Jul "More Awful Than You": Most Offensive Story Or Movie!

[Emma]

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=166846&asset_type=story&user_id=2241440

"A whore, a new wife, baby, and homosexuality." I feel ripped off- where's the homosexuality?

Me too-lets sign her/his guestbook to complain I love this quote:

Josh:ass whole

[jsalemi]

Me too-lets sign her/his guestbook to complain I love this quote:

Josh:ass whole

Well, I guess it's nice to know he's a whole ass and not a half-ass. 

[Invisigoth]

I also would enjoy a permanent make fun of bad stories thread. 

Mitch:What are you readin Liv?
Liv:Im learnin to cook da.
Mitch:Thats cool.Where is your mum?
Liv:Shes near the front door.Painting i think.
Mitch:Shes been painting a lot now, huh?
Liv:Yeah.
Mitch:Ever since grams passed.......i believe.
Liv:Probably.
Mitch:Im going to go out.Do you want to go with me?
Liv:I think ill finish reading.
Mitch:Alright.Bye.

An absolutely gripping read.  I knew this was going to keep me on the edge of my seat.  This one seemed like it was trying to be boring.
A Perfect Fate was just amazing.  I mean, it's like the "author" went out of the way to make the dialouge sound fake.  How could the writer not have noticed that *no one talks that way*?  At first I thought it must be written by someone who doesn't speak English as their first language, but then I noticed they were from the US.  Dammit!  We already have more than enough going on right now to make us look stupid, why are these people making it worse?!

[Marhis]

"A whore, a new wife, baby, and homosexuality."

I vote this for best caption:

Enter caption here. . .

[rohina]

Me too-lets sign her/his guestbook to complain

I was going to sign her GB, but I was laughing too hard at her bio, which reads like one of her stories.

[behold_the_muse]

I think other than the 'ass whole' line, my favorite part was:

"Dad:That's not fair.
Daughter:Love's not fair."

[Angie]

http://www.thesimsresource.com/storytelling/view.php?id=5355
I'd like to nominate this little gem from TSR.  The title alone is point-and-laugh-worthy: it's called "160 Degree Turn".     The protagonist Kaliak (Leaky for short ) finds out that her boyfriend of four months (his name is Justice-- oh the irony) has been hiding the fact that he has two daughters and a third baby on the way.  When Leaky confronts Justice for his dishonesty, he in turn confronts his baby-momma, questioning the paternity of the second daughter and essentially blaming the baby-momma for the whole mess.  I laughed out loud when I read this little snippet from the confrontation:

Justice: You know Kat your a lier. Serenaty is not mines. You know it just as much as i do. I wasnt even around when you had her.

Kathy: You a lie, she is yours you may not have laied the pipe, but it was your seed.

Bwahahahaha!  Yes, Justice really is implying that Kathy used his "seed" sometime after he "laied the pipe" [sic] in order to impregnate herself a second time.

You used my seeds to get you pregant a second time when you knew i didnt even want the first one.

(I wish there was a barf emoticon that I could insert here!)  A paternity test proved that Justice was not the father anyway, and all this talk of pregnancy by unconventional means was completely unnecessary.  In the end, all blame is placed on the baby-momma for being a psychobitch.  Leaky and Justice get married, while the still-pregnant baby-momma gets drunk at the wedding.  Classy.

[J. M. Pescado]

What kind of stripper works for minimum wage?

An ugly, fat one?

[Emma]

What kind of stripper works for minimum wage?

An ugly, fat one?

LOL!!

[ieliminate]

My favorite quotes from the perfect fate1:

Josh:Wow!I cant even get that much girls in a month!

Josh:Damnet.

Steve:I know.I realy wanted to make her part of my childrens lives.

160 Degree Turn? Not a very big turn. And, Omg....there's like a prologue to the 160 degree turn!!

These really are page turning thrillers, aren't they?

[Ellatrue]

Can we volunteer to judge? I'm loving this!

Best Quote from the Big Mistake (emphasis mine):

He said, Well in that case here. He slide a small blue box over at me. I opened it, it was a wedding ring!! I screamed, then I acted all cool and said sure whatever.

"Sure, whatever?" What are you 13 12? Oh, right...

as far as the next one goes- the mom is a STRIPPER, and yet when the girl gets pregnant, her mother kicks her out of the house?

All of these stories are making me want to do one about MY mom- a single mother who ISN'T a stripper, dependant on abusive boyfriends, addicted to drugs/alcohol, or struggling to make ends meet. Where are the stories about the single woman with a successful career and stable children, and who is doing quite well, thank you? Granted, it lacks MOAR DRAMA.

Olivia:Thats cool.The last aunt i had was a prostitute maid.
Reg:Oh.

"Oh!"

Josh:Dad...i was 11 when mom died.I do know how hard it is.But if you dont find your self a couple of hoochie mamas, then you will die a very sad and lonely man.

