Jul "More Awful Than You": Most Offensive Story Or Movie!

[rohina]

P.S. I do have to say that I'm both glad and surprised no MATY weisenheimers nominated Father Jerkwad's tangentially Sims-related trollery for worst story, though. For sheer goatse points, it probably wins.

It was discussed, but he is ineligible on a technicality - i.e. the story was still being written after the contest was announced.

[rohina]

Sorry for the double post, but I had to share.

Swears! and Poison! and Bad Spelling!

[witch]

"Okay, What the hell. Are you from like planet stupid?"

[Kyna]

Heh, I loved the categories:

Categories: Mystery,Tragedy,True Stories

The only tragedy is that this saw the light of day.

[Khaki]

Here's one about a family owned whorehouse.... It might be my favorite one so far.  A whopping 83 entries in this story, 90% of them useless. But the rest are a riot.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=134942&asset_type=story&user_id=3159432

[jsalemi]

Here's one about a family owned whorehouse.... It might be my favorite one so far.  A whopping 83 entries in this story, 90% of them useless. But the rest are a riot.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=134942&asset_type=story&user_id=3159432

That one's a hoot!

"Mimi: (mumbled) Whatever
Kris : (mumbled) Bitch"

hehe....

[sloppyhousewife]

Mama: you do understand that this is a biz where you have to Woo Hoo with people
Lady : yes i know i believe i can do it

 

[rohina]

I cannot believe that piece of excrement had 4 stars! Which of you have been love-rating? CONFESS!!!!!

I must say that the "interview" where the madam had to read over the girl's resume a second time was priceless. Do you think whores are guilty of resume-padding?

[Invisigoth]

Mama : she went ghost
Everyone : HA HA HA HA

But this one was so funny and original!  And OH NOES!  I can't take the cliffhanger ending!  When will there be a part two!?!  They've got a murdress in their midst!  ::panics and loots the forum::

[Annan]

Mama : she went ghost
Everyone : HA HA HA HA

But this one was so funny and original!  And OH NOES!  I can't take the cliffhanger ending!  When will there be a part two!?!  They've got a murdress in their midst!  ::panics and loots the forum::

You managed to read the entire thing? I'm impressed. My brain went OW after the "interviews".

[Invisigoth]

Mama : she went ghost
Everyone : HA HA HA HA

But this one was so funny and original!  And OH NOES!  I can't take the cliffhanger ending!  When will there be a part two!?!  They've got a murdress in their midst!  ::panics and loots the forum::

You managed to read the entire thing? I'm impressed. My brain went OW after the "interviews".

So far the only one I haven't been able to finish was the Columbine one.  I think that for the purposes of the actual contest that one was the clear winner.  But let's just keep doing this forever anyway.  It's fun!  They make me giggle and then I can rate the story as "horrible" and pull down the four or five star rating that they all seem to have.

[Zeljka]

Mama : she went ghost
Everyone : HA HA HA HA

But this one was so funny and original!  And OH NOES!  I can't take the cliffhanger ending!  When will there be a part two!?!  They've got a murdress in their midst!  ::panics and loots the forum::

You managed to read the entire thing? I'm impressed. My brain went OW after the "interviews".

My first (frist) thought was that Papa and Mama at 87 and 72 seemed hella old to have an 18 year old daughter...
How many photos does it take to get an ugly girl to her whore interview?
Correct Answer: 0, just skip to the part where the used up whore is laughing her head off because an ugly girl thought she could get paid to woohoo.

That the captions could range between pleasant use of spaces, capitals and accurate spelling to 'kitty on my keyboard' (and often on the same page) blew my mind and though I quietly hate that, I became intrigued and found myself looking for a pattern.

Are there underlying clues to be gathered from the so-random-it-must-be-deliberate use of caps? (I thought so when she said 'Daughter Named Whatever but everyone calls her mimi, sort of like, the girl was less worthy of a Proper name once she'd joined the 'biz')
Then I wondered if it was a Shared Story concept, where one would try to create an interesting panel only to find their stupid friend had cheated and just threw in another door shot.


the possibilities are far more interesting than the story itself

[behold_the_muse]

How can a story about a whorehouse be so fucking boring?

[rohina]

Boring? What do you mean? There were job interviews! And bitching about who got the purple bunny suit!

[Onion Girl]

Oh God, this whole thread is just hilarious. It's amazing how almost... obsessed the kiddies over at exchange are with rape, incest and teen pregnancy, and it seems many barely know what happens or how to discover the pregnancies. Poor kids. Some of them are just... wtf? and some are highly disturbing. What *is* it with the almost, trivialisation of rape and incest? I suppose I can get wanting to know more about the subjects... but, writing a stupid story about it where the girl gets pregnant with "ZOMG!!! twinz!!111eleventyone"? It seems these kids almost think along the lines of "look, rape is teh funnehz! LOLZ!!!"

I submit This story. It's isn't particularly offensive more than it is stupid. The cool thing is, the girl and her boyfriend continously have sex outside the house on a bed, and the mother doesn't notice that there's a double bed right outside, or hear her daughter and the daughter's boyfriend having sex. Also, biological errors! Feeling crampy and then going to the hospital to take a pregnancy test? Um... if cramping is a sign of pregnancy, I've been pregnant thousands of times and didn't even know it!
Some choice quotes:
"Oww." said Gina. Suddenly, Gina heard noises from outside. She cleaned herself up, and went outside.

