More Awesome Than You!

We haven't had a good P&L at bad writing since July of last year, so there must be some fabulous new crap out there. Bonus points if you manage to spork a Urinator, or a story from a source other than the exchange. It's totally easy to find stories with bad spelling and grammar, but let's go the extra mile and find something more that really takes the story into the realm of the appalling.

Hm. I like the sound of this one. I'm not sure what format you want this in though (like some sample pictures or just a link)?

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=233988&asset_type=story&search=1&key=&hideFramework=&languageCode=

Here's a pretty bad one on the Exchange, that's around 5 pictures long (makes for some quick reading in a rush)! It's about a woman who has been abused for years by her husband to the point where she looks half dead (and yet no one notices... Hmm...) then suddenly he turns around, proclaims his undying love and begs for forgiveness. Naturally, she pretends the whole thing never happened and they live happily ever after. As you do. Craptacular pictures, including animation glitches, ahoy!

Choice quote:

I'd say the worst part about that story was

"Viking" "ghosts" (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=233720&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

So someone actually uses the stupid viking helmets?

Oh, and no viking would ever be named Joey.

Bassackwards "story" (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=233704&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

Teen pregnancy (http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=233664&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=)

The author can't spell, or punctuate. Or write an interesting story.

http://forums.sims2community.com/story.php?t=59664

i pick this for a couple reasons:
-when i think of a storey i think of NICE screnshots and the sim is telling the storey...this..is the exact oposite
-the lot building is *epic phail*
-they suck at screen taking
-it gets boring after the 3rd sentance

so...ya..thats my entry and im sticking to it

There were stories in those?  Where?  All I saw was a series of captioned pictures.  And atrocious mangling of the English language in the third one.  If it hadn't been for the information on the "story detail" page, I might not have realised it was in English.



They're saying that it was based on The Sims Zone SimBrother.  That was very obvious just from looking at the housemates - 5 of these are the same housemates that were in series 4 of the SimBrother series (http://simbrother.thesimszone.co.uk/index.php?Series=4).  (John Cleese won that series of SimBrother.)  There's no shortage of celebrity sims, so why did they have to choose the same celebrities as had already been done (and done far, far better) by The Sims Zone.

Oh no Kyna, this story is fascinating. We got to watch a bunch of 'celebrity' sims eat, interact and sleep. What a cliffhanger! Thankfully, day 2 will also be 'settling down' so I'll be able to get more of what I crave. Scintillating commentary just adds to the allure of this piece.

Here is my entry. I give it an "A" for NOT mangling the English language (from what I can see, everything has correct punctuation and spelling) and because the screen shots are fairly nice. However, it gets an "F" for phailing miserably at actually holding my attention... the story also seems to bounce, because I got really confused as to what her boyfriend's name actually was...

http://forums.sims2community.com/story.php?t=59015

Serioulsy?!?

Seriously. I couldn't find any awful spelling or lack of punctuation to make fun of. >_>;

Blimey, I had to go there again. Here is the full quote you were too dumb to see:

That's where Serioulsy came from. In one of the first few sentences.

*witch spells things out s l o w l y

Edit: To fix typo.  ::)

=p Seriously, I have a tendency to speed read. I took the "prroud" thing as how it would be said; there are several books in which the author uses phonetics to capture a speech impediment/accent/dialect. =D You know... like the Frosted Flakes commercial... "They'rrrrreee Grrrrrrrreeeeaaat!" *grins*

Is it alright to post stories from Sexy Sims 2? They require registration to see, but there are some terrible 'sex' stories that deserve P&L.

Go for it.

I am also noting starlady's crimes for mention on Grammar Day.

Nominee for least content ever in a story episode. (http://crayolalegacy.livejournal.com/1266.html)

Well, it isn't as bad as some but it's bad enough.

http://simtastic.wpblogs.com/2005/03/17/dear-diary/ (http://simtastic.wpblogs.com/2005/03/17/dear-diary/)

From the Urinal, we have The Dork Legacy 5.1. (http://katu-sims.livejournal.com/24908.html#cutid1) It has Moar chapters but this was the first one I clicked.

Here are just a few of my favorite parts. I wanted to add more quotes, but that would've made this post 2 and a half pages long. Anyway, here goes nothing.

Fake edit: Meh, still too long.

