dammit!  We already have more than enough going on right now to make us look stupid, why are these people making it worse?!

"A whore, a new wife, baby, and homosexuality."

I vote this for best caption:

I was going to sign her GB, but I was laughing too hard at her bio, which reads like one of her stories.

I think other than the 'ass whole' line, my favorite part was:

"Dad:That's not fair.
Daughter:Love's not fair."

http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5355 (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5355)
I'd like to nominate this little gem from TSR.  The title alone is point-and-laugh-worthy: it's called "160 Degree Turn".   :D  The protagonist Kaliak (Leaky for short :D) finds out that her boyfriend of four months (his name is Justice-- oh the irony) has been hiding the fact that he has two daughters and a third baby on the way.  When Leaky confronts Justice for his dishonesty, he in turn confronts his baby-momma, questioning the paternity of the second daughter and essentially blaming the baby-momma for the whole mess.  I laughed out loud when I read this little snippet from the confrontation:


Bwahahahaha!  Yes, Justice really is implying that Kathy used his "seed" sometime after he "laied the pipe" [sic] in order to impregnate herself a second time.
(I wish there was a barf emoticon that I could insert here!)  A paternity test proved that Justice was not the father anyway, and all this talk of pregnancy by unconventional means was completely unnecessary.  In the end, all blame is placed on the baby-momma for being a psychobitch.  Leaky and Justice get married, while the still-pregnant baby-momma gets drunk at the wedding.  Classy.

An ugly, fat one?

LOL!! :D

My favorite quotes from the perfect fate1:


160 Degree Turn? Not a very big turn. And, Omg....there's like a prologue to the 160 degree turn!!

These really are page turning thrillers, aren't they?

Can we volunteer to judge? I'm loving this!

Best Quote from the Big Mistake (emphasis mine):

"Sure, whatever?" What are you 13 12? Oh, right...

as far as the next one goes- the mom is a STRIPPER, and yet when the girl gets pregnant, her mother kicks her out of the house?

All of these stories are making me want to do one about MY mom- a single mother who ISN'T a stripper, dependant on abusive boyfriends, addicted to drugs/alcohol, or struggling to make ends meet. Where are the stories about the single woman with a successful career and stable children, and who is doing quite well, thank you? Granted, it lacks MOAR DRAMA.

"Oh!" :D

I love romance sims.

"But if you dont find your self a couple of hoochie mamas, then you will die a very sad and lonely man." 

 ;D

It's too quiet in here, so I'd like to offer up this little gem: http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169356&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

Not only is there a random black-haired girl in the first panel that has nothing to do with the story, the rape count is through the roof, and it turns out this one man fathered 3 generations and yet still appears in his 30s or so.

ETA: why is there never a part 2? Well, part three is linked here. The teenage mom can't figure out how her son's name is spelled, and random teenage boys decide they want to kill babies, so she runs away, somehow able to afford a huge house in Maine despite being a teenage girl, where she is raped, yet again:
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169484&asset_type=story&user_id=3341429

Boy, they sure like rape over at the Exchange.

I think my favorite detail is the stealth 'raper' leaving a note:

Nah, no bother, happens all the time.

=) ?? love, Name withheld ?? WTH??

Moral of the story: nannies are unreliable?

not to mention the part you left out  ::):

Maybe it a Japanese story. I recall a poster of how "Raping in Japan is like saying Hello!".

This reads like a Jerry Springer episode.  Evadentally.  ;)


Finally some realistic dialouge!


So let's review EA policy...You can't talk about sim's toilet behaviors, inteen, "adult" mods or objects, or rape mods or anything even remotely related on the BBS.  But you can use as many of them as you'd like to create your story which you can share on their exchange.  Discussion of these topics would apparently raise the almighty T-Rating of the game, but taking photographs and depicting incestual rape that leads to teen pregnancy is ok and won't raise said rating?  And if it's graphic you might even get a 4 star rating!!!11!!!!one   ::)

After reading all these (very much alike) stories, I have the impression that there must exist a "Construction Kit for Crappy Stories" somewhere:

Hi! My name ist <INSERT NAME HERE>. I want to tell you my sad story.

This is my mom, <INSERT NAME HERE>.

She's a

[ ] stripper
[ ] slut
[ ] alcoholic drinker
[ ] pot addict

(choose at least one)

This is my father, <INSERT NAME HERE>. He beats mom every day. Also, he

[ ] beats
[ ] abuses

(and) rapes me every day since I've been a 

[ ] child
[ ] teenager

(choose only one)

Mom was too

[ ] afraid
[ ] indifferent     (removed due to complicated spelling)

to help me.

Then, it happened. My stomach hurled.
OMG, Im pregnant.
OMG, twinz!!!!!1

This is my son, <INSERT COMPLICATED NAME YOU CAN'T SPELL/REMEMBER>
and my daughter <INSERT [MOM'S NAME] HERE>. I named her after my mom.

PLZ rate high!!!!!1111eleven

omg, twinz  ::)

I'd been going to say this story's not that bad - it featured the words "exciting" and "exuberant", spelled & used correctly! But then it degenerated. There's also a Part 2 and Part 3, progressively more unbelievable.

This one is so bad I have nothing to say about it. I mean, it's just nondescript bad.

Edit: Woohoo, I finally found the homosexuality. It's in Part 6 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=167709&asset_type=story&user_id=2241440). (For some reason, this story exists in Parts 1, 3, 4 and 6. And there's a huge time interval between Parts 3 & 4 with most of the characters being killed off in an unexplained way ::).)

Hot quotes:
Beth:I love this place.Its so much more YOU.
Ape:Thanks Beth.Sam seems to like it.
Beth:Is it a bit girly though...you know, for David.
Ape:David is a bit girly himself.
Beth:Gay?
Ape:Yeah.Hes a 15 year old who likes the hotdog more then the taco.What can i say.
...
Dav:Hello mother.
Ape:Hey David.Are those my jeans?
Dav:Yeah.Sorry i borowed them.But i needed something easy to take off.
Ape:*laughs*It seems as though you and your mans relationship has taken off.
Dav:I guess.But im looking in the fish pond for a new man.An older one.
Ape:How much older?
Dav:5 years.
Ape:Then he will be 22.
Dav:That is so hot mom.Im 17 now.....In a year ill be legal to date a 22 year old
...
Dav:Wow Sam.....that is fabulose.What is it?
Sam:Thank you.Its Bethovens 13th symphony.
Dav:Its realy good.
Sam:Whats wrong?You seem a lot less gay then usual.
Dav:Me and my man candy are having a bit of disagreement in the bedroom.Nothing you need to know about.
Sam:Whatever.

 ::) ::) ::) ???

Also nondescript bad, and coincidentally, by the same author as the last one!  ::)

Ha! Oh man... the girl's father also raped her grandmother and her grandmother's girlfriend, and her mother... and then killed some of the kids, and adults. Wow  :o.

Classic quote:
This is Daniel. I met him at the supermarket yesterday. We really hit it off. We actually fell in love to the point that he asked me to marry him! We are both teenagers and he is fine that I have a kid and that I am possibly pregnant!

The author is so 12.

sloppyh.w.: That is hysterical! *makes note to use when constructing any parodies on the future*

baratron: ROFFLE! (She reads the poo, so you don't have to!)

Man, that hotdog/taco metaphor was a winner.

You know, I read this as the GRANDMOTHER being the child of the dad. Interesting that the story has a part 1 and a part 3 but no part 2. Perhaps she slipped up and mentioned the inteenimator?

I think that this is how we should respond whenever a gay member of MATY is having a bad day.  This is just too funny.

I now offer my own heaping helping of crap:

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=135358&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode= (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=135358&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)
Let's go through the check list shall we?
1. plot line is so 12 year old it's not even funny (not that it was funny to begin with). Check.
2. Rape. Check.
3. Girl FREAKING FALLS IN LOVE with the guy who rapes her. Check.
4. It's part of a "series". Check.
5. Bad photo taking (walls down, etc.) Check.

What a gem.  ::)

FireFlyNine: priceless  :P.


Inquiring minds want to know...

The Sims2 CD: 20.00$
Subscriptions to a dozen crappy paysites: 50.00$ a month
MSPaint Program: Standard on most computers
Putting together a story so horribly 12ish that only a MATY contest could love it: Priceless  ;D

There are some things money can't buy, like readable spelling. For everything else, there's the star buttons.

Ahhh, young men, they come on the way to your house and still have enough energy to rape you!

an afterthought:


Does anyone else think that this sentence sums up the whole friggin rape obsession these 12 year-old-have? They have it pounded into thier heads DON'T HAVE SEX! (which I guess is a good thing?)  But then there is puberty, and they naturally get horny, and the only way they could possibly be able to be having sex is to be raped... no they'd never do it willingly....  ya know what I mean,... pardon my rambling...

