Jun "More Awful Than You": Stupidass Houses!

[rohina]

Toilet house! So ridiculous. 

[Emma]

Hehe I wonder what that toilet looks like in n/hood view

[Kyna]

Hehe.  I'm soooo tempted to download that toilet house.  I have some sims I don't particularly like, I could send their sim-lives down the toilet.

[witch]

You'd hate yourself in the morning though.

[Tailchaser]

Can we nominate maxis houses that come packaged with the game? Cos if so, oh boy!

[J. M. Pescado]

Who wouldn't want to live in a toilet?

SWEET. That is DEFINITELY the house for Sim-Brynne!

[floopyboo]

I'm casting my vote for the pool house.

First thing i do when I download any lot is remove all the herbage & decorations. I don not need 50 billion tons of custom content crap move-objectsed over the top of each other just because some wanker with design-aspirations thinks that it's ok to put all that crap there.

And what the hell is up with the "i'm going to twist the leaw of nature so this floor is now a roof that can't be recoloured because I'm such a wanker i have to fuck up other people's games.

I'm going to enjoy June, I think. I like getting snarky at these arsemonkeys and now I have an outlet.

[spambi]

(I don't know what the categories are for this contest so I'll make up a few of my own.) I'd like to nominate this house ( http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/lot_detail.php?asset_id=125524&asset_type=lot&user_id=682153) for "Unplayable Houses from Creators with Multiple Featured Lots on the Exchange", "Creators with Huge Egos Who Don't Playtest" and "Houses that Kill."

Not only has this house clearly not been playtested, but the total unplayability of this house makes me wonder if GodlyAce plays the sims at all or if he just builds unplayable houses all day. I downloaded this house because I was sick of building new houses for sims who had to move because of University bugginess. Unfortunately there were so many problems with the house that I had to spent a ton of time renovating it and then finally just moved my sims out.

Here's some of the problems I remember:

• No lights. Anywhere.
• Desks and the chess table all used living chairs. You know, the kind of chairs that you can't pull out to sit in
• Main floor bathroom door was blocked by a couch
• Main floor bathroom had two toilets. While double bathrooms like this might be cute in remote master bedrooms, when they're the only bathroom on the main floor, this leads to much stamping and whining from sims who see an empty toilet but can't enter the bathroom because someone is in there using the other one.
• One tile wide hallways and single staircase lead to more stomping and whining as sims constantly blocked each other from getting anywhere. While these hallways look very elegant there's a reason why I make all my hallways two tiles wide.
• Beds were blocked by plants or other objects. While it's ok to put a nightstand by the head of the bed, sims won't get in bed if there's a plant or statue in that spot.
• Rooms were too small and objects were frequently blocked. More stamping and whining.
• The slope that leads to the front steps is at a weird angle. If too many sims try to enter the house at once, some end up stamping and complaining they can't get to the stairs.

But the real reason this lot sucks and I've had it in for it for two years (I think that upload date is wrong) is that it killed my favorite sim. Here's how: The kids are at work. My favorite Sim is making breakfast while her husband naps on a twin bed upstairs. Breakfast catches on fire. There is no fire alarm, of course. My favorite sim panics, catches on fire, dies. Ok, that sucks but I've woken up her husband to go plead for her life. He wakes up, rolls out of bed and goes ... oh wait, that side of the bed is blocked by a plant. That's right, because he got out of bed on a different side than he got in, he's now trapped. And because Death is there, buy mode is greyed out and I can't move any objects. And so my favorite sim dies, killed by a lack of playtesting. I don't save and restart games so she stayed dead. I moved the family out shortly after that but I left the empty house up for her to haunt as a reminder to me to be more careful when downloading houses.

[Kyna]

I'm casting my vote for the pool house.

First thing i do when I download any lot is remove all the herbage & decorations. I don not need 50 billion tons of custom content crap move-objectsed over the top of each other just because some wanker with design-aspirations thinks that it's ok to put all that crap there.

Imagine the lag in autumn when all the leaves fall.  Not to mention that you'd need 3 gardeners to rake it all up - if they could even get to the leaves with some of the slopes those trees are on.