I love romance sims.

[Tailchaser]

"But if you dont find your self a couple of hoochie mamas, then you will die a very sad and lonely man." 

 

[kuronue]

It's too quiet in here, so I'd like to offer up this little gem: http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169356&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

Not only is there a random black-haired girl in the first panel that has nothing to do with the story, the rape count is through the roof, and it turns out this one man fathered 3 generations and yet still appears in his 30s or so.

ETA: why is there never a part 2? Well, part three is linked here. The teenage mom can't figure out how her son's name is spelled, and random teenage boys decide they want to kill babies, so she runs away, somehow able to afford a huge house in Maine despite being a teenage girl, where she is raped, yet again:
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169484&asset_type=story&user_id=3341429

[msalwaysright]

Boy, they sure like rape over at the Exchange.

I think my favorite detail is the stealth 'raper' leaving a note:

Dear girl I raped,
Sorry if I caused you any inconvenience

Nah, no bother, happens all the time.

P.S. You have a hot body and great breasts they were nice and large. =)
love,
Name withheld

=) ?? love, Name withheld ?? WTH??

Moral of the story: nannies are unreliable?

[kuronue]

not to mention the part you left out  :

Hope it works out being pregnant. Here is my phone number,- 954-726-8347. Call me!

[J. M. Pescado]

Maybe it a Japanese story. I recall a poster of how "Raping in Japan is like saying Hello!".

[Invisigoth]

Kathy: Look i know this may come as a shock, but me and my girls had to move in with Justice since we got evicted, but i have always been in the picture. now i am tellin you to step off.

Kaliak: Who do you think you are? I have never heard anything about any kids, or any other women at all. I have been with J for almost over 4 months, and i have been to his house a number of times and never did i hear about you or see anything to even hint you existed.

This reads like a Jerry Springer episode.  Evadentally. 

Kathy: Dont try to get all lovey dovey wit my child, SHE AINT YOURS.
Raven: Ignore her she gets like this at times.
Kaliak: Thank you, but trust me i can handle anything she throws at me I WILL be marring your father in a matter of months.
Raven: Kool
Kathy: Yeah right HAHAHA

Finally some realistic dialouge!

16 years later Randy still has not changed and rapes me every time my mom goes to work
He came and took me to the bed. When we got there he ripped off my clothes and thrust me under the covers.  He raped me for a wholr hour before he let me go...
My life sucks.. It turns out that I am right and that I am pregnant. I can not let Randy know about this baby. I have decided that tonightI will run away and get my own house for my baby. After all if it stays here who know's what will happen to it.

So let's review EA policy...You can't talk about sim's toilet behaviors, inteen, "adult" mods or objects, or rape mods or anything even remotely related on the BBS.  But you can use as many of them as you'd like to create your story which you can share on their exchange.  Discussion of these topics would apparently raise the almighty T-Rating of the game, but taking photographs and depicting incestual rape that leads to teen pregnancy is ok and won't raise said rating?  And if it's graphic you might even get a 4 star rating!!!11!!!!one   

[sloppyhousewife]

After reading all these (very much alike) stories, I have the impression that there must exist a "Construction Kit for Crappy Stories" somewhere:

Hi! My name ist <INSERT NAME HERE>. I want to tell you my sad story.

This is my mom, <INSERT NAME HERE>.

She's a

[ ] stripper
[ ] slut
[ ] alcoholic drinker
[ ] pot addict

(choose at least one)

This is my father, <INSERT NAME HERE>. He beats mom every day. Also, he

[ ] beats
[ ] abuses

(and) rapes me every day since I've been a 

[ ] child
[ ] teenager

(choose only one)

Mom was too

[ ] afraid
[ ] indifferent     (removed due to complicated spelling)

to help me.

Then, it happened. My stomach hurled.
OMG, Im pregnant.
OMG, twinz!!!!!1

This is my son, <INSERT COMPLICATED NAME YOU CAN'T SPELL/REMEMBER>
and my daughter <INSERT [MOM'S NAME] HERE>. I named her after my mom.

PLZ rate high!!!!!1111eleven

[baratron]

Ok, this one is pretty bad.  The tag line for the story is "She almost married a man who raped a sixteen year old girl".  The "author" is kind enough to let us know that some of her characters are from other stories she has written, but (thank goodness) s/he assures us that we don't need to have read that story to follow this one.  Basically the main character meets a man through the gypsy, immediately woohoos him and OMG! now she's pregnant.  Then she tells him and he asks her to marry him, horray!  But then he steals some of her food and she tells him she will kill him so he throws food at her.  The best part is the amazing plot twist when (under the alter as they are about to get married) he tells her that he raped a 16 year old girl last year.  Oh, and by the way, she has twins  (suprise suprise). 
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=168207&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

omg, twinz 

This emotional tale of teen pregnancy features a stripper mom (who previous to this story was a pregnant teen who's husband tried to kill her, but don't worry now he's in jail).  This one just wins for the line "Sadly, all i could do was a fill-out-send-in pregnancy tester. I filled it out, and mailed it in."  What planet is this person living on?  I mean....just WTF?!  Oh yeah, she also experienced "severe child birth". 
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=160652&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=pregnant+teen&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

I'd been going to say this story's not that bad - it featured the words "exciting" and "exuberant", spelled & used correctly! But then it degenerated. There's also a Part 2 and Part 3, progressively more unbelievable.