Khaki, you made me smile.  :D

After thought to Khaki's after thought:
Bingo.
What you just said pretty much sums up what has been pounded into the head of every kid in my school district. At lest my year of kids got the "all things in moderation" into them before they crakced down on that too. Can you belive they are telling kids from Wisconsin never to drink? BS, your from WISCONSIN, it's against the law ot to drink.

I hope he used a condom?  WTF?  Like you wouldn't notice him pausing to put one on before he raped(?) you - and if it was really rape surely there's an opportunity to escape while he's putting it on ...

Hey Kyna I noticed your siggy and clicked it but was wondering something
Ok, I'm confused, and I'm really not trying to nitpick, but am I the only one who noticed that the word should be unintelligible? Is that part of the joke?  ???
either way it's hilarious and points out the errors that spellchecks can't catch!

eta: I posted here cuz I didn't want to bring the Father Jebediah thread back...

That's one of the reasons why I wanted to pinch it.  Also to poke fun at my own posts which are sometimes not very coherent.

That last story is a gem. As well as the other lines already mentioned, there's "He grad me and started to make out with I like it .But I know that was going to lead to the bed." ... "So I get up he told to go to the bedroom and get on the bed.And I said ok." .... followed by "Then he be came closer to be and............................................ He raped me I did not want this to happen but I fell so in love with him", ending with "That night I gave him a goodbye kiss.But why did I just kiss He just rape me oh my bad."

Oh my bad! I just kissed a guy I fell in love with when he raped me!

I think when this challenge ends we still need an awful stories thread.

That one was priceless. I mean, at what point in the proceedings did she actually say "no"? And the condom line made me spit coffee all over the place.

...no, he did not. You invited your horny boyfriend over to your house, made out with him, then, giggling, ran to the bedroom and disrobed. The word you want is "fucked". Seriously, replace "rape" with "fuck" in every case and you have an accurate story.

"I have a boyfriend who likes to fuck girls"
"He fucked me"

what, are these all the nutso kind of feminist, running around trying to say that "all sex is rape"? (no offense to the feminists here, unless you believe that all sex is rape, in which case, feel free to be offended, since you're batshit anyway ^^).

Yeah I was gonna say that the intro description to the story should have been
"Here is a story about a girl who lost her virginity"
instead of
"Here is a story about a girl who got raped"

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174870&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=

that one caught my eye for being "one of the best storys i ever rote". Not overly offensive, but.... I'm inclined to believe the author on that point.

ows..... the misspellings - they hurt my brain -  ows... the punctuation too!

That story has no rape! I'm disappointed! But really that plot was actually something somewhat original... I love how the stepmother beat her the whole time she (the stepmother) was in labor...

My favourite part of that story was the apology for the spelling mistakes. Don't apologise! Fix them!

Well, apparently on the crazy planet that these "writers" come from there is no such thing as spell check.  And periods are only things that you miss after being raped until you give birth to twins. 
I definitely feel that making fun of bad exchange stories needs to become a staple of MATY culture.  We could do this forever, I suspect.

Here's a fun one:  http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174842&asset_type=story&user_id=1926615
 It also starts with a disclaimer about misspellings. No rape, but a cheating father who apparently moves his hoochie into the family home. The hoochie gives birth to one(!) child at the end and here is the text:


It's nice of the author to let us know that he wasn't really born at 3:47 on 4/7/07 but that he does, in fact, weigh only 5 lbs 7oz.

Well, you can't be too careful about posting your personal details on the BBS. You might get stalkers!!!!oneoneone.

The first picture blinded me with hot pink and bright blue fury, but I did regain my sight just in time to notice this.  Anyone else see something a bit strange in the background right?

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/42/174842/snapshot_93ad123f_b3ad278a.jpg)

The phone in the middle of the shot just makes it...very postmodern.   ::)

That is very funny, especially as the accompanying text makes no reference to death-worshipping early-developer babies.

To me, this story has "I finally found out about the 'change appearance' option" written all over it ;D



Waaaahahahahahaha *rollsonthefloor*

You palstic idiot!I knew you were going to do somthing to ruin my family!

BTW, what's with the pregnate everywhere, it seems to be the most common way of spelling pregnant, but it's not even pronounced that way.

Cora Blood was clearly a "I have no idea how Cameraman mode works, but this is soooo artistic!"
I was actually liking the first one until I saw the two guys. Then I closed it.
I am now far too scared to do a search of my own...
And the sad, sad fact of it all...
People who can write and do decent stories get buried under metric SHITtons of this stuff.
One simmer I know closed up shop and stopped posting because shit like this was getting 5 stars, and her decent, rather original Legacy story got a maximum of 2.35 stars.
I know why - can we say "massive circle jerk"? I'll bet you 50 Simoleans that most of these kids know each other IRL or through MySpace, and of course, everybody rates everybody else's 5 stars.
Gag me with a reticluated spline. >:(

I think some people just don't enunciate clearly, and the result is that the 'n' in 'pregnant' is dropped during speech, so the word ends up sounding like 'pregnate' or 'pregnut.' The dimwits have obviously only heard this mis-pronounced version of the word (probably due to sex education being removed from school curricula), and never seen it written, so they make up their own spelling based on the erroneous pronunciation. After all, I would hardly expect somebody who writes so poorly to be well-read enough to have seen the correct spelling somewhere, certainly not in a *gasp* book. Then again, books tend to use euphemism instead of clinical terms, so it's entirely possible that the little darlings only know how to spell 'expecting' (though this is highly unlikely, since I doubt that they read at all).

Yes, I am being a bit sarcastic, but only a bit.

Trolling the bowels of the exchange for low-rated stories, I came across this gem (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=114675&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=&order=RATING+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=). No rapes, but everyone dies of cancer. The thing that makes it super-awesome is not the blurry pix (although they are dreadful), but the fact that the story is backwards. Ordering snapshots is tricky, folks!

i realize i'm late, but has anyone looked at this guy's website? LOL. he has pornographic pictures of himself scattered about and looks suspiciously like openhousejack.

I just learned that there's no story so bad that a bunch of random swears and lame "jokes" about eating bodily fluids can't make it worse. I bet this (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=64267&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=&order=RATING+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)  was written by a 12-year-old boy.

I think "My LIfe: A Youri Stevenson Story" has the worst spelling so far.

I hope these people aren't really twelve. By the time you are twelve, you should be familiar with the basics of grammar and punctuation. And these kids clearly aren't.

You know, do they think the kid caught cancer from the mom? They mentioned "and it was spreading"...

And I love how everyone assumes hair loss is a side effect of cancer. Not a word about chemo but the chick goes bald.

what on earth was the point?

Just... ....


I feel threatened.

I thoroughly enjoyed that story and the music. I loved the costumes of the four fairies/furies/whatever and even the synchronised dancing. Just a lovely light fairy story. The funny bits were him wearing just knickers at the end instead of something decently alien and her for waiting so long and only getting a tease for her pains.

Brilliant quote from the link posted by Rohina: Eugene also wants some of the money, in hopes to buy himself a house shaped like a rainbow, with two gay midgets at the end of it. The writer certainly has imagination!  :D

It's precious!
""Eugene also wants some of the money, in hopes to buy himself a house shaped like a rainbow, with two gay midgets at the end of it.""

I love how in these stories the pregnant teen/daughter/mother/mistress/babymomma are dressed to the nines in cc, but the abusive father/boyfriend/rapist/babydady, have to wear maxis made crap.
I find this quite funny.  ;D

omg. whatwillhappen nExt? stay tuned for pt2. plz rate.

I love those ones where they say "if you sign my GB, I will write part 2". And I have to grip the desk to prevent myself from clicking on their icons.

I have an image of you signing their guestbooks with a brutally honest critique ... and them being stupid enough to write part 2 for you to read and review.

Not exactly offensive,  but I think, this (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=22497&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=violence&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=) story belongs to the WTF category nevertheless.

Well, at least it featured (mostly) correct spelling.  It was... um... "special".



ROFL.

Umm...okay.... I thought the phone was already dead? That story disturbs me. Or rather the author who thought of that.

It's the lies that are so hurtful. There is no toilet story! I cried tears of bitter disappointment.

5 stars for sure.

Here's one I find entertaining...
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=160212&asset_type=story&user_id=3575580
Titled "You'll Never Fail Making the Right Choices"
Description:  A story about saying no to drugs, alcohol, lying, and running away.

If only I'd read this story when I was 14, oh my life would have been so different.  ::)

...bodies can clot?!


...really? Then why is it "bad"?

lying is bad, mmk?

What gets me is how talking to a trusted adult is supposed to help the girl who wants to run away. Hello, her father is STILL an abusive drunk, even after she's had a nice chat.

5. "How much does it cost?"


Phew!  I thought they were really drug dealers!  It makes me feel a lot better to know that they were just acting!  Especially that Jason kid, he seemed to know a little *too* much about drugs...
Also, why can't she take care of more than 7 sims for long enough to write a story?  Is the lot filled with those things that shoot flames from the ground?