I don't usually read Sim stories, but I sometimes stop by Sexy Sims 2, just to see if I can find some tacky sex stories. Usually, I am not disappointed.

Here's a sample: Cumming together: In the begging (http://www.sexysims2.com/article.php?t=171601)

Basically, it is a story about Cyd Roseland screwing numerous people, including his own son. How wonderful.

Notable pictures:

...why is there a baby object in the background? (http://pixcastle.com/pic/14460gLjBi/297644.jpg).
NWS: I don't know why, but I am very amused by the face the fireman is giving. (http://pixcastle.com/pic/14460gLjBi/298338.jpg)
NWS: ...the hell. (http://www.pixcastle.com/pic/14460gLjBi/303278.jpg)
NWS: Those breasts! Ugh! (http://pixcastle.com/pic/14460gLjBi/303315.jpg)

Quotes:







They all die by fire, which is very deserving. Now doesn't that turn you on?

I am scarred for life.

 :o

Also...

JESUS H CHRIST ENOUGH OF THE INCEST!

Sir LongCock ahoy! (http://www.sexysims2.com/article.php?t=171645)

I find this picture rather disturbing:
(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s318/aaj2508/Chapter%201/snapshot_93c72e94_93c8a54e.jpg)
Story link (http://www.sexysims2.com/article.php?t=169793)

Someone has her commas and apostrophes mixed up. (http://www.sexysims2.com/member/showthread.php?t=170220)

Also, in another story the author states "Okay, I'm a little scared here.. My first time posting a story anywhere, and I'll be scarred for life if no one likes it" before the story.

I sense a SimSecret in the making...

I don't know, this really did it for me.  He has a horrible wound from shaving his penis and he didn't NOTICE?

I'm not clicking on any more links in this thread. Ugh. Life is too short to waste it on reading bad sim sex stories.  :'(  :o

Semi-agreement.  I'm not clicking any sexysims links.  Reading that stuff is not my cup of tea, even when it's well-written.  I'm certainly not going to go read it when it's craptacular.

It's probably a good idea if people don't post NSFW images in the thread.  Linking to the images with a NSFW warning, such as Diala did, is better.

Looks like you two just volunteered to be the judges.

Zombie attack (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=10878)

Warning: no one actually gets attacked, some of the pics don't have captions, and it's pretty much a non-story. It's short, though.

Not too into details, are we? (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=11110)

Different points of view, on the other hand, abound. I found the story quite confusing (why is the girl in trouble? Why is Gunther in trouble? Huh?)

I am more amused by the fact he had to shave it. Normally, that limb should not be hairy, all the growth happens in its surroundings...unless our hero is someone like this (http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00165/F_200612_december09_165732a.jpg).

Actually, a too tight of circumcision as an infant can cause this. If too little skin is left to account for "growth," when the penis gets hard it can pull some (hairy) skin up from the scrotum. One of those negatives of circumcision that's not talked about.

I shall attempt to fulfill my duites, as I've been eager in the past to be found worth of judging the most awful. However, my real life is about to get even more chaotic than normal. I'm moving to California in 10 days with 3 of my 5 children (from rural Nebraska no less) to attend law school at ***  :o. For realz. So whether I'm still sane at the end of the month to perform my duties is up in the air.

Hmmm.  I don't know that this claims to be a "story," though.  It's a legacy update, which sometimes means just that;  an update on what's going on in somebody's challenge.  A lot of people don't make stories out of their legacies. 

I half-heartedly trolled for stories, and then I quit.  I just don't think I have the heart to spork anybody for their sims stories, which is weird, because I have no problem at all sporking the hell out of bad fanfic on GAFF.  And the charm has gone out of that after JKR published the last Harry Potter book and the Harmony/Pumpkin Pie wankfest died down and there just isn't as much of Draco having Harry's assbabies anymore.  Sigh.

I glanced over the Cyd Roseland story, but the pictures all seem to have been deleted.  Hmmm---wonder why?

PB

PS:  I've noticed that if you do a search on "vampire" on the Exchange, you get a lot of wangsty angst, but if you actually do a search on "angst," what you get is pretty good.

Uh, prof buttsecks? If you are writing a "legacy update" you are making a claim that it is a story. If you are putting it on LiveUrinal, you are making a claim to be a "writur". Thus, crap with no content, and stories that include posts like "Oh, they had a baby, but I can't remember its name" are fair game. If you are trolling for readers and whining on sim secret that you don't get comments,  you are writing a story. Don't make me nominate your weird sexist crap. Kthxbye.