Right, because, it's not as if she'd notice a double bed right outside her door, with her daughter and the boyfriend having sex in it, ever!

When Gina went outside, she couldn't believe her eyes. "Oh my god!" said Gina in surprise. They were playing a game of Tonsil Hockey! And it was getting to be violeant.

Violeant? What's that? A weird variation of violence? It's so violent, it's violeant! Also, tonsil hockey? What self respecting adult would actually refer to french kissing as tonsil hockey?

God, I just can't understand how people can have such little knowledge of spelling and grammar, just, how?

[rohina]

This one wins the prize for horrible exposition. Love the violation of the "show, don't tell" rule.

"I know we have had this discussion before, but I need to get this off my chest. You're way to young to be dating!" replied Gina, the mother. Lilly said nothing, but you could see what she WOULD say from the expression on her face."

See, that's classic exposition, there. But then, in the next frame, she does answer!!!!

[Invisigoth]

SLUTSSSSSS, Romance,Short Story,Old Guys, pRETTY GIRL

hahha sound spreds REALLY FAST
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169523&asset_type=story&user_id=3859242

[witch]

Meet the Carrson Family (But not everyone is a Carrson ) - what's wrong with that - bit of mystery here right at the beginning.

Mama: not to be rude, but are you sure you are in the right place, i mean you seem like your going to a different kind of interview
Kris: like what, a biz lady job - and style - yep, Kris wants to be better than a 'corner hoe'

Now this is trash-talking!

[witch]

hahha sound spreds REALLY FAST
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169523&asset_type=story&user_id=3859242

As fast as sound waves d'you reckon? 

[Onion Girl]

SLUTSSSSSS, Romance,Short Story,Old Guys, pRETTY GIRL

hahha sound spreds REALLY FAST
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169523&asset_type=story&user_id=3859242

What a beautiful story, it just warmed my heart!

Ya know - I always did find it amusing that whenever sims 'WooHooed' in public, they got cheered, even by shop staff, instead of being kicked out of the store/arrested.

[Gwill]

Flashing accessory alert.

[notveryawesome]

Not to mention the, um... LOVELY décor. I know I certainly use tiger-striped wallpaper in my home-office for that Las Vegas brothel feel.

[MsMaria]

I haven't been able to bring myself to peruse the Exchange for this garbage. I'm sorry! Please don't make me!

I do, however, appreciate the efforts of the contributors. I've never laughed so much in my life.

[Khaki]

I submit This story. It's isn't particularly offensive more than it is stupid.

Stupidity is the worst (best?) offense.

They had a love affair, and they had backrubs, flirting, kissing, hugging, and appreciating.

  Oh that dirty dirty appreciating!!

I love how the authors of these stories can't seem to break out of "simdom" - Sex is WooHoo-ing.... even in brothels...even outside on the sidewalk.. even in public... 

hahha sound spreds REALLY FAST
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169523&asset_type=story&user_id=3859242

After a long day of screwing every guy in the store wouldnt you be tired?

  No, no I wouldn't. Because when I used to slut it up like that, I was on drugs.

[baratron]

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174870&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=

that one caught my eye for being "one of the best storys i ever rote". Not overly offensive, but.... I'm inclined to believe the author on that point.

I actually think this was written by a child aged 10 or under. The spelling is too bad for a 12 year old. So this makes me wonder if the child's parents know s/he is loose on the internet.

BTW, what's with the pregnate everywhere, it seems to be the most common way of spelling pregnant, but it's not even pronounced that way.

I've been wondering what's up with the use of women for one person. Can't get over how many of the stories think that "women" is the singular (e.g. talking about the evil stepmum, "I really hate this women"). I haven't noticed this happen with "man" and "men", so it seems rather strange to me.

Trolling the bowels of the exchange for low-rated stories, I came across this gem. No rapes, but everyone dies of cancer. The thing that makes it super-awesome is not the blurry pix (although they are dreadful), but the fact that the story is backwards. Ordering snapshots is tricky, folks!

I just learned that there's no story so bad that a bunch of random swears and lame "jokes" about eating bodily fluids can't make it worse. I bet this  was written by a 12-year-old boy.

I'm dead from laughing at "Your fruity ass should be the last one talking about ass sex, damn rainbow faggot!!". Totally rating that 5 stars now .

I don't think this was written by a 12 year old boy - I think it was written by someone who's recently watched "Chasing Amy" and thought that Chris Rock's character Hooper X was a real person. Also, I'm certain that straight men don't call each other "Bitch", which means that Double-D is protesting too much. Shame that Chapter 2 is no longer there, or never got put up .

Who's judging this thing? I think we need several categories of horrors, e.g.:
1) Most Offensive Spelling And Grammar in a Story
2) Most Number of Rapes Per Chapter
3) Most Utterly Offensive Plot in a Story or Video
4) Most Gratuitously Wrong Video For The Song It's Set To

There are probably other possibilities.