Sounds a bit RL to me.

That quote (points up) was my favorite, followed by "Anyway, sorry if i CONFUSE you." in the last SING MY GB RATE HI PLZZZ!!!!! slide.

(writing like that is harder than it looks.)

YIKES! I wish I hadn't gone to that website.  Couldn't finish watching the video either, because the song was making my head implode.  I realize I could have turned off my speakers, but the agony made me reach for the quickest fix.  Exit.

Okay...It's time for a heart wrenching, tear jerker of a confession...
I can't be the only one who remember this song, right?  It's the Spice Girls.  I know this because I was 12 at the time (real actual 12) and.....and....I can't say it!

I may have gone to one of their concerts and been a huge fan...But I swear it was nothing more than my burgenoning lesbianism being fueled by the promise of skantily clad women dancing!

::hysterical sobs::

After reading several of these a few days ago, I died. It may have been from Asphyxiation from laughing too hard, or from an Aneurysm, brought on by the mangled and apparently oft-raped (and it liked it and had twins!!oneeinzuno!11) English language. Not sure.

Due to Applied Phlebonium and Unobtanium, and someone shaking feathered rattles and glitter over my deadness (here is where a picture of an emoticon with X_x eyes and a tongue lolling out would go if I were not so damn lazy), and bribery of Grim, I returned.

Alas, my browser sent me right back to the same tab that slew me before.

Lo, the badness! Set phasers on Red Pen!

P.S. I do have to say that I'm both glad and surprised no MATY weisenheimers nominated Father Jerkwad's tangentially Sims-related trollery for worst story, though. For sheer goatse points, it probably wins.

*pats Invisigoth on the back*
It's okay, your not the only one. Me and my sister BEGGED my mom for the movie when I was 12. (Thank god we grew out of the Spice Girls right?)  ;)

Actually once you get over the use of the term rape (which obviously means something quite different to this girl) this scene is actually really cute, in a sort of awkward budding adolescent way.  It's obviously details a 13 year old sexual fantasy.  The details are kinda sketchy as she  is not quite sure what goes between the making out before and the kissing after.  Lol, were we ever this young ?

The bit about the guy who knocked up 3 generations of women is kinda weird though.  Where did that come from.

I agree the awful story thread needs to continue.  I haven't laughed this hard in ages.  And I didn't even click on most of the links!.

Although I think we should also have an Awesome Story thread.  As someone pointed out, good stories are so drowned out by the crud they get lost.  It's hard to find them.  Beside, we need good stories to wash the bad taste out of mouth, after reading this.

The problem is that good stories tend to be long and involved, because people keep wanting more. Wheras bad stories are short hit-and-runs, I can skim 3 or 4 in about 5, 10 minutes between slides in class

It was discussed, but he is ineligible on a technicality - i.e. the story was still being written after the contest was announced.

Sorry for the double post, but I had to share.

Swears! (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=175784&asset_type=story&user_id=2787639) and Poison! and Bad Spelling!

"Okay, What the hell. Are you from like planet stupid?"

Heh, I loved the categories:


The only tragedy is that this saw the light of day.

Here's one about a family owned whorehouse.... It might be my favorite one so far.  A whopping 83 entries in this story, 90% of them useless. But the rest are a riot.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=134942&asset_type=story&user_id=3159432

That one's a hoot!

"Mimi: (mumbled) Whatever
Kris : (mumbled) Bitch"

hehe....

 ;D ;D ;D

I cannot believe that piece of excrement had 4 stars! Which of you have been love-rating? CONFESS!!!!!

I must say that the "interview" where the madam had to read over the girl's resume a second time was priceless. Do you think whores are guilty of resume-padding?

But this one was so funny and original!  And OH NOES!  I can't take the cliffhanger ending!  When will there be a part two!?!  They've got a murdress in their midst!  ::panics and loots the forum::

You managed to read the entire thing? I'm impressed. My brain went OW after the "interviews".

So far the only one I haven't been able to finish was the Columbine one.  I think that for the purposes of the actual contest that one was the clear winner.  But let's just keep doing this forever anyway.  It's fun!  They make me giggle and then I can rate the story as "horrible" and pull down the four or five star rating that they all seem to have.

My first (frist) thought was that Papa and Mama at 87 and 72 seemed hella old to have an 18 year old daughter...
How many photos does it take to get an ugly girl to her whore interview?
Correct Answer: 0, just skip to the part where the used up whore is laughing her head off because an ugly girl thought she could get paid to woohoo.

That the captions could range between pleasant use of spaces, capitals and accurate spelling to 'kitty on my keyboard' (and often on the same page) blew my mind and though I quietly hate that, I became intrigued and found myself looking for a pattern.

Are there underlying clues to be gathered from the so-random-it-must-be-deliberate use of caps? (I thought so when she said 'Daughter Named Whatever but everyone calls her mimi, sort of like, the girl was less worthy of a Proper name once she'd joined the 'biz')
Then I wondered if it was a Shared Story concept, where one would try to create an interesting panel only to find their stupid friend had cheated and just threw in another door shot.


the possibilities are far more interesting than the story itself

How can a story about a whorehouse be so fucking boring?

Boring? What do you mean? There were job interviews! And bitching about who got the purple bunny suit!

Oh God, this whole thread is just hilarious. It's amazing how almost... obsessed the kiddies over at exchange are with rape, incest and teen pregnancy, and it seems many barely know what happens or how to discover the pregnancies. Poor kids. :P Some of them are just... wtf? and some are highly disturbing. What *is* it with the almost, trivialisation of rape and incest? I suppose I can get wanting to know more about the subjects... but, writing a stupid story about it where the girl gets pregnant with "ZOMG!!! twinz!!111eleventyone"? It seems these kids almost think along the lines of "look, rape is teh funnehz! LOLZ!!!"

I submit This story. (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=140558&asset_type=story&user_id=3575580) It's isn't particularly offensive more than it is stupid. The cool thing is, the girl and her boyfriend continously have sex outside the house on a bed, and the mother doesn't notice that there's a double bed right outside, or hear her daughter and the daughter's boyfriend having sex. Also, biological errors! Feeling crampy and then going to the hospital to take a pregnancy test? Um... if cramping is a sign of pregnancy, I've been pregnant thousands of times and didn't even know it! :o
Some choice quotes:
"Oww." said Gina. Suddenly, Gina heard noises from outside. She cleaned herself up, and went outside.

Right, because, it's not as if she'd notice a double bed right outside her door, with her daughter and the boyfriend having sex in it, ever!

When Gina went outside, she couldn't believe her eyes. "Oh my god!" said Gina in surprise. They were playing a game of Tonsil Hockey! And it was getting to be violeant.

Violeant? What's that? A weird variation of violence? It's so violent, it's violeant! Also, tonsil hockey? What self respecting adult would actually refer to french kissing as tonsil hockey?

God, I just can't understand how people can have such little knowledge of spelling and grammar, just, how?

This one wins the prize for horrible exposition. Love the violation of the "show, don't tell" rule.

"I know we have had this discussion before, but I need to get this off my chest. You're way to young to be dating!" replied Gina, the mother. Lilly said nothing, but you could see what she WOULD say from the expression on her face."

See, that's classic exposition, there. But then, in the next frame, she does answer!!!!

SLUTSSSSSS, Romance,Short Story,Old Guys, pRETTY GIRL

hahha sound spreds REALLY FAST
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169523&asset_type=story&user_id=3859242

Meet the Carrson Family (But not everyone is a Carrson ) - what's wrong with that - bit of mystery here right at the beginning.

Mama: not to be rude, but are you sure you are in the right place, i mean you seem like your going to a different kind of interview
Kris: like what, a biz lady job - and style - yep, Kris wants to be better than a 'corner hoe'

Now this is trash-talking!

As fast as sound waves d'you reckon?  :D

What a beautiful story, it just warmed my heart! :D

Ya know - I always did find it amusing that whenever sims 'WooHooed' in public, they got cheered, even by shop staff, instead of being kicked out of the store/arrested. :P

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/42/134942/snapshot_12a3ecd5_12a42215.jpg)
Flashing accessory alert.

Not to mention the, um... LOVELY décor. I know I certainly use tiger-striped wallpaper in my home-office for that Las Vegas brothel feel.

I haven't been able to bring myself to peruse the Exchange for this garbage. I'm sorry! Please don't make me! :'(

I do, however, appreciate the efforts of the contributors. :D I've never laughed so much in my life. ;D

Stupidity is the worst (best?) offense.

  Oh that dirty dirty appreciating!!

I love how the authors of these stories can't seem to break out of "simdom" - Sex is WooHoo-ing.... even in brothels...even outside on the sidewalk.. even in public...  ::)



  No, no I wouldn't. Because when I used to slut it up like that, I was on drugs.