No, you aren't, in fact.  If the legacy author says it is a story, then fine, but all legacy players are not story authors and vice versa. 


I don't agree with you there. LiveJournal is for journal entries, not necessarily stories.  I never put stories up on LiveJournal:  I use it for outtakes, toddler spam, wedding pictures of spares: a lot of writers use it as a sort of "extra features" on a DVD.  It's also good for bitching about stuff you wish your sims hadn't done.  I don't really like LiveJournal stories much at all.


I DO agree with you there.  You definitely have set yourself up if you complain that you don't get comments.  Bonus points:  threats to stop writing.  (Groucho: How much if you don't rehearse?
 Chico: You couldn't afford it.)


You wouldn't dare.  You mean, mean, mean. . . person/thing, you. . . mean.  Person.  Whatever.

Also, I plan to be incommunicado on a boat in Maine, far far from reading writey crap of adolescents.  For weeks.  I just filed my grades and I ain't reading ANY writey adolescent crap before I gotta.

PB

Well, you might be using your Urinal that way, but the story I pointed to was one I found from someone attention-whoring about their story, so you know, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I am going to call it a duck.

I agree that 95% of legacy stories are not really intended to be stories. They are glorified picture commentaries. That's what my LJ is as well, but this does not exclude you from the basic tenants of grammar and any sense of decency. Nothing...absolutely nothing excuses you from using walls down.

My general nomination would be anyone who does an heir poll. We don't fucking care.

Serious nominations:

• SimCity's Supermodel Season 2 (http://epilepticoyster.livejournal.com/3039.html), for running a pixellated supermodel contest. TWICE. It makes me want to cry for humanity. Also for copious use of centered texts in paragraph format. The two do not mix.
• Holy Moly, It's the Spicolis! (http://simmiesworld.livejournal.com/72922.html#cutid1) I know Rohina especially loves this one.  ::)  Nominated for unfunny poking of a fake mentally retarded person. I believe Episode 16 was crueler than Episode 17. Also, walls down.

I actually think the model one is quite... hmmm... quite a good parody of the show. It would be better if it were more sporky, but it has its moments. If you hate ANTM or have never watched it, a lot of it would just pass you by, though.

That model "story" reads like bad Daria fanfiction, which is a place I'd rather not revisit, tyvm.

From June: Furry Sims Urinal. (http://community.livejournal.com/furry_sims/4715.html#cutid1)

Found the diary of Emily at TSR.  http://forums.thesimsresource.com/showthread.php?t=328277

Mercifully brief, and mercifully unfinished (even though it's been over a year since the last instalment).

The story has all that we have come to expect from a craptacular story: spelling mistakes, poor capitalisation (please use I, not i), evil foster home (foster home experience covered in a bare two sentences), misspelling of one of the main character's names in much of the story (Vincund), and incredible plot holes - including an actual hole that the heroine falls into when she's 13, finds she can't get out of, yet she somehow survives until she is 25 when the Curious brothers stumble across her and rescue her.  We are never told how she survived for 12 years in a hole that she couldn't climb out of.

For bonus points, it also probably has game borkage - the sim was born in Pleasantview, yet moved to Strangetown twice - once with her parents when she was 7 and again (apparently) when she ran away from the foster home at 13.  It looks like the writer forgot that she'd moved her heroine to ST in the previous paragraph.

I'm not nominating this based on the story.  I'm nominating this based on the in-thread discussion about how the writer (I use the term loosely) and her sister (who apparently also posts Curious brother stories at TSR) are both great writers because their dad is a writer.
There was this gem from the a random poster:
The "writer" replied with this:
Another random poster says:

Other highlights
- the writer mistakenly posted the story on her sister's forum account, leading someone to think that the sister was now posting three concurrent Curious brothers stories
- she loses track of what instalment she's up to.  The fourth and final instalment is headed: "Dairy Entry no." with no number.  Looks like she intended to go back and count all of the instalments, but I guess she couldn't count that high.
- stories at TSR are supposed to include pictures.  Four instalments of the story, but only two pics.  Neither of these feature the central character in the story.  One was of Pascal's alien baby in the crib, the other was of Lazlo holding the baby.
- From instalment three: ' "HEY!!!!" Lazlo shouted with joy. "WHY DON'T YOU LIVE IN THE OLD ABANDONED HOUSE DOWN THE
STREET!!??" '  In the next instalment we find out the "old abandoned" house is 2 months old.

