No longer in love but still have sorta-romantic wants?

[Athena]

I notice that Sims still roll semi-romantic wants for Sims they're no longer in love with - wants such as giving backrubs to ex-lovers, or just desiring to constantly talk to ex-lovers (more so than with their best friends or family members).  This is the case even for Sims who aren't Romance Sims - I've had it happen mostly to Knowledge Sims (both Sims who were created as Knowledge Sims and have always remained such, and for Sims who were originally Romance Sims but were then changed to Knowlege Sims).

This semi-obsessive behavior happens normally when Sims fall in love in game, then fall out of love in game.  The Sims still want to talk and appreciate their ex-lovers, even when furious, and even ages later when they've fallen in love with other Sims.  I've seen this phenomenon mentioned on this board before, but I don't recall the reasoning behind it.

Furthermore, it also happens when: a) the Sims fall in love in game, b) in SimPE, I then remove the crush/love flags, and c) then I also remove all memories they had (and invisible memories other Sims had) of falling in love, kissing, woohooing, cheating, etc.

Is there some way in SimPe to make Sims fall completely out of love, to remove this obsessive effect?  I hate the "backrub/talk to" wants clogging up my want slots.  Usually, they only spin some of their more recent ex-loves, and not much older ones, suggesting recency has some effect.  And given that I've removed crush/love flags and the memories in SimPE, it seems some aspect of "Sim love memory" is also stored elsewhere.

[Oddysey]

Probably has something to do with want trees. Removing the love flags doesn't remove all the wants that have been satisfied relating to the other sims, and the wants that satisfying those wants opened up. Ignore the wants, and they should go away. Eventually.

Knowledge sims are particularly vulnerable to want tree induced obsession, even with current lovers.

[eaglezero]

I don't know if you can make sims stop doing this. It is kind of annoying. I've noticed it with my sims a lot, too. You can easily satisfy the "talk to" want by calling the other sim up for a chat. That's how I've been handling this phenomenon with my sims.

[J. M. Pescado]

Giving in tends to make it worse.

[skandelouslala]

Yup, giving in to any want that obsessive tends to make them obsess more.  Even calling them to chat often leads to other wants surrouding the sim in question and if not, the next day the "talk to" want is likely to roll up again.

I hate how after a nasty divorce where attacking one another was taking place, sims will still roll up the want to talk to, play, flirt..whatever with their ex partner.

[Inge]

I think it is true to life though.  Even after an acrimonious divorce or breakup, we're still more interested to hear news of the ex than we are about Joe Bloggs down the road who seems like an averagely reasonable person.   How many of us haven't been tempted to see if we can still stir that spark of something in an ex?

[syberspunk]

How many of us haven't been tempted to see if we can still stir that spark of something in an ex?

Evil...

Ste

[windy_moon]

I think it is true to life though.  Even after an acrimonious divorce or breakup, we're still more interested to hear news of the ex than we are about Joe Bloggs down the road who seems like an averagely reasonable person.   How many of us haven't been tempted to see if we can still stir that spark of something in an ex?

*nods*

I had that with Daniel Pleasant and Mary Sue when they had a very nasty breakup at the beginning of my Pleasantview.  

Daniel was married to Kaylynn, but still spun wants occasionally to talk to and flirt with Mary Sue.   Mary Sue was making her own life, but still spun the occasional fear of Daniel's death.  

I thought it was (dare I say about pixels) poigniant.  Certainly experienced those kinds of less than rational urges in my own life.

They spoke with each other on the phone a few times (when I needed the aspiration meter boost), but otherwise kept the wants to themselves and the eventually faded as time went on.  Made for a nice little story.

Sniff.  

[J. M. Pescado]

How many of us haven't been tempted to see if we can still stir that spark of something in an ex?

I'm pretty sure that's illegal. Even if it is satisfying, homicide and arson are generally frowned upon.

[Lythdan]

Yeah, I had two sims break up recently, and for some reason after the furiousness was over, he was 0/0, and she was 80/80. She kept continously rolling up the want to fall in love with him when she was dates with other men. I felt like shouting to her 'that's your EX, remember?'

[Ancient Sim]

As I mentioned recently in another thread, my Sims always seem to fear the deaths of their former partners.  Robert Broke, for instance (Brandi's third), went steady twice in his teens, one of his steadies eventually marrying Beau.  He met his wife as an adult and they were always a very devoted couple (both Family, they had 6 kids), but throughout his life his fears panel has always carried the fear of the death of his wife and these two former steady girlfriends.  Nothing else has ever taken their place and everyone concerned is an elder now apart from one of the forrner steadies, who isn't far off.  He's remained best friends with both the steadies throughout his life, too and they often go on outings together.  I've other Sims who do this or similar things, such as Don Lothario who has a permanent fear of falling out of love with Dina, even though he's been through two old age lifespans and she's actually been dead what amounts to about 30 years now.