I actually think this was written by a child aged 10 or under. The spelling is too bad for a 12 year old. So this makes me wonder if the child's parents know s/he is loose on the internet.

I've been wondering what's up with the use of women for one person. Can't get over how many of the stories think that "women" is the singular (e.g. talking about the evil stepmum, "I really hate this women"). I haven't noticed this happen with "man" and "men", so it seems rather strange to me.

:o

I'm dead from laughing at "Your fruity ass should be the last one talking about ass sex, damn rainbow faggot!!". Totally rating that 5 stars now :P ;D.

I don't think this was written by a 12 year old boy - I think it was written by someone who's recently watched "Chasing Amy" and thought that Chris Rock's character Hooper X was a real person. Also, I'm certain that straight men don't call each other "Bitch", which means that Double-D is protesting too much. Shame that Chapter 2 is no longer there, or never got put up ;).

Who's judging this thing? I think we need several categories of horrors, e.g.:
1) Most Offensive Spelling And Grammar in a Story
2) Most Number of Rapes Per Chapter
3) Most Utterly Offensive Plot in a Story or Video
4) Most Gratuitously Wrong Video For The Song It's Set To

There are probably other possibilities.

I think the "best" of them all is ThE sToRy Of MiSs>mOuSe!1!1!1 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=83059&asset_type=story&user_id=1804721), which features entries such as:
Then dAdAdsfbmkdl Dididididided and vgfaljflkcv klcfkfd then ghjdzh bit his kfejgods leggggg kofdjgifld mke;sjgkfldsknfdgklgd and drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaged him INSNSNfngnjf in

Apparently, Ok do not ask about the story please me and michelle were BORED out of our minds!. But I agree with eevilcat - definitely on something more hallucinogenic than coke.

Is it me, or does the "Nicole" sim look like a 60 year old woman who's had tons of plastic surgery in an attempt to stay "looking young". Like the Bride of Wildenstein.

The first "story" has a plot, sort of. But the second one doesn't even begin to make sense! "They" did this and then "they" did something else? I couldn't even figure out the relationships of the people to each other!

Wow :o. You found some impressively bad junk, LK.

I love the way this starts out as a happy story - the woman is married to a handsome husband and they have two children (twins, of course). And then it suddenly goes wrong in a bizarre, over-dramatic manner, completely out of sorts with the characters as they've been portrayed thus far.

Also, I believe you have it wrong - she didn't have cameras installed in the house, but instead camras. What the Campaign for Real Ale (http://www.camra.org.uk/) has to do with the story, I don't know. 

Sadly, this "asset" has been deleted. I weep.

Also deleted, *sob*.

What a cheap beginning - starting with the premade shots that come with the game! Notice how the quality of photography goes down as knattu4life starts taking the photos - they become fuzzy, with walls randomly down. Also, the text accompanying them is classic:

nina then puts her hand on a certain place of mine and we soon do the duty...

inking below my pants...is achievement

Oookay ???.

That's because it's also backwards.
I've never experimented with the story thing much, but I have noticed that when you add another picture to a story it goes to the top of the list when it seems like it should go on the bottom of the list.  I've never checked to see what order they go in if it's actually uploaded, but I'm assuming that bit of confusion is the cause of these weird stories.

The best part is how the story ends:


I was really looking forward to that story guide, but it looks like she gave up on it. What a shame!

Perhaps she used up killed off all of her brain-cells writing bad stories.

LOL A++ thread
when july is over keep doing this please
this is freakin amazing haha, my favorites are the viva forever music video and the whorehouse story, as well as the story with the random unexplained satanist-baby in the background

here's someone attempting a "fantasy" story with a craptastic MS paint coverpage:
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=173936&asset_type=story&user_id=1634679
and there's 4 parts. o:


WHAT IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY.

Wow frivolous, excellent find! I have no idea what the story is about, but still it's excellent. That green woman sure did come out of nowhere.  :o
My fave line from that one is:

and and what's what's with with the the double double words words?

Pointing out the obvious has always been one of my favorite stylistic devices.


LOL, witch ;D

Don't you see the deeper meanings here?


Clearly this isn't just a whorehouse, it's a whorehouse for the mentally retarded! Giving poor retarded women (and a man) jobs so they can earn a living, as well as free room and board! Papa must have felt so caring towards his poor retarded wife that he opened this place for other retards!

ETA:

no, I think she'll give birth to an adult cow.


...does that have ANYTHING to do with the slides prior to and after it?

Oh, I see, it's forshadowing. Badly. WTH? With an entire forest to be in, she decides she has to sit in the one spot that's occupied? sheesh.

It also contains one of my pet peeves, using the word 'quiet' instead of 'quite.' *goes postal*

I actually almost liked this story (compared to the others, anyway). The spelling and punctuation was terrible, but no one is raped and it was almost interesting. It kept making you think something would happen, although nothing ever did. Or maybe I was too hopeful? Still, more creative than the stuff we've seen so far.

BUT her fiance's name is GEPTO. What kind of name is that?!

Last letters left in the scrabble tray?
A personal bet?
Sympathy for previously underused letters in the story?
 :D

This last one made me think of Waiting For Godot.  I think that a lot of people think that if they write something disjointed where nothing actually happens then it will seem really deep and intense.  Possibly because they missed the point of Godot.  Or maybe they've never heard of Godot and I'm giving this writer way too much credit.  It felt like it was trying to be riddled with significance, though.

Yet another father rapes daughter, and omg she's pregnant. Not as good as some of the others, but it has rape so it must be good.
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=176361 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=176361)

The Youri Stevenson sequel, not as good as the original, but if you couldn't sleep not knowing what happened- here it is.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=176306 (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=176306)

The Whorehouse story was hilarious. My favorite parts included, but are not limited to:

Well, my cousin is in this line of work and the money is great for her, but shes a corner hoe and i dont want to be in that kind of danger
She's a murderer, couldn't she handle the street corner just fine?

Mama : she went ghost
I think Mama likes cartoons.

I think the use of the word 'hoe' (a garden tool) in lieu of the word 'ho' (slang for whore) really gives it that special something.

Y'know, if I were pregnant from rape and incest the absolute LAST thing on Earth I would be thinking is "gee, now what do I name the baby? Oh, I'll name it after the rapist"


Actually, I'm a little concerned about this story-
Do you think any of these could be based on real abuse?

It reminds me of that excellent episode of Corner Gas where the town committee wanted them to build a giant hoe as a landmark. Lots of jokes about a great big dirty hoe.

And sorry about the spelling mystakes in joy.

 :D

I suspect many are - or from garbled accounts they've heard from other kids at school.

I think once upon a time, someone wrote a rape story in sims. It was daring, it was edgy, it was cutting-edge, it toyed with the perceptions as a kiddy game while being tasteful. In short, it rocked.

That story was deleted, but not before 3 12-year-olds saw it. In an effort to top it, they pushed the limit: now it was incest-rape!

Those were deleted, but not before a dozen 12-year-olds saw them. They had to top it! They had to get more extreme! Incest-toddler-rape! Twins! Extreme childbirth!

soon every 12 year old on the BBS thought these were normal stories, the kind you're supposed to be telling. They lost the ability to come up with original stories and just copy each other.

Considering that so many of the 12-year-olds writing these stories seem to have a very romanticised view of rape (the victim falling in love with the rapist), I think they just have no idea what the term 'rape' actually means. It doesn't help that many films and cheesy romance-novels perpetuate the myth that 'no' really means 'yes' and that the woman being raped secretly likes it, especially if the rapist is a hunk. Bleurgh.

Literotica.com is full of similar stories, just not in sims. Every rapist there apparently goes in through the window, ties the girl up and threatens her to keep her quiet, then pleasures her with his fingers and tongue until she comes, then penetrates her and goes slowly and gently till she comes again, then by that time she's madly in love with him and begs him to come back tomorrow night. At least there're no twins.

Yes, it seems like "rape" = "getting talked into sex".

Right, it's rape if you regret giving in.

I was thinking more along the lines of - they've all taken chastity pledges, but if it's rape, it doesn't count.

I'm a huge fan of romance novels (junk food for the mind), but the "He raped me, but now I love him" ones make me want to vomit. At the first mention of that kind of storyline it's off to the swapping site.

I think the rape/sex thing has something to do with the way a girl's body suddenly mature so fast it overtakes the mind.
It's often been my impression that boys seem to crave sex before they're actually able to perform, while girls still has an idea about sex being something you do solely to reproduce long after their groin is screaming for action.  In combination with social conventions that proclaim that good girls don't do that sort of thing, you get seriously confused young women.  Basically, I think 13-year-old girls want sex, but what they don't want is a sex partner; they don't want sex with anyone in particular, just the sensation of sex.  It's been a while since I was 13, but I seem to remember this feeling, although I wouldn't have been able to articulate it at the time, and now my memory is too faded to do it justice.
And when certain countries, which shall remain unnamed, limit sex education to "abstinence is the only way to avoid pregnancy", said girls will believe that every unprotected intercourse will inevitably result in at least one baby.
It's well documented (to the shame and denial of feminists everywhere) that many women fantasize about rape.  I have no idea why that is, but I do know that fantasizing about rape does not in any way mean that women want to be raped.  It's just a tool to get the mind in the right gear.
As for falling in love with the rapist; I have no idea what that's about.  I can only attribute it to virgins not understanding sex, and certainly not rape.  I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it understands rape; I know I don't.