Hoping that since I have submitted an entry, I am ineligible to judge this month's competition.

Kyna - You failed to mention the lolworthy (possible) typo...


Soooo easily read as "fisted my friends".

Sorry, I was still laughing about the plot hole that was a plot hole.

Oh that's a great find! My sides have actually split. I'd call the hospital, but the phone battery is dead...  ;)

Apparently the "ditch" she falls into has an entire alien spaceship within it. She apparently has to wait 12 years before she can decide to climb on top of it and jump out of the "ditch".

Apparently the father struggled to pay all the bills until one for §1,000,000 arrived and simply had to give her away. As Stangel pointed out, she went to fist all her friends in the morning before ending up in Strangetown by lunch time. She obviously forgot that she moved when she was seven.

I really hate to think what the father's stories/scripts are like...

Excellent find, Kyna. I must admit, I enjoyed the "Who am I, whut?" portions more than the actual story.

Wow. That's why I can't look for any stories, because I would probably get mad and vow never to read a Sims 2 story again. I also don't read Sexysims2 stories. I don't get exactly why you would buy the Sims 2 just so you could make a porno.

Huh. I came here just to quote the same bit about whitnessing something nastey. Oh my, is Emily in for a shock one day.

Who's the noone character that never gets mentioned again?

"Something nasty" reminds me of Cold Comfort Farm.

Kyna's entry seems the best/worst so far, though the month is still young.  I think there ought to be bonus points for dumb usage of Maxis pre-mades.

PB

....

...NO ONE SHOULD BE READING THIS.

...What?

The best friend she supposedly fisted?

Oh, D'OH!  I'm sorry, Rohina, I didn't realize you wanted to nominate my *stories.*  I thought you meant nominate me as a *judge*!  Now that truly would have sucked, because I'm in the down season and I finally get to read good stuff instead of reading all the lousy papers I usually do. 

But my stories?  That's different. I didn't know you'd so much as looked at them.  The early chapters are indeed pretty crappy and some would say the whole thing was hideously bad.  I don't think it would win, but . . . but. . . it's an honor even to be mentioned. . . *sniffle*. . . it really is.  Maybe you'd nominate them anyway and I could get a special award for Miss Congeniality or Most Tedious or Most Sexist Crap.  Pleeeze?


PB

Not true. Sometimes wallsdown is required because walls-up would block the only camera angle that lets you get a good picture.

Well, obviously, the poll is intended for the regular readership, not for you. :P

That story was so desperately unfunny. Not to mention a picture of inept play.

Amusing. While I was reading that thread I accidentally clicked on a link in someone's signature.
One post Stories - Open to everyone *edited title* (http://forums.thesimsresource.com/showthread.php?t=328277)
Smells like a gold mine, but I'm too lazy to look ATM. :P

Smells like the exact same thing to me.  ::)

You can delete the offending wall in Build mode, take the picture normally with walls up, then hit Ctrl-Z to zap the wall back into place.

 :'( And I was purposely avoiding this contest for the explicit reason of not wanting to think about this entry.
Here is your punishment:
(http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x205/Akktri/Floursack13.jpg)

And this quote: "You know what they say about rabbits? It's all true. You were wild."

Camera mods are good for getting those difficult shots, too.  (though you could end up with Walleye Syndrome--almost as bad as Walls Down).

I use Gunmod's camera hack, version A. I also play houses almost everyone describes as "tiny" and "how in the world could you actually fit furniture in that thing?" I almost never find that I can't take a picture I want with everything left as it should be and with walls up. Family photos are probably the only exception.

That isn't a perfect solution, because deleting the wall can have a whole cascade of other side effects, plus you will substitute visible terraingrid instead of visible other-rooms.

Terraingrid isn't a problem; just click on the recolor tool and the grid vanishes.  That said, however, I can't say that I care if walls are down or not just so long as the view behind the characters isn't too distracting.

