Jul "More Awful Than You": Most Offensive Story Or Movie!

[FireFlyNine]

The Sims2 CD: 20.00$
Subscriptions to a dozen crappy paysites: 50.00$ a month
MSPaint Program: Standard on most computers
Putting together a story so horribly 12ish that only a MATY contest could love it: Priceless 

There are some things money can't buy, like readable spelling. For everything else, there's the star buttons.

[Khaki]

So I get to call my boyfreind.I asked him if he could come over.Oh yes dear I can come over I will be over in a minute.Ok fine with me.We both hung up and he came on his way to my house.

Ahhh, young men, they come on the way to your house and still have enough energy to rape you!

an afterthought:

He raped me I did not want this to happen but I fell so in love with him.(I hope he used a condom).

Does anyone else think that this sentence sums up the whole friggin rape obsession these 12 year-old-have? They have it pounded into thier heads DON'T HAVE SEX! (which I guess is a good thing?)  But then there is puberty, and they naturally get horny, and the only way they could possibly be able to be having sex is to be raped... no they'd never do it willingly....  ya know what I mean,... pardon my rambling...

[FireFlyNine]

Khaki, you made me smile. 

After thought to Khaki's after thought:
Bingo.
What you just said pretty much sums up what has been pounded into the head of every kid in my school district. At lest my year of kids got the "all things in moderation" into them before they crakced down on that too. Can you belive they are telling kids from Wisconsin never to drink? BS, your from WISCONSIN, it's against the law ot to drink.

[Kyna]

He raped me I did not want this to happen but I fell so in love with him.(I hope he used a condom).

I hope he used a condom?  WTF?  Like you wouldn't notice him pausing to put one on before he raped(?) you - and if it was really rape surely there's an opportunity to escape while he's putting it on ...

[Khaki]

Hey Kyna I noticed your siggy and clicked it but was wondering something

Also, thank god for Google spellcheck. Otherwise, this post would be intelligible.

Can I pinch this line for my sig, please?

Ok, I'm confused, and I'm really not trying to nitpick, but am I the only one who noticed that the word should be unintelligible? Is that part of the joke? 
either way it's hilarious and points out the errors that spellchecks can't catch!

eta: I posted here cuz I didn't want to bring the Father Jebediah thread back...

[Kyna]

That's one of the reasons why I wanted to pinch it.  Also to poke fun at my own posts which are sometimes not very coherent.

[cenoura]

That last story is a gem. As well as the other lines already mentioned, there's "He grad me and started to make out with I like it .But I know that was going to lead to the bed." ... "So I get up he told to go to the bedroom and get on the bed.And I said ok." .... followed by "Then he be came closer to be and............................................ He raped me I did not want this to happen but I fell so in love with him", ending with "That night I gave him a goodbye kiss.But why did I just kiss He just rape me oh my bad."

Oh my bad! I just kissed a guy I fell in love with when he raped me!

I think when this challenge ends we still need an awful stories thread.

[rohina]

That one was priceless. I mean, at what point in the proceedings did she actually say "no"? And the condom line made me spit coffee all over the place.

[kuronue]

He raped me I did not want this to happen but I fell so in love with him.(I hope he used a condom). mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................................

...no, he did not. You invited your horny boyfriend over to your house, made out with him, then, giggling, ran to the bedroom and disrobed. The word you want is "fucked". Seriously, replace "rape" with "fuck" in every case and you have an accurate story.

"I have a boyfriend who likes to fuck girls"
"He fucked me"

what, are these all the nutso kind of feminist, running around trying to say that "all sex is rape"? (no offense to the feminists here, unless you believe that all sex is rape, in which case, feel free to be offended, since you're batshit anyway ^^).

[Khaki]

The word you want is "fucked". Seriously, replace "rape" with "fuck" in every case and you have an accurate story.

Yeah I was gonna say that the intro description to the story should have been
"Here is a story about a girl who lost her virginity"
instead of
"Here is a story about a girl who got raped"

[kuronue]

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174870&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=

that one caught my eye for being "one of the best storys i ever rote". Not overly offensive, but.... I'm inclined to believe the author on that point.

[Khaki]

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174870&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=

that one caught my eye for being "one of the best storys i ever rote". Not overly offensive, but.... I'm inclined to believe the author on that point.

ows..... the misspellings - they hurt my brain -  ows... the punctuation too!

That story has no rape! I'm disappointed! But really that plot was actually something somewhat original... I love how the stepmother beat her the whole time she (the stepmother) was in labor...

[rohina]

My favourite part of that story was the apology for the spelling mistakes. Don't apologise! Fix them!