And let's not forget that women are taught from a very young age that they are supposed to be passive. They are bombarded almost from birth by stories of Prince Charming coming to rescue the hapless princess from her tower (as opposed to the princess using her wits and skills to solve her own problems). Women are expected to remain passive, especially when it comes to their own sexuality. I think that women fantasise about rape because they don't want to take responsibility for their own urges and desires (it's somehow less 'dirty' when somebody forces it on you). I agree that this sort of thinking makes for some very confused young women.

Maybe women fantasize about rough sex or having an agressive partner and classify it as rape. I can't imagine wanting to be dragged into an alley, beaten until I can't move, and raped by some psycho.

I love a good rape fantasy: I'm both rather sadistic and enjoy the image of a helpless girl beneath me (as when I read/watch good rape erolit/porn, I identify a lot with the man) as well as being rather controlling and dominating (so rape play, for me, is a way to force myself to let go and be the sub for once). However, I've a good healthy fear of actual rape, and nothing but disdain for these retarded stories which both glorify and retard the idea of rape fantasy all at once.

anyway, I'm sharing because I can give some idea of what, for me at least, the turn-on is. However, even being turned on by rape... these stories make me sad in my pants. They almost seem more like my friend who has a pregnancy fetish (*shudders*).

 :-XHere is another rape story. ::) I think the singer should sue this warped moron
The Rape of Amy ~~~ Amy Winehouse is a new resident to Driftwood, and his brutally raped and attemptedly murdered. (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=158053&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

That one doesn't come close to any of the previous rape stories.  It's a dull cliché of a story, but it's unmistakably rape, not sex.  It's neither as offensive or as blatantly clueless as any of the previous rape stories.

You know, what I'd really like to see now is just a single story of attempted rape.  I wasnt to see the victim fight off her attacker and narrowly get away.

Attemptedly murdered?

That's what I was thinking. The most offensive part of that is the use of the word 'attemptedly.' On the plus side, if it was, in fact, a word, they would have at least spelled it correctly.

Oh yes, and there's also the part where she dreamily wonders if she's pregnant before she "realizes" that the baby would be that of her rapist.  :-X  Also, in chapter two, (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=158769&asset_type=story&user_id=3786878) the author makes a rather poor grammatical error:


That's so sweet; the nurse that has raped people in the past is letting her stay in the hospital room longer.   :-\   Ugh.


And just like that, reading an article in the paper that her rapist had been stabed to death in a robbery made everything all better. This story may not be the worst out there, but it is eye-rollingly silly.


So despite the fact that the fetus is pretty much still a zygote at the moment, the doctor can still tell that it's a girl. Oh, the miraculous technology they have in The Sims, I'm tellin' ya.

Good point. I love how these writers mercilessly fuck up easy little words, but then make up words and spell the made-up words correctly. Brilliant.  ::)

From The Rape of Amy:

Oh, surprise, yet another raped victim who's pregnant and can't wait for the little bundle of joy! Does it ever occur to these people that, oh, I dunno, if you're abused and almost destroyed by rape, you might just want to abort the foetus? Any of them?

<Tumbleweed blows.>

NVA, I agree with everything you just said. Thank God for Shrek 3 in that at least the ladies did something.


Technically, if you make up a word, you always spell it right. Who's to correct you?

I'd also like to provide this waste of bandwidth (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=173165&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=racist&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=), appropriately described as 'racist and politically incorrect'. The author doesn't appear to have grasped that there is politically incorrect, and then there is FUNNY politically incorrect. Like South Park. All this person has done is throw together as many stereotypes and discriminative comments they could find in the playground and call it a 'story'.

I think you actually found something that can compete with the Columbine re-enactment. God help us.

And it looks like August in Malaysia, so judges, pick your WINNER.

Judges? Helloooo? Apparently they can't tear themselves away from the brilliant writing long enough to pick a winner. :P Either that or they are shell-shocked. :D

Am I suddenly struck blind, or is there no August contest?

We usually judge the previous month before starting a new one. If we haven't run out of topics. Crappy houses, maybe?

I think we've had crappy houses, maybe crappy hacks will be the next target.

How about the least challenging and/or most game-breaking Sims 2 challenge?

Or we could go with my "most deformed feet" idea from the shitty clothing contest thread.

We still have yet to do eyes, make-up, skintones, accessories, facial hair, pets, careers, food, majors, object mods, global mods, whole Sims, and probably other things that I haven't touched upon.

Something tells me that judging this month is going to be a bit difficult because of all that reading.

Most deformed celebrity sims.  :o

Oh yes, I second that idea!

Hey, that's great!  :D   We might get some cheaters out there though.

Sorry guys, I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had much time to go back through the stories--judging this is a lot more time-consuming than judging a purely aesthetic contest, because it involves a lot more than just looking at a few pictures. But I'll get to it soon, I promise!

I'm voting for the next contest to be ugliest uploaded sim. Bonus points for the biggest difference between photos and in-game/no CC.

I like that idea. We'd have to disqualify Sims that were made to intentionally be ugly, though.

"Ugliest Sim" would be fantastic. But I wouldn't mind "Worst Simmerizing" either. Have you seen some of the pictures out there? Normally I'd encourage every way to express one's creativity, but... seriously (http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r101/shelbnumber1/simmifiedcomidined.jpg). It can't be healthy in the long run.

so...who is judging the stories anyway?  ??? although I submitted a story, I'm going to say that the simmified version of "the hills have eyes" should get a mention. the "bill went to the bathroom and got burnt" line has stayed with me for the whole month of July.

I entered a story too, so no judging for me.  :(
I do wonder who will be among the lucky few who decided the winners this month. Everything in this thread has been priceless.

That, is seriously creepy. A thread of those and i wouldn't be able to sleep for weeks...

Those human/sim hybrids are seriously creepy. I've been noticing creators doing that a lot more lately. What a stupid trend.

JUDGINATING COMPLETE!

Okay. In order to compare the stories, I have (somewhat arbitrarily) awarded points to each story in three categories: # of spelling errors, trashy, and the number of times the story made me go "WTF". Some entries have been deleted, so I couldn't judge them. And some were not completely scored because, well, fuck it (but only those that weren't significant for one category or another). It's impossible to truly account for all spelling and grammatical errors, since that would require TOO MUCH EFFORT. But I did my best.

CATEGORY: MOST OFFENSIVE

Winner, Most Offensive Story:
The Columbine Story
not scored- this one wins based on concept alone  >:(

Runner-Up, Most Offensive Story:
The Willie Witch Projects (Part 1)- 11 counts of OFFENSIVE WTF- 3 black guys go to "the projects." Homophobia, trash talking ensue. I expect this one to be deleted FAST.

CATEGORY: TRASHINESS
This category turned out to be HIGHLY competitive. Reasons for giving trashiness points include, but are not limited to: jail, OMG-TWINZ11!, rape, incest, trashed living conditions, stripper moms, abusive dads, drug abuse, white trash names, teen pregnancy, and KEEPING THE DAMN BABY!

Winner, Trashiest Story:
160 Degree Turn, with 11 counts of trashiness
spelling/grammatical errors: 80
WTF:3
Highlights: the baby-momma is "pregant"

Runner-Up, Trashiest Story:
The Carrson Family (family-owned whorehouse), with 10 points of trashiness, mostly for ugly clothing and general retardation.
Spelling errors: 15
WTF: 10
Highlights: "but she's a corner hoe." Why is the black girl the ugly one?
 
Honorable Mention: That's Just Life -only trashy on 7 counts, but for VERY trashy reasons

CATEGORY: WTF?!
Another difficult judgment to make. WTF points generally awarded for every time I thought, WTF? Most points are not awarded for reasons of being offensive, but a select few were in a very "special" category.

Winner, WTF Award:
You'll Never Fail Making the Right Choices, with 12 counts of mind-blowing WTF-ness!
Spelling:14
Trashy:1
Highlights: "But never drink more than 2 bottles! You can get drunk, and again kill yourself." They blew off writing their "eco-columns" for this?

Runner-Up, WTF Award:
The Willie Witch Projects (Part 1)- 11 truly offensive WTF moments.
SP:4 TR:4

Honorable Mention:
Robobeautiful 1.0 for it's stunningly unique, groundbreaking vision of a robot-woman gone mad.
SP:11 TR:3 WTF:9

CATEGORY: SPELLING
While longer stories have the advantage in this category, the winner is surprisingly brief. Points given half-assedly for spelling and grammatical errors (such as Im or your/you're confusion).

