What I'm suggesting is that purely physical attraction may be more binary, but that other forms of intimacy may draw us to become sexually expressive with individuals who aren't as physically compelling to us.
You expressed the ideas way more eloquently than I. I agree, emotional intimacy is a pre-requisite to a relationship with a woman whereas a one-off bonk tended to be male. (I say that in the past tense deliberately, I've been happily celibate for the last few years).
Maybe you just didn't kiss the right girl Neriana?