[skandelouslala]

Yeah, I had two sims break up recently, and for some reason after the furiousness was over, he was 0/0, and she was 80/80. She kept continously rolling up the want to fall in love with him when she was dates with other men. I felt like shouting to her 'that's your EX, remember?'

Meh.  I'm convinced that something is wonky with the whole spinning of of "fall in love with so & so" and "get engaged/married to so & so" that only appears during dates.  Even romance sims suddenly decide they want to tie the knot during dates.

[BlueSoup]

Even romance sims suddenly decide they want to tie the knot during dates.

Funny, my Romance Sims don't want to get married on dates - they still have it listed as fears.  I don't think I'd even make them get married if they were all not afraid of it, as I don't like to make my Sims cheat on each other.  Now, if only they didn't fall in love with each other all over the place  , it'd be a lot easier to play them how they are intended.

[Swiftgold]

Even romance sims suddenly decide they want to tie the knot during dates.

Funny, my Romance Sims don't want to get married on dates - they still have it listed as fears.  I don't think I'd even make them get married if they were all not afraid of it, as I don't like to make my Sims cheat on each other.  Now, if only they didn't fall in love with each other all over the place  , it'd be a lot easier to play them how they are intended.

I had a Fortune Sim (one of my favorite Sims right now) who kept spinning the want to get engaged to his girlfriend after having his first kiss with her at Uni. After graduating he spun the want to get married to her, have a wedding party, and also get married to a rich Sim, while fearing being left at the altar. After they were married he rolled up the want for a baby. Needless to say, he got all his wishes

I've NEVER seen that before in hundreds of Sims, not even Family Sims - the closest I've ever gotten is one particular Family Sim who wanted to get engaged to a lover who was already married. All the rest were generic marriage wants, except on dates - I've come to expect them to want to get married on a date if they're already in love :\

[Pegasys]

I've seen this phenomenon before, and it makes it more realistic to me. I mean even if you're broken up and supposedly no longer in love, if you have a history with someone, it makes sense you still may have the wants to interact with that person. I made this direct one of my "stories" and got back together two Sims who had had a complete falling apart just because my Sim (a Knowledge Sim) kept spinning wants over and over to see her ex-husband-recently-resurrected-but-left-at-altar fiance.

I've had a Romance Sim spin the wants to get married, too. It always happened when she was on a date, suddenly she'd spin the want to get married to one of her ex-loves. Once I locked it right away since I wanted to head her in that direction (time for her to settle down) but then that love saw her on a date with someone else, and there went THAT relationship. Now she's pregnant with Don Lothario's baby, but not engaged, we'll see where that goes....

[Ellatrue]

I actually feel that it makes sense for them to fear the death of former partners. My "high school sweetheart" died a few months ago and I was really upset, even though he was kind of a loser and I no longer loved him.

[J. M. Pescado]

I actually feel that it makes sense for them to fear the death of former partners. My "high school sweetheart" died a few months ago and I was really upset, even though he was kind of a loser and I no longer loved him.

Yes, but you're kind of a wuss. I've never had anyone I took a dislike to that I wouldn't be happy to see die. I'm consistent like that.

[Avie]

Well yes J.M we kinda noticed your over-sensitive compassionate tendencies,
But annoying recurring wants are a particular bugbear of mine. For example I currently have a gen 7 Legacy sim who rolled a fortune aspiration that was really not suited to her nice, outgoing and playful personality at all. She did OK as an adult but as an elder ALL she ever rolls as wants are a) To write a novel b) to have a grandchild and c) to get another job.
I have no chance at all of her kicking the great celestial bucket in the sky in platinum. I just cannot get her off these recurring wants jags,

[J. M. Pescado]

Have her check someone out, that tends to push a reroll. That, and the LTW thing might be worth pursuing also, so you won't be enslaved to recurring want jags. That, and legacy sucks. We don't support the non-use of awesomefixes.

[Lythdan]

Yes, but Avie is a Mac user and doesn't have Uni. 

[sara_dippity]

Yes, but Avie is a Mac user and doesn't have Uni. 

Good lord, why?

[J. M. Pescado]

Yes, but Avie is a Mac user and doesn't have Uni. 

Oh, well, in that case, you're screwed.

[Avie]

Royally.