[Invisigoth]

Well, apparently on the crazy planet that these "writers" come from there is no such thing as spell check.  And periods are only things that you miss after being raped until you give birth to twins. 
I definitely feel that making fun of bad exchange stories needs to become a staple of MATY culture.  We could do this forever, I suspect.

[Khaki]

Here's a fun one:  http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174842&asset_type=story&user_id=1926615
 It also starts with a disclaimer about misspellings. No rape, but a cheating father who apparently moves his hoochie into the family home. The hoochie gives birth to one(!) child at the end and here is the text:

Nick Austin Jonhson
born:4/7/07(not really)
at 3:47(not really)
5 pounds 17 ounces

It's nice of the author to let us know that he wasn't really born at 3:47 on 4/7/07 but that he does, in fact, weigh only 5 lbs 7oz.

[rohina]

Well, you can't be too careful about posting your personal details on the BBS. You might get stalkers!!!!oneoneone.

[Invisigoth]

The first picture blinded me with hot pink and bright blue fury, but I did regain my sight just in time to notice this.  Anyone else see something a bit strange in the background right?



The phone in the middle of the shot just makes it...very postmodern.   

[rohina]

That is very funny, especially as the accompanying text makes no reference to death-worshipping early-developer babies.

[sloppyhousewife]

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174870&asset_type=story&pid=Exchange_stories&hideFramework=&languageCode=

that one caught my eye for being "one of the best storys i ever rote". Not overly offensive, but.... I'm inclined to believe the author on that point.

To me, this story has "I finally found out about the 'change appearance' option" written all over it

Here's a fun one:  http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=174842&asset_type=story&user_id=1926615

I AM NOT A FAN OF BRITNEY SPEARS AND PARIS HILTON SO I STRONGLY SUGGJEST YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!

Waaaahahahahahaha *rollsonthefloor*

[witch]

You palstic idiot!I knew you were going to do somthing to ruin my family!

BTW, what's with the pregnate everywhere, it seems to be the most common way of spelling pregnant, but it's not even pronounced that way.

[LadyArgonna]

Cora Blood was clearly a "I have no idea how Cameraman mode works, but this is soooo artistic!"
I was actually liking the first one until I saw the two guys. Then I closed it.
I am now far too scared to do a search of my own...
And the sad, sad fact of it all...
People who can write and do decent stories get buried under metric SHITtons of this stuff.
One simmer I know closed up shop and stopped posting because shit like this was getting 5 stars, and her decent, rather original Legacy story got a maximum of 2.35 stars.
I know why - can we say "massive circle jerk"? I'll bet you 50 Simoleans that most of these kids know each other IRL or through MySpace, and of course, everybody rates everybody else's 5 stars.
Gag me with a reticluated spline.

[notveryawesome]

BTW, what's with the pregnate everywhere, it seems to be the most common way of spelling pregnant, but it's not even pronounced that way.

I think some people just don't enunciate clearly, and the result is that the 'n' in 'pregnant' is dropped during speech, so the word ends up sounding like 'pregnate' or 'pregnut.' The dimwits have obviously only heard this mis-pronounced version of the word (probably due to sex education being removed from school curricula), and never seen it written, so they make up their own spelling based on the erroneous pronunciation. After all, I would hardly expect somebody who writes so poorly to be well-read enough to have seen the correct spelling somewhere, certainly not in a *gasp* book. Then again, books tend to use euphemism instead of clinical terms, so it's entirely possible that the little darlings only know how to spell 'expecting' (though this is highly unlikely, since I doubt that they read at all).

Yes, I am being a bit sarcastic, but only a bit.

[rohina]

Trolling the bowels of the exchange for low-rated stories, I came across this gem. No rapes, but everyone dies of cancer. The thing that makes it super-awesome is not the blurry pix (although they are dreadful), but the fact that the story is backwards. Ordering snapshots is tricky, folks!

[frivolous]

This is just ... ridiculously silly drivel: http://youtube.com/watch?v=HdxOYye1hak

I'm so amused that when they are roasting marshmallows you can see her start to catch fire right at the last minute. And OMG, the fairy dancing at the end. WHAT.

This is the great director by the way: http://tyropark.multiply.com/

i realize i'm late, but has anyone looked at this guy's website? LOL. he has pornographic pictures of himself scattered about and looks suspiciously like openhousejack.

[rohina]

I just learned that there's no story so bad that a bunch of random swears and lame "jokes" about eating bodily fluids can't make it worse. I bet this  was written by a 12-year-old boy.