Winner, Most in Need of a Good Beating with a Large Dictionary Award:
My Life: A Youri Stevenson Story, with 115 spelling errors in a mere 18 slides! BRAVO!
Trashy:3
WTF:6
Highlights: Every sentence is a run-on. Author uses NO punctuation. Features such gems as "mystereyesly," "pichtour" (picture), a "hunking" car, and a visit from "Scocal serves."
This story also wins the EMO Award, for all the time the main character spends in her room, telling her problems to her doll and whining that she isn't allowed to visit her dead mother's grave. Plus, her evil step mother beats her even WHILE GIVING BIRTH!

Runner Up, Crappy Spelling:
160 Degree Turn, with 80 errors, including "pregant."
TR:11
WTF:3

Honorable Mention:
IM A DAMN GOOD MOHTER, with a mere 53 counted errors--including "pregnate," and THE STORY'S TITLE
trashy:3
wtf:3
Highlights: Their house has a "patient room." And the bio-tech lab is OUTSIDE.

CATEGORY: OFFENSIVE VIDEOS

Winner, Most Offensive Video:
Beautiful, pt.2 (I Believe in Love), for INVITING THE RAPIST TO DINNER

Runner-Up, Most Offensive Video:
The Stepdad, for proposing to the teenage daughter on her dead mother's grave.


CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNERS!

Great job, Ellatrue! You earned the purple bunny outfit, yay!  ;D

I LOL'd.

I'm amazed you managed to plough through all these stories.  You have the patience of a saint.

I think points should have granted all all the kiddies who prefaced their stories with "soory for the speelling mistak.  WTF? They act like putting on that disclaimer gives them complete license to dispense with any type of grammatical rule or spelling convention.  Do they preface their school work with that disclaimer as well?  I can just imagine them taking offense at their failing grade"  WTF!!!111 I sed I was soory for the speeling mistak.  stoopid retard teacher.

Ellatrue! Great job! I am impressed! :D

In case anyone is interested, and because I happen to have all this stuff written down anyway, here's the breakdown from most of the other stories:

"pregnate:" 2
"pregnet:" 1
"pregant:" 1
"PREGANET:" 1


I Should Listen You!
spelling: exempt- Estonia
trashy: 5
wtf: 6
Highlights: "Girl: I want to move out! Mom: stop please do your homework!"
Good mothers go blonde.

The chappie Family WTF:2

My Slut Mom, My Forgotten Sister and Me SP:4 TR:4 WTF:2
Warning! Floating deformed toddler!

Bluewater Village TR:1 WTF:8

Diary of Pain and Loss (couldn't really score it because it was deleted)
TR: 5
"pregnate"

The Hills Have Eyes SP:8 TR:2 WTF:6

Heaven's Garden
spelling exempt- Norway (that said, it was better than most)
TR:3 WTF:3


Lilly Gold SP:14 TR:0 WTF: 3
Highlight: correctly spells "pregnant."

Huge Changes SP:6 TR:7 WTF:3
Highlight: "Brian wondered why he didn't just wear a condom."

The Gettoms Family
Highlight: Short (thank goodness). Pointless, but perfect spelling!

The Matthews Family SP:4 TR:1 WTF: 3.5
Highlight: short!

Legacy of Biker Grandpa SP:1 TR:2 WTF:4

That's Just Life SP:1 TR:8 WTF:3
"exuberant" spelled correctly

The Big Mistake SP: 5 TR:2 WTF:3

A Pierce in the line 3 SP: 23 BORING

The Perfect Fate 1 SP:30 TR:1 WTF:1

The Unthinkable Chapt 1 SP:15 TR:9 WTF:4

The Unthinkable Part3 SP:21 TR:3 WTF:5
"dear girl I raped"

CGang (the girl killed by appliances) WTF: 8

Story of Miss Mouse disqualified, since it's WTF on purpose

Boy Meets Girl-Underaged bleh. too long and boring to score. 58 slides!
highlight: "but you could see what she WOULD say from her face"

The nukote Family (SLUTSSS, Old Guys, Pretty Girl)
...fuck it

To Be a Some Body SP:2 TR:4 WTF:6
"We were very unimpressed with your profile and qualifications" but they STILL give her a job

Don Lothario=The mission SP:3 WTF:3 BORING

Why Me? SP:26 TR:7 WTF:6
"I would suffer major concicences"

The Rape of Amy SP:3 TR:4 WTF:6
Rapist is black. And the hula dancers? WTF?!

The Romancing Saga of Kelsi and Ashraf SP:0 TR:6 WTF (offensive):10
description-"racist, politically incorrect families"
A MAJOR CONTENDER for most offensive. Jews, blacks, dead babies- is there ANYTHING they left out? UGH.

Light Shine On Us Chapter 1 -fuck it

LOST ON LOVER'S LANE --fuck it

How We Killed Daddy (Video)
rating: TOO FUCKING LONG

The Witherspoon Family SP:2 TR:3 WTF:2
"those two kids are rape kids"

The Diamond Family, their Friends/Affairs SP:14 TR:3 WTF:2
features both "pregant" and "PREGANET"!!111


Believe it or not, this was actually an easy way to judge the contest... I just ticked things off as I read.

W00t!  My nomination won for "Most Trashy" and made runner up for "Crappy Spelling".

I is so proud!   ;D

RE: Plowing through badly written stories. Some people actually do this on a daily basis. A good chunk of them are Harry Potter or LOTR fans, since those fandoms have the most written about them. Communities abound: http://community.livejournal.com/wtffanfiction/profile is just one of them, that I only just peeked at.

Also, the disclaimer can get very creative. And still badly spelled. Though I've read some very ...defensive ones that state "i get striate A's in soochl, so ofuck yoyu all abotu my spleling!" Always good times, there.

I suppose it's a failure of imagination on my part, but I simply cannot get my head around this. Why do some people think spelling is optional.  I suppose it's like the people who believe housework is totally optional.  (Have you ever watched How Clean is my House?).  The common excuse -- I'm too creative and high minded to lower myself at such menial tasks as cleaning.  That's probably similar for spelling -- having to spell correctly hinders my creativity.  But the real truth is it's just plain laziness.  In both cases.

On a different note, are we going to continue this exercise ? Because it's simply too funny to stop

Housecleaning ISN"T optional? Oopsies. :D

Well it depends really.  If you are a social outcast that lives in a bunker, it's not entirely expected, although sure appreciated by the nice young men in their clean white coat when they come to take you away.

However for the rest of the more or less normal population, it's required.  Failure to do maintain decent standards might result in the visit of Kim and Aggie and a camera crew.  Shock and horror might ensue when it's revealed on national TV that there are slugs living under your couch and that your kitchen is dirtier and more contaminated than a former frat's house that's now condemned and inhabited by the homeless.

I'm obsessively in love with that show. My favorite was a guy in a band who had hundreds of fly corpses in his kitchen. Carrion fly corpses.

My place is actually pretty clean, as I use a plasma torch as a household cleaning device.

Contrary to popular belief, there are no housework police!

Just think of all the resistances to bugs you are building for when civilisation collapses. I'm just doing my bit for survival.

Does that mean that the slobs, dirty bastards, and the cockroaches, will inherit the earth?  Oh boy.

Yay! I'm one of the chosen!  :D

Yeah, I guess I'm rather sloppy. But I try to confort myself by thinking that too clean isn't good either (these anti-bacterial kitchen products that finally will make bacteria resistant and such). Our kitchen is far from spotless but on the other hand - no one in this family has ever been sick with food poisoniing or any other stomach disorders  :P

My mother told me once, that when I was just a child, the doctor told her she had to stop keeping me so clean and let me out in the garden to eat some dirt and stuff. 'How will she ever build up any resistance to germs?', he said.

Blame Dr Spock for lots of things, because my mother freaked out on a regular basis about childrearing principles since disputed, but apparently he said nothing about not letting toddlers chow down on dead moth carcasses littered around the perimeter of the porch. Supposedly I spent a happy afternoon chowing down on moths at least once. Since I am usually strong like bull, I suppose it can't hurt to try forcefeeding sprogs dead vermin. From that point on, my hyper-protective parent monitored everything within my reach.

My brother was even more omnivorous, though, and (apparently) a more stealthy child, and has always been rather sickly / allergy prone. In his case, cat turds, loose parquet tiles soaked in wood polish and floor wax, plastic cereal prize toys, bathroom caulk trim and potted plant dirt were part of his daily recommended dietary supplements. Bleh.