[Hecubus]

Well....even though it's like shooting fish in a barrel, it IS worth nominating Buntah. Here are just five of her many crimes against taste lots.

First, this strange, strange lot. Words fail.


This wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't drawn glyphs on the top and turned it into a freakshow.


It may not be too bad inside, but the outside's enough to keep me away.


yes, it's a house of windows. Windows EVERYWHERE. She must have discovered the move_objects on tool that day.


This just in: Pool water defies gravity!

[Kyna]

I don't think there is a more nauseating shade of green than the ground cover and roof in that first Buntah lot.

There was another lot earlier with ghastly ground cover.  Don't these designers (and I use the term loosely) even LOOK at the screenshots before they post them?

[frivolous]

here's 2 by some guy on sapphiresims2. that site is the epitome of everything tacky:





and this egg house by numenor. nicely done but when the fuck would you need an egg house:

[floopyboo]

I've worked Buntah out. Ex Pac-Man designer.

[Li'l Brudder]

Buntah is a universal suck!  Who'da thought?

[rohina]

What is up with all those weird-ass fish on the roof?

[Sapnish]

What is up with all those weird-ass fish on the roof?

Buntah: "Oh no, this house doesn't quite fit the quality of suck that I usually aspire to. How can I make it worse....FISH!"

[Lorelei]

Aw, you beat me to the egg house. Bummer.

No one has posted the Community Lot shaped like a black cat, yet.

If no one finds it before I do, I'll post it.

[Zeljka]

damn, I want to play too but I delete things I hate almost immediately.

I do recall downloading about 30 sucky dorms from TSR when I first got Uni...

*thinks the pool 'waterfall' idea is kinda cool, if not for the hideous tiles around it.

[Iolanthe]

http://www.xmsims.com/sims2/ehtm/simerhouse/residential02.htm


Not as bad as some of the TSR ones, certainly, but the strangely square moat defies logic.  I cringe at the thought of the foundation problems a real house would have if it looked like that.  And what about the bizarre roof configuration?  It's bigger than the house itself.  The whole thing gives the vague impression of a water cleaning plant (you know, with the separated square pools of muck) crossed with a marijuana farm (assuming that's what the green things in the lower left corner are - I'm certainly not downloading that into my game!).  I get the feeling some people would object if that actually appeared on the Champs-Elysees in Paris...

[Flamingo]

How strange! Looking at the first floor with a top-down view shows her penchant for ceiling lights, while she only has four on the second story.

here's 2 by some guy on sapphiresims2. that site is the epitome of everything tacky:

Just looking at the house in picture number two hurts my head.

[Iolanthe]

I just waded through 19 pages of feeEssen's crimes, just in case she had a lot in there somewhere...  The woman has committed 295 crimes against good taste, ranging from "New Mesh - Edible Carrot!" to "New Mesh - Spirited Kitchen Cupboards!" to "Winter Japanese Autumn Horn" to my personal favourites, "new Mesh - Mangle!" and "new Mesh - Street Lanterns with and without dog!"  No houses, though.  It's just as well - I'm not sure I could stomach an entire house full of strangely lumpy pastel things!

[Bangelnuts]

Eeek These buntah houses are hideous ,I am glad I am not a judge.I build boxes with roofs but at least they are useable  

[Sapnish]

I am glad I am not a judge. 

If I've been paying attention to the history of that statement in these contests correctly, you are soon to be a judge now.

[Zazazu]

Who wouldn't want to live in a toilet?

SWEET. That is DEFINITELY the house for Sim-Brynne!

Heeehee. Unfortunately, my grilled cheese zombies are already being tortured by having to live in the House of Brie and the House of Swiss (yup, shaped like cheese wedges). Otherwise that would be a great option.

Oh, and I want that egg house. Seriously. With the chickens. My neighborhood's on crack already. All-knowing mimes living in a phone booth, eleven GCZ's stealing papers to hoard in their houses of cheese, a cheerleader who beats the crap out of everyone she meets, children who turn into maniacal murders later on because they were scared too badly when plummeting in an elevator....yeah. The house would fit right in.

[Li'l Brudder]

WTF on "Hitler's House?"

It's the German crest!  That is NOT a Nazi symbol like the swastika!