No, I think the best part of the story is the first line:


I'm inclined to agree.

http://forums.sims2community.com/showthread.php?t=56936&page=1&pp=25

this one isn't as bad as most of the stories but I think it qualifies as craptacular. Basically it's the story of a twelve-year-old girl who has been living all by herself for two years since her mother left. Then  one of her friends some guy called Mike shows up and this is were things get creepy. First of Mike is an adult and responsible adults wouldn't actually leave the kid there living all by herself, and lets face it stories about little girls whose only friends are older men are just creepy ok. Why can't she have a friend her own age? In the end she runs away and the author never updated again thank god.

Some quotes

(http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm181/spicycookies/Shewe.jpg)
Yeesh, what happened to her hand?!  :o

Anyway, yes it is a bit disturbing. I lul at "Sometimes, I believe he may be my long, lost father" and seeing that he really is the father three pictures down. Kinda makes the whole story pointless.

Handpaddles are what happens when people take their screenshots at the lowest quality. Rest assured everything they make will thus look like shit in your game because of their terrible standards.

I luled at that too. It's no wonder the author just lost interest in the story, it's really not that interesting at all.

Also, how many 12's care about how much junk food they eat? Whatshername wouldn't be the one getting in trouble for living alone for two years, her mom would. The guy might get in trouble too, since he knew about the abandonment of a minor and didn't do anything about it.

What kind of sick child abuse is it to put a wooden chest in a kid's room and tell them never to open it?

I don't think this person has ever seen a diary. Who writes down that they're going to see someone along with their full address each time?

I decided to check out some of the story offerings on Live Journal and, within minutes, discovered The Housekeepers Chronicle (http://simtales04.livejournal.com/19928.html).  What it lacks in gruesomely detailed sex scenes and incest it makes up for in hilariously cliched characterization and plot*, incompetent photography** and the blandest narrator to ever be caught up in a completely unrealistic 12-penned soap opera***.  The whole thing is more More Mediocre than You. than More Awful than You!, but since she made the effort to post it to the internet, I thought I'd make the effort to openly mock it. 

* The Pretty Perfect Template 1 Narrator loves her sweet, eccentric, artisy employer and hates his bitchy, undermining wife who can't even appreciate her husband's beautiful soul. She's just so mean!  ::) I love the smell of casual sexism in the morning.

**
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v150/Spikus/snapshot_9582582e_7587bedb.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v150/Spikus/snapshot_b5825bdd_958ea09b.jpg)

*** "I had a breakdown yesterday while working for the Sampson's. I think I'm just so overwhelmed with everything going on. I don't know how I'm going to take care of this baby. I really don't. I think it was the thought that I might have to give him up for adoption is what sent me over the edge. I can't stand the thought of not having my Edmund. (That's what I'm going to name him!)"

I'm not sure that qualifies as child abuse, but it sure is FUNNY!

Granted.

But what kind of weirdo kid would actually not open the chest?

No idea. Everyone knows the surest way to get a kid to do something is to tell them not to. That's why you then do something like electrifying the chest so when they try, it zaps them, and you point and laugh at them. It's hilarious! Especially when there's absolutely nothing in there of interest in the first place.

Empty with a note at the bottom..

"You had to do it, didn't you? Now I'll have to find ANOTHER child."

Promptly tip them in and lock it.

Bwahaha! Even better if said note is pinned the shirt of the previous curious child, I'd imagine.

But then it wouldn't be empty.
Where is xoferew? She'd fit right in this thread! 8)

Is that picture supposed to be a re-enactment of the Greg the Bunny Eraserhead parody?

Dude, if that's a mediocre story, the sim-storytelling genre is doooomed! That story is as captivating as watching the paint dry...no, way worse, because with paint you can at least inhale fumes and feel dizzy. It's worse than a bunnyhead story, which at least has a 'LOL furries' value.

Don't you just love how that housekeeper states she's too 'shy' to actually start something her employer then she goes a fucks him (and a couple of other guys) anyways. And how did she manage to walk in on her employers having sex without them noticing? Don't most people lock their bedroom door when they're having sex?

lol it gets bonus points for taking a picture of the testing object box three times.

Maybe the wife is always crying because she's married to a philanderer.  And the "nice" housekeeper ALMOST feels sorry for her a couple of times, while making the wife cry some more by sleeping with the husband.

This  (http://community.livejournal.com/sunshine_soda/1584.html#cutid1)doesn't completely qualify as it was just posted today, but...there are no words.

It seems weird to see dogs peeing blue pee :D I read that today, and contemplated posting it, but thought it wouldn't qualify because it was too new.

No words indeed o_O ...