Of course, my diet was better overall, because my mother cooked two-three meals a day, we never had any soft drinks, sugared cereals or fast food in our house, desserts were rare, and we were forced to go play outside regularly. By the time my brother was at the same age, my father was dead, my mother was sole breadwinner, and dinner quality declined, plus my brother was addicted to crap and working for a variety of fast food places.

yeech!!  Dead moth carcasses.  They must have tasted nice, if you kept eating them. Not that I'm volunteering to try <gag>

Many aborigines eat insects.  Heck we eat shrimps, and it's just a sea bug.  The revulsion is just a cultural thing.  But even though my head knows, there is no convincing the rest of me... berk.

Huhu grubs are a Kiwi speciality, scroll just over half way down the link to have a look. http://www.maorifood.com/tour_taumarunui.html

Its always strange to a southerner when they go up north a bit. When visiting my great grandparents in Ohio myself and my grandmother (the great grandparents in questions daughter in law.) decided that no one knew how to cook and spices other then salt was a completely foreign idea. They also find our eating of crawfish disgusting because apparently it the more northern parts of the usa they are nothing but bait. We find it weird that they don't eat them but will eat lobsters who are quite a bit like them but bigger.

Where were you in Ohio?  Because I live there, and I've practically grown up on unidentifiable spices....

Eh, one dead arthropod is the same as any other.

I'm told it was a one time event while my mother was busy talking on the phone, and the moth dust and crushed moth corpse in my hand got me busted.

I do like shrimp, maybe they taste the same. I don't remember. :P

The old testament forbids eating of shrimp and insects.
You are going to HELL!

I thought it stated you could eat locusts.

The good book is not exactly consistent.

Locust Stir Fry

by Tom Parker Bowles
from Market Kitchen

    * Servings: 2
    * Level of difficulty: Easy
    * Preparation Time: 5 minutes
    * Cooking Time: 5 minutes

Ingredients

    * 1 tbsp vegetable oil
    * 2 Shallots
    * 85g bean sprouts
    * 3 jalapeño chillies
    * 50g pak choi
    * 20g locusts
    * splash Fish Sauce
    * 2 garlic cloves, sliced

Method

1. Heat the oil in a wok over a high heat. Add the chopped shallots and fry until soft.
2. Add the rest of the vegetables and the locusts to the wok and fry until cooked, stirring continuously.
3. Add the fish sauce and sliced garlic. Stir fry for a moment longer and season with salt and pepper. Serve immediately

'Emerson once said, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

Or, in plainer english, even though it's probably safer not to, sometimes you just have to eat bugs.

Definitely a cultural thing. I ate locusts, grilled, years ago, and they are one of the tastier food I've ever eaten: quite similar to shrimps or other crustaceans, minus the fishy part.
I can't force mystelf to try raw or living insects, though, or larvae; but I find disgusting and therefore impossible to eat also oysters, so it makes sense.

Not that kind of locust, guys. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carob)  :-*

I find shellfish nasty, too.

Then again, I wouldn't eat moth carcasses these days, so who knows if my tastes will change one day? LOL

I'm not quite sure when this thread turned into talking about cooking bugs   :o  ... but

Anyway, not that anyone noticed but I was offline for 3 entire weeks, because the cable company is full of fucktards, and I missed all the judging 'til now. Too funny! And I'm super happy that a couple of my submissions were winners. I suppose it's statistical though, because I did submit a crapload of crappy stories. Now, where's the permanent crappy stories thread? I Suppose I'll go poke around.  :)

she started it !!<points to Lorelei>

Actually I prefer to talk about stupidass stories over dicussing bugs.  Submit another story, maybe that will kick things off again.

I need to find the person responsible for the term "woohoo" and kick them in the face.

Nevertheless, this is a brilliant thread.

Why? Makes sense to me, they couldn't use the word sex without a mature rating being slapped on and it makes plenty of sense.
"guess what hun? You get sex tonight!" "WOOHOO!"

"I don't know about that,' said the poet. 'Scorpions sound unpoetic to me. Wild honey and locusts seem more appropriate, according to the standard poetic instructions, although I've never really developed the taste for insects.'
'I've always understood that the kind of locust people ate in wildernesses was the fruit of a kind of tree,' said Conina. 'Father always said it was quite tasty.'
'Not insects?' said Creosote.
'I don't think so.'
The Seriph nodded at Rincewind. 'You might as well finish them up, then,' he said. 'Nasty crunchy things, I couldn't see the point.'"

 ;)

Clearly, that post will live in infamy.

LOL

Actually, I think the locust confusion stems from the use of the word, in translations, in both "honey and" and "plague of." I doubt people would complain if they were suddenly surrounded by thousands of trees bearing tasty fruit.

Because no one else has stepped in to fill the bad stories gap: The Baca Family (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=182974&asset_type=story&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

No ZOMG RAPE INCEST TWINS!!!1111!!!, but it does include the line "Oh my dad died when i was tree"

Makes me wonder if her mom died when she was bush.  :-X

Is it just me or does that girls mom have wings?  ???

It drives me nuts that these writers can't seem to figure out how to tell a story if it isn't entirely dialog.


And thanks for getting us going again rosenshyne  ;D

Just when we thought it was safe to go back in this thread. ;)

I like how the ugh . . . fariy mom-thing freaks with the mear mention of a boy. Cuz you know, when I mention one of my guy friends my mom always tells me that she won't be raising any of my teen-babies.  ???

The emo girl was the icing on the cake, but then again, I would want to cut myself too if my mom did that to me.  ;D

"oh and sorry about that grammer" AUGH! Don't apologise; fix it! You asshole!

 Holy shit! (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183046&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=Tragedy&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=)
Every single page of this story is a winner!  Features:
-Obvious 12ness!
-Spelling "him" as "hem" consistently!
-"b4", "a$$", "y", "c" and an emotie!
-Rape!
-OMG lesbians!
-Partially unpainted ugly mansion!
-Walls down photos with plumbobs!
-Suicide?
-Inconsistent punctuation and capitalization!
-will Kina and Pamela have adopt a babi or get married>>>???\
-May make your brain melt!

I dare someone to call it.

You're right Invisigoth, every page was a winner!


Yeah, sometimes I change my hole style too... trimmed, shaved, hairy-as-a-hippie.... so many choices...



Very tempting....

"They slept together cuz they were so drunk. Lord, they didn't even cook us breakfast and the fire department had to cumm cuz the stove made a fire!!!!"

Um...  There's some sort of bizarre and sick implication here, I think...

That story is saved by the sexually excitable firemen.

Don't believe me? Explain this:

"the fire department had to cumm cuz the stove made a fire"

Wow. This story has 14 entries and not a single bit of punctuation anywhere. Ouch.
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=173435&asset_type=story&user_id=2920868

According to Wikipedia, 444 is not a valid US area code.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NANP_area_codes

I love that he raped her, but she had to be FORBIDDEN from ever seeing him again.

Because the only valid lifestyle choices for a girl are preppy and emo, and if you're emo you have to cut.  ::)

silly kids! Don't they know that REAL emo kids don't cut, they just walk around loudly telling everybody that they do, and that they're going to kill themselves OMG TONITE!!!1111111, and then blast Linkin Park so loud they can't hear your sighs of utter disgust? It's a known fact that if you cut them they cry like little girls, after all.

That was literally painful to read. I just wanted to share my suffering with those of you who won't click BBS links. You're welcome.

Invisigoth, there's a reason why I don't click BBS links.  You really didn't have to go to all that trouble.

My eyes! They're bleeding!

Someone's jealous of her little sister...

You have actually read the whole thing :o? My brain went AWOL trying to read the third slide already...

Kyna, I'm glad that I could have helped you!  Just because you refuse to intentionally expose yourself to the BBS drivel doesn't mean you shouldn't have it forced on you!  :-P

Sloppyhousewife, I may have skimmed parts of it, but only to protect my brain from exploding and my eyes from falling out.

This is from that person's blog.  She also says she's thirteen.

When I was thirteen, I think I'd begun to grasp the difficult concept of punctuation, somehow.  Of course, I suppose we should pity her; she was clearly too busy pretending to slit her wrists and talk about death to pay attention in English class.  I don't even want to know what her boyfriend is like...

Yes, and when I was 13, I was able to pick up a friggin dictionary, and I knew how to proofread. These idiots only have to click on google and type the fucking words and google says, "did you mean whatever " I mean, we used to have to physically pick up a book. And a dictionary is heavy. Now, I'm not perfect, I know that, but for goodness sake.... Arggg... sorry I'm getting a little excited. Ugh, my nephew is 7 and he writes better stories than these. And why not take some time, and write something you can actually be proud of. Or at least be proud of trying.  *gets off soapbox...

Anyway, this one is fun:
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183493&asset_type=story&user_id=4419666
Plot twists galore, and a surprise ending. Short and sweet too.... I await your reviews :)

Very po mo.

Is his name Cthulhu by any chance?  :P

...who the fuck is "Jon" and why did he kill himself? did I miss a slide?

If I followed this story correctly the dad has no name, but then the writer decides to call him "John" for one slide, and then on the next slide she changes it to "Jon". This story seems to be about random semi-connected shit that happened in her hood. Not a very good premise for a story. Now I'm tempted to take out some of my most random shots and string them together and call it a story. I have a great one of Santa peeing.

