More Awesome Than You!

So... yeah. As far as I know, I haven't done anything to make this happen. But apparently, my computer thinks I don't have USB ports. I plug stuff in and nothing happens. According to Device Manager I don't even HAVE USB ports. So... wtf?

Sounds like the motherboard is shot

Everything else is working. I think.

Mine did that once a while back, somehow, the computer disabled them and thought that they did not exist. Bloody annoying considering that this computer  has 5 usb ports, and slots for the memory stick of your choice, none of the were working except for the two in the back. Damned if I remember what I messed with to get them back. Wish I could be more help, but at least all hope is not lost yet.

Yeah, I keep hoping that someone has a flash of inspiration and can tell me what to do. I actually NEED to get some pictures on the PC, so of course, I can't.

The only thing that I can think of that I did recently was run an update for Spybot, is it possible that it fubared my usb ports?

I actually just discovered I had the same problem. Just random, out of the blue, no you can't put any new music on your mp3 player don't be silly.
I might have to brave calling my brother, the computer king, for help but he berates me mercilessly whenever I do. Jerk.

Try re-installing your mainboard drivers?

Check your Bios to see if it's even seeing them. 

Mine did the same thing in December, then started having BSOD constantly.

Check your BIOS to see if you can enable the USB ports.  Mine no longer had that option, even though I updated my BIOS.  So I am pretty sure my Motherboard is shot.

Here is a free diagnostic CD you can download that was highly recommended to me by a computer tech person.

http://www.ultimatebootcd.com/ (http://www.ultimatebootcd.com/)  That is what I used to narrow down what I needed to fix before taking it in for repairs.

Where would I go to check my bios?

When the  computer is booting up, when the logo screen is up (before you get to the Windows page) hit either F1 or Del- it varies by computer which will do it, but your splash screen may tell you.  Then you look around. Just do not change anything in there if you don't know what you're changing. Like your registry, it's not a place you want to go around experimenting randomly just for the fun of it. At least not if you want to be able to start your computer.  If you see something that says USB 2.0 and it's disabled, change it. Somewhere in there, it will show all the hardware it sees. But again, where varies some. You should be able to look it up online, if you can't figure it out.

On my two computers, one uses F-2 key and the other uses F-8 key at the splash screen to load BiOS.

Yeah, now that I've seen the screen, I know what I did. When I was changing out my RAM, after I was done and trying to boot up the PC, it was making me hit f1 and go thru the Setup before it would load windows. Because I didn't know what to change, I hit the "Load Fail-Safe Defaults" and saved and exitededed.

Now I just need to figure out what to fix to get it back.

Okay, so off the top of my head (I checked the bios this morning) there are three things listed as USB in the third boot up(?) option. Is this what I want to fiddle with?

If you find USB listed anywhere and it is disabled, enable it.
I found something on the HP site about how to ensure that your USB is enabled but honestly, it's rather ridiculous instructions and covered 98. The bios haven't changed all that much but gah, it would be easier to just poke around until you find a usb listing and then enabling it.
After that go into Control Panel>System>Hardware>Device Manager>Universal Serial Bus Controllers and make sure those are enabled. I have sometimes had to disable them, search for hardware changes and then enable them again to get them to work.

Whee! It works now! I went into the bios setup thingy and just hit the one that said "Load Optimized Defaults" and now it works.

Yay!

Sorry for bothering everyone with my dumbassery.