Wait, she's suddenly named 'Food', I thought her name was 'Drummer'?


Can somebody explain him/her that you can actually 'pause' the game?

(all quotes from: http://community.livejournal.com/sunshine_soda/1584.html#cutid1)

I like how she gets pregnant from sleeping with another female and thinks, "well, it was bound to happen eventually." Did anyone ever explain the birds and the bees to this kid?

I find it funny that she claims that it "is going to be more made of lol's then you'll ever be able to handle". It's LULZ, not lol's. Grammar mistakes: ur doin it wrong.   :-\

I was so busy being surprised that I could, in fact, handle all the lol's that I missed that.

In fact, when the character is first mentioned, the "author" refers to her as "Dummer". Bit of a Freudian slip there, I thought.

Drummer is drummer_food, (http://drummer-food.livejournal.com/) who looks like a boy IMO.

ETA:
Ah, blue pee. Takes me back. Lol, old times... ;)

I now know who does those useless "comics" for EA: Looks like it's Evi, at least judging from this old story of hers, which has about the same level of intrigue and plot:

http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=1173 (http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=1173)

At the very least, the wolf could have taken over the old dog's place, made him take the blame for his mischief, and have the owner throw him out, or something like that. This is just Pets-shilling.

I think that was a "cute" attempt at censorship - "oh , I 'missed' them having sex so no pictures, t33 h33!"

I notice that the Food legacy bites off the style and main character of shooflee (http://shoefleesims.livejournal.com/), which started as mildly amusing, if obnoxious, and quickly went downhill from there.

If videos are included as stories I found this series with subtitles.
It has a plane crash, murder, a sandwich break (while being chased) and plot holes. :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVtGBq8_0ek (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVtGBq8_0ek)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy6GiKkRJqI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy6GiKkRJqI)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3RKJUGFtek (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3RKJUGFtek)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nh4OyojFw0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nh4OyojFw0)

Holy shit - you really dug up a gem there. I can hardly wait for season 2.

This is FABULOUS. This submission should be called "They Came From AOL."


Tierd? Like wedding caeks? Sorta.

(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s216/assmitten/thinky.jpg)

Reaction to this news: omg lets clam down and get something to eat.

Just for fun, a dog shoots out of the killer's butt in Part 3 at :24.

(http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s216/assmitten/wth.jpg)

Just kill yourselves, please.

Commentor PrincessLeo013 agrees:

The comments make me cry for humanity even more than the videos, and that's saying something.

If only he had put the same effort into spelling that he did into filming and speshul effects. "Everyone tight in your seatbelts" made me cry.

My favorite:

So, they have a plane crash. Zack stumbles across a house where some woman tells him he can stay; and the lazy sod just sits on the couch without looking for his mates? Plus, the woman goes off somewhere and he doesn't contact emergency services? That's not a plot hole, that's a rift on the event horizon.

Then the last two blithely leap on a plane at the end without the slightest qualm. Wonderful. I think the 12 in the name was a dead giveaway, but I would expect a 12 year old to spell better than that.

I had to lul at this:

(http://i37.tinypic.com/3443vo6.jpg)

There's a season 2 as well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUWY4oadV1E&feature=related I can't find the second episode though. It's every bit as bad as the first season!

Yuck. Seson 2 is even worse than Seson 1 (not surprising though). My favourite bit is how the plane crashes because it runs out of fuel in midair... :o

But as for that coloured text... My eyes!!  :-X And it's offensive to Wiccans, let alone my eyes.

I couldn't even tell what was supposed to have happened there.  I could not read that purple text.  Also, she called us pesents.

He. His name is Eric12Davis. HAHA DISREGARD THAT, let's call him it.

It's horrible, but I've started to assume that everyone who writes a craptastic netsp33k story online is female.  Possibly moreso because I am also female.   :-[

Odd, I tend to assume they are all male.

Generally, when they are that young/stupid, I see them as kind of generic, sexless AOLbeast.

If it really reeks of maudlin melodrama, then I feel like it might be female. But the senseless plotting and giant pools of blood felt more male to me.

Due to the sex ratio in the sims community, I just assume female until stated otherwise.
/me is male for the record.

I think the amount of women and homosexuals in the Sims community is related to the design aspects of the game.</sterotyping>

I found this urinal, though I have no idea what is called Sim Winchesters.