It's already better than that story by "Jammy".

Oh my... search for horror (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183380&asset_type=story&searchPage=exch&search=1&key=horror&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=&hideFramework=&languageCode=) and you'll get more than you've asked for... I won't be able to sleep for a long time *shudders*.

What's with the red stocking hanging off of the maid's neck? Is it supposed to be blood? Also, no one knows where the maid went because the urn is being cleverly hidden under a red oval clearly made with MS Paint? WTF?

I like the way everyone has crazy mood swings, particularly those kids. "Yay let's play! Now I kill you! Now let's have a nice family photo!" ???

I also like how everyone is facing totally random directions when they cry, and grandpa is hiding in the corner :)

That story should be called "The Typo Family." There's even a character called "Chirs".

(http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_exchange/story/80/183380/snapshot_53e47df5_d3e74605.jpg)

Wait, who's the killer?

And, for that matter, the handsome, the strong, and the pretty?

I can't wait for chapter two. The "plot" is so exciting!

Who is "Him"?

Some sort of rock band, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HiM_%28band%29) I think. It seems to have the basics: a good-looking one, an overly effeminate one and a buffed up muscle-type.

So the story is referencing a rock band that never appears? I'm confused...

This one is hot off the presses: The Lessbo slaves that are Princesses
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183755&search=1&view=new&new=1&asset_type=story&order=CREATION_DATE+desc&hideFramework=&languageCode= (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183755&search=1&view=new&new=1&asset_type=story&order=CREATION_DATE+desc&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

You know it's got to be good when it starts out like this:

It seems as though every word in this story is misspelled.

My favorite part is where the "boss" asks for proof that the girls are really princesses, so the one girl puts her medieval gown back on, dyes her hair red, and puts on a tiara.  And he buys it!  If only it were so easy in real life...

Oh, Jeebus with a cherry on top. I did mind! I couldn't get past frame 3.

I know if I was a princess going into hiding, my first choice would definitely be hiding as a slave.

And don't worry, I'm not thinking you are "dume", instead I am knowing you are stupid, and doomed.

???!!!???

Definitely WTF territory.

For some reason, that exchange reminds me of Jerry MaGuire.  :P

Yeah, I thought that part was kinda sweet.  Because otherwise, the story would just be about meaningless lesbian French maid slave woohoo.   :P

Okay, I was going to wait until someone else replied so I wouldn't have to double-post, but it's been almost a week now and I'm itching to point and laugh at some more sucky stories.  C'mon, people!  If we're going to keep this thread alive, we need MOAR replies!  There is certainly no shortage of crap to make fun of.

This one is called A Modle's Legacy (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183715&search=1&view=new&new=1&asset_type=story&order=CREATION_DATE+desc&hideFramework=&languageCode=) [sic].  The punctuation abuse in this story is alarming.  Check out page 23, in which there are almost 6 full lines of nothing but exclamation points!

Also, this crazy emo mess called I Am The Reason (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=184350&asset_type=story&user_id=4409488).  It's got some seriously creepy pictures of babies decked out in goth makeup.  On the plus side, it's short.

Last but not least is a rambling and disjointed work of art simply titled The Rogers Family (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=183768&search=1&view=new&new=1&asset_type=story&order=CREATION_DATE+desc&hideFramework=&languageCode=).  It starts out with some teenage girl whining about her family having to share a house with a bunch of random people.  Okay, could be an interesting premise.  Then the girl's mom announces that the other family is moving out and they now have the house to themselves, completely obliterating said premise.  (Why bother with it in the first place?)  Insert several variations of "OMG!!!!!1111!one" here.  Girl has her first kiss with her super-secret boyfriend.  The end.  What truly makes this story bad is the way the writer melds five or six sentences into one without using any punctuation or capital letters.  Case in point:

You're right. Lots of these stories are just wasting server space and plenty of these "writers" look as if they were doing this crap instead of studying grammar and punctuation for their english tests. Where are the grammar and punctuation police? The only member of the grammar and punctuation police I have seen is rohina, but she's over here at MATY so the story exchange is unpatroled. :P

This is hands down the best part of the "Modle's Legacy", IMO:


The rest of the "Modle's Legacy" was as stupid as it was offensive. OMG! Modles throw stuff up! That's so funnie! LOL LOL WTF LOL!!!! But it's ok cuz there's a guy who will cook healthy fud for her so she doesn't have to throw it up on porpuse ne more lol!

"I am the Reason" was bizarre and kind of scary, but only because of the previously mentioned creepy toddlers in goth makeup. Other than that it was totally pointless.  The third story was just a pointless WTF.

The above is from the masterpiece "The Rogers Family".

What the sentence is trying to convey: Oh, that blows; I know how you feel for I felt the same way when I was going through the rough transitional phase of Kindergarten to grade school.

What the sentence really means (with judicious use of punctuation): Oh that too? [Na]talie sucks.  I know how you fell.  The weanie was like 5 or 7 [inches].

o0 The above-mentioned "story" didn't even have French maid action to offset the utter lack of intelligence.

I liked "I Am the Reason" best.  Five pictures of spooky Gothy toddlers



and then the last slide:


Talk about an abrupt tone shift.  The good news is that chapter one is coming soon.  "A Modle's Legacy," sadly, seems to be gone already.

The punctuation on some of these reminds of me of Daisy Ashford's *The Young Viseters* (sic).  "I fainted she said from joy she said to explain matters well said Bernard some people do he added kindly handing her a cushon so I will end this chapiter."  Of course, Ashford was only nine, and she didn't mean for it to be published; it was just an accident that it wound up in the hands of James Barrie.  A hundred years later, it's still a good read, even if her spelling and paragraphing leaves something to be desired, and I think it has something to do with the fact that she really was doing the best she could.

PB

LOL!  Yes, the French maid action almost redeemed The Lessbo slaves that are Princesses.  Almost.

Good call, PB.  She shifted from morose to peppy in one line.  Triple exclamation points?!?  Geckosims phails at emo-ness.

Boy, have I really got nothing better to do than troll the official site for horrible, horrible stories?  I am truly lame.  Or I have an addiction.  Or both.  Anyway, this is the worst one I found today: The Noah Family (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=185030&search=1&view=new&new=1&asset_type=story&order=CREATION_DATE+desc&hideFramework=&languageCode=).  It may not have lesbian French maids, but it does have a dude in a speedo on the cover.  I thought "WTF?" so many times while reading this little masterpiece.  Especially when I read this quote:
Sheesh, that house looks like it cost 30,000 simoleons, max.  I wonder if Grandpa has been squandering the family "bollons" on hookers and blow...

Shit, shit, shit.
I typed in lesbian (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/search.php?searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=lesbian&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&x=10&y=8). I found this "The Special People Family" (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=104866&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=lesbian&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=) v. slutty and uggh. The Polite Family (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=101636&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=lesbian&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=50&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=) - What's with all the uni pics?
Ah well. "Rape", "Lesbian", "Murder" and other stuff along those lines will produce interesting results.

"The Special People" should be renamed "Every Romance Sim Ever Plus Crappy Dialog". I loved the warning on the front page of "The Polite Family".

*WARNING: LESBIANS*

It seems that all of these people have really bad graphics cards.

Did you notice that The Special People Family and The Polite Family were both written in July 2006?  How have they stuck around so long??   :o

I snooped around on Chocolate0705's simpage (the girl who wrote The Special People Family) and found out her name is Michelle and she goes by the nickname Mishy.  Just like the character in the story!!!  Autobiographical much?  LOL!

To be fair, having a lame-o graphic card doesn't quite make these stories as bad as the ones that eschew all forms of proper grammar.  However I have a soft spot for bad graphics, because until a month ago I was playing The Sims 2 on a computer that didn't meet the minimum system requirements.  The only reason I can play it without the red shadows, the red/black flashing water, and with custom content is due to a timely brain transfer.

The Sims is a lot more fun to play when I can use lighting objects, trees, and water.


I noticed that "The Special People Family" actually used periods.  I am highly impressed.  I also noticed that there were lamps in the pictures.  With graphics like that, it takes ten minutes for the game to switch to night.  Maybe thats where the author found the time  to add three unneeded exclamation points after the word "FUN".

The special people one, while the storyline is kinda juvenile and the pics aren't much, is written with proper spelling, decent grammer, periods, quotes, no author-character interaction... all in all, a fucking amazing story for the exchange standards. 

Wouldn't antiwatchout take care of this?

PB

I did not notice that untill you pointed that out! Have a cookie. And some milk to go with it.
(http://www.enjoydeans.com/1/images/common/milk_cookies.jpg)
Well, it is entirely coincidence those are both a full year before this contest began took place. To some, namely silly people like me, coincidence = spooky. :o Sleep well tonight.