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=166846&asset_type=story&user_id=2241440

"A whore, a new wife, baby, and homosexuality." I feel ripped off- where's the homosexuality?

This one is so bad I have nothing to say about it. I mean, it's just nondescript bad.

Edit: Woohoo, I finally found the homosexuality. It's in Part 6. (For some reason, this story exists in Parts 1, 3, 4 and 6. And there's a huge time interval between Parts 3 & 4 with most of the characters being killed off in an unexplained way .)

Hot quotes:
Beth:I love this place.Its so much more YOU.
Ape:Thanks Beth.Sam seems to like it.
Beth:Is it a bit girly though...you know, for David.
Ape:David is a bit girly himself.
Beth:Gay?
Ape:Yeah.Hes a 15 year old who likes the hotdog more then the taco.What can i say.
...
Dav:Hello mother.
Ape:Hey David.Are those my jeans?
Dav:Yeah.Sorry i borowed them.But i needed something easy to take off.
Ape:*laughs*It seems as though you and your mans relationship has taken off.
Dav:I guess.But im looking in the fish pond for a new man.An older one.
Ape:How much older?
Dav:5 years.
Ape:Then he will be 22.
Dav:That is so hot mom.Im 17 now.....In a year ill be legal to date a 22 year old
...
Dav:Wow Sam.....that is fabulose.What is it?
Sam:Thank you.Its Bethovens 13th symphony.
Dav:Its realy good.
Sam:Whats wrong?You seem a lot less gay then usual.
Dav:Me and my man candy are having a bit of disagreement in the bedroom.Nothing you need to know about.
Sam:Whatever.

 

Here's another WTF one... gosh I didn't have to look hard, thanks to the keyword "slut"
http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=115865&asset_type=story&user_id=2241440
The best line in the whole thing though is this:
Olivia:Thats cool.The last aunt i had was a prostitute maid.

... which I find funny because isn't the whole point of being a prostitute so that you don't have to be a friggin maid?

Also nondescript bad, and coincidentally, by the same author as the last one! 

It's too quiet in here, so I'd like to offer up this little gem: http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169356&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=

Not only is there a random black-haired girl in the first panel that has nothing to do with the story, the rape count is through the roof, and it turns out this one man fathered 3 generations and yet still appears in his 30s or so.

Ha! Oh man... the girl's father also raped her grandmother and her grandmother's girlfriend, and her mother... and then killed some of the kids, and adults. Wow  .

Classic quote:
This is Daniel. I met him at the supermarket yesterday. We really hit it off. We actually fell in love to the point that he asked me to marry him! We are both teenagers and he is fine that I have a kid and that I am possibly pregnant!

The author is so 12.

[Lorelei]

sloppyh.w.: That is hysterical! *makes note to use when constructing any parodies on the future*

baratron: ROFFLE! (She reads the poo, so you don't have to!)

[rohina]

Man, that hotdog/taco metaphor was a winner.

[Ellatrue]

This is my Grandmother, Her name is Yu. Oh my god I feel so bad for her because the secret that my mom told me is that her father was Randy King (MY DAD!)

You know, I read this as the GRANDMOTHER being the child of the dad. Interesting that the story has a part 1 and a part 3 but no part 2. Perhaps she slipped up and mentioned the inteenimator?

[Invisigoth]

Sam:Whats wrong?You seem a lot less gay then usual.

I think that this is how we should respond whenever a gay member of MATY is having a bad day.  This is just too funny.

[FireFlyNine]

I now offer my own heaping helping of crap:

http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=135358&searchPage=exch&search=1&asset_type=story&key=rape&order=UPDATE_DATE+desc&nrows=5&storyCat=&locality=&country=&view=new&hideFramework=&languageCode=
Let's go through the check list shall we?
1. plot line is so 12 year old it's not even funny (not that it was funny to begin with). Check.
2. Rape. Check.
3. Girl FREAKING FALLS IN LOVE with the guy who rapes her. Check.
4. It's part of a "series". Check.
5. Bad photo taking (walls down, etc.) Check.

What a gem. 

[Marhis]

FireFlyNine: priceless  .

Hello Im Raven and I have a boyfriend.But he is a likes a rape girls. So Im going to invet him over today. Lets see what going to happen.

Inquiring minds want to know...