Episode 1: (http://community.livejournal.com/sim_winchesters/393.html) Introduction, nothing to see here, move on.
Episode 2: (http://community.livejournal.com/sim_winchesters/652.html) We are introduced to their band, then "in the middle of one of our practice sets" some guy, John, calls Dean and tells him the story of Jason and Jodie Larson (lol premades) and how close they were when Jodie got sick and eventually died and with the help of a gypsy, Jason brings her back as a zombie.
Episode 2.5: (http://community.livejournal.com/sim_winchesters/939.html) Something actually happens! After a 2-pic recap and another story about why Dean doesn't like to drive, they go to the mall, have a bit of fun, and bump into Jason, and persuade him to come over for dinner the next night. We find out the whole point of this is "to decipher whether or not Jason had zombifyed his sister." They go to the Larson house and discover Zombie Jodie in a shed. Everyone has dinner. Really, why the fuck did Jason put Jodie in that shed?
Episode 3: (http://community.livejournal.com/sim_winchesters/1375.html) A gem. Intimacy, with a big, obnoxious, rude, in-your-face CENSORED. Pregnancy, then a baby. "Andie named him Paddywhack, and we have no objections. At all. None."
And so on (http://community.livejournal.com/sim_winchesters/1598.html).
Zomg a video!!!!!11one! (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ppHpS8-wpJs)
The journey continues...

These comments crack me up:
There's only one face for babies. Dumbass.

http://lollipoplegacy.livejournal.com/3993.html

This story is just too awful to not submit here.

Here is one of her lovely quotes, "I used to be an english major so i know what you are talking about in my grammer usage. i will work on that for the next one."

What's even funnier is that quote is a response to someone complaining that she keeps typing the word I as lowercase.  And she's still in school but "used to be an English major".  I wonder if she switched majors due to failing as an English major?

Do we really need 6 shots of the character giving that vampire dude a rose?  Seems to me this "story" was just an excuse to post that sequence of shots, because there's not much else to the story.

Rules nitpick here:  How does a Legacy sim (i.e. a sim fresh out of CAS) get a job in the Art career?  If the Legacy sim was a YACAS sim, then surely the story should start at Uni.

That reminds me of this. (http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Virginia_Tech_massacre#Cho:_Playwright.2C_Author.2C_Comedic_Genius)

(http://i37.tinypic.com/xdsi1.jpg)

I love that the vampire's name is dun dun DUNNN "Vampire." FAIL.

Another nice quote from her story:

Vampire shrugged and took a deep breath before answering, "Well it was not originally part of the plan that i had made for us..."

I interrupted, "The plan for us?!"

My hormones were out of control that i didn't know how to react to him.

I die a little inside.

I am so glad I looked back at her July 9th entry: "When i used to be a writer...."


Holy crap, her autobiography.

EDIT: I nominate this shlock (http://community.livejournal.com/sim_plelife/4104.html#cutid1). For a lot of reasons, including purple prose, writing that tries so hard to be "quite emotional," and Goopy.

That was a real gem, zombiekim. Searching for love while dressed as a pedobaiting whore? Also,
ENOUGH OF THE FUCKING INCEST ALREADY! MAKE IT STOP!!!111!

Whoa, Goopy slash. Do not want.

BWA HA HA!  A 12, writing an autobiography.

"So, like, I was born in a hospital to two white, middle-class married parents with no complications whatsoever. I moved into a house with 1.5 siblings, a dog, a cat, my parents, and a white picket fence. I liked my Big Wheel and Barbies.

I went to school and mingled with my peers. I cared a lot about what they wore and watched on TV and listened to on CDs and the games they played and did my best to fit in by doing everything exactly the same, even though I am a unique and special snowflake. I parrot my parents' political beliefs and religious beliefs and think I am a deep and original thinker.

Now I'm in high school and I have a crush on this boy who doesn't know I am alive. My specialness and unique genius will make my autobiography a best-seller worldwide, and maybe that boy will ask me to the dance. He has hidden depths and is The One, I just know it. Oh Josh Kevin Brad Tyler Dylan Cody Jennifer. Jennifer? I think I'm teh gai. Jennifer is totally awesome. She has hidden depths and is definitely The One. I wish she would ask me to the dance. I'm going to hell because I am teh gay. Maybe I am bi. No one has ever dealt with these issues before, ever.

I am a radical punk rocker rebel because I think I am bi. My best friends think they are bi, too. Today at the Johnny Rockets, the jukebox like, magically, was playing our song. "Rollin' with da homies..." *tearstains* It was a sign from my personal guardian angel that Mikie and I are meant to be. I have decided I am not really gay after all.

Math is hard. I hope Daddy buys me the car I want on my birthday. I think I am too fat. Gerald Way is totally hot. I like french fries. Parents just don't understand. I yearn for popularity but despise the popular. P.E. sucks. Johnny Depp is totally hot. My nose is too big. I can't wait until my braces came off. Nick Carter is totally hot. I am special because I read a book not on my summer reading list. I am deep and sensitive poet. My poetries, let me sho u dem. Hello Kitty is kawaii. My feet are too big. My boobs are too small. My hair, like, totally sucks. My mom got mad and said you're livin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

The "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme song is now my anti-Goopy. YES.

Heh.  Yet more evidence of the pervasive belief among 12's the world over that Photoshop and suicide can make up for shit-tastic low quality photos.

Okay, these are from the exchange, but WTF.

All of renna10player's (http://thesims2.ea.com/mysimpage/uploads.php?user_id=6002078&asset_type=story) "stories" suck.
The Tears and Smiles series and the Goddess true love story by inugomelady (http://thesims2.ea.com/mysimpage/uploads.php?user_id=5950492&asset_type=story) stink. I was amused that rape was legal but not allowing the rapist father to live with his daughters was illegal.

Edit: inugomelady's The Mainson Family sucks too.

I agree with everything you just said Lorelei, being 13 12. I hate those emo people on other message boards who always say they are bi, and always say they are a cutter and they are proud. They always complain about how their parents never let them do anything. At least they have 2 parents who care about them.

Inugomelady's stories are priceless.

Uhh um mm hmmh mhhm indeed. I love it.

"stop it i barley know you."

Alas, poor Amaranth, I knew him well.
Geoffrey Chaucer: The Millet's Tale
SSSSS-wheat!
Dr. Seuss: Hop(s) on Pop(s)

Another gem:
"he did just to his daughty , and libby. sucking on her breast was only part he planned to do what he did to all of them get them pregnet that do the same to the children if the were girls."

And then they get many babbys (http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf)

You can have my -- barley? (http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZtfbheHuW5w)

They need to do way to instain father...

Here's another one:

http://community.livejournal.com/legacychallenge/1647424.html

The Mc Adam Legacy.

Urgh, wat is it with people and KH! I know they love it to bits but really, too much

...Why can I see some sassy black lady delivering the 'M.A.D' part? Who writes or even talks like that anyway?

So who won for August? What's the topic for September?

Gethane and I were nominated to judge this one.  However, I submitted an entry so am not eligible to be a judge.

Ask Gethane who won.

If nobody else has ideas for September, I've been waiting for a "Not As Advertized" More Awful Than You.  All those pretty hairs or elegant furnitures that look GREAT on the website and then suck in-game.  Those sorts irritate me more than the obviously ugly TSR type junk, and it would guarantee a break from FeeEssen. :P

I like the "Not As Advertised" idea. Would "Not As Advertised" include "More Stolen That You," stuff that is advertised or sold as a payfile that is not something the seller actually coded or modded him- or herself?

I like the "Not As Advertised" idea too.  I think it should include that type of stuff too.

Most of Peggy's hairs would fall under "Not As Advertised" category quite nicely.

I have a really aweful-looking hair in my Downloads that would be perfect for that theme - it looks like the texture got rotated 90 degrees, or something.  Now if I can just remember where I got it from...

It sure could, especially since so many of the stolen things are not meant for the Sims and end up huge and laggy or poking through walls.

Or it could be another category because finding where things are stolen from is like a fun treasure hunt and may deserve its own month!

Gethane and Sen. Kyna, PLZ report for judging!

I submitted an entry, and am therefore ineligible to be a judge.  My search-fu sucks, and I cannot find when this principle was first established, but it was referred to in the December 2007 competition.  It will be noted that Metalkatt was not a judge for that month's competition.




Besides, I am not registered at SexySims and have no intention of registering there, so am unable to read all the entries.

DOH! I missed that, Kyna, sorry.


Yeah, you're not missing out on ANYTHING at all there, seriously.

Go start the thread, please.

Yes please, I'm already sick of reading these stories!