Important notice from the GRAMMAR POLICE. Plz read. This means you.

[Jelenedra]

The monkey is on the table. WHY is the monkey on the table? </Eddie Izzard>

[rohina]

So, since we don't speak your favorite language, you're going to go trolling so you can tell us we're doing it wrong?  I'm not particularly fond of French, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go to a board where people speak French occasionally and tell them all to STFU and that US English is the One True Language.

What the hell did French ever do to you?

[rufio]

Nothing; it's just not as aesthetically pleasing to me as other languages.  I don't have anything against someone preferring one language to another, really, as long as no one is telling anyone else what they should be speaking.

For the record, English is not my favorite language in certain respects either (mostly phonology and orthography), though the fact that it's largely analytic is somewhat attractive to me.

[Audrey]

So, since we don't speak your favorite language, you're going to go trolling so you can tell us we're doing it wrong?

You are taking this way too personally.  Did I say that that?  

Why do you think I am trolling?

I have a feeling I am not welcome here so will take myself off forthwith.  Although it is a shame that someone can't come onto a thread called the GRAMMAR POLICE and air a few grievances about the state of the English language, whether it be US or UK.  

You can all put your shields and swords away.

[spaceface]

A flounce, so soon? 

[socurious]

Did we just witness a flame-and-run?  What IS a troll then?

[Jelenedra]

We didn't feed it, so it's leaving. =p

[Lorelei]

Did we just witness a flame-and-run?  What IS a troll then?

Well, some trolls apparently harbour strange grievances towards the French and their supposedly idiotic refusal to speak the Language Of Linguists, Anglish.

Or something. Sorry, I dozed off.

[spaceface]

It's OK for you, but I live at the far end of the interwebs and people from my neck of the woods don't seem to turn up on MATY much. Why did this one have to be a flouncer with no staying power 

[Audrey]

It's OK for you, but I live at the far end of the interwebs and people from my neck of the woods don't seem to turn up on MATY much. Why did this one have to be a flouncer with no staying power 

Hi y'all,  are the WMDs put away yet?  Well, the thread seems to have died a death since my 'flounce' as Space Cadet' so creatively put it,  so for your enjoyment I have returned to point more fingers at the grammatical idiosyncracies of US/UK English and also to point out the many grammatical and spelling mistakes made by the compadres on here which is ironic given the name of the thread.  Let me start with spacecadet who left a question mark off the end of her post.  An oversight I'm sure    

Notice, I did not say 'off of' as the 'of' is totally superfluous, but this is yet another US grammatical idiosyncracy which I abhor.  Why are there so many in one language?  I much prefer the more natural 'outta' here as everyone knows that it is a contraction of 'out of" but 'off of' has me really puzzled. 

Whatever a troll is, I don't think I am one.     Or maybe one of you erudite people can enlighten those of us who don't know and then we will all know.

*Presses 'Post' before she changes her mind and deletes the post*

[Georgette]

I thought you were leaving?

Are you trying to get soup status?

[spaceface]

@ Audrey: If you google "internet troll" you can find information on what they are.

Don't bother trying to troll me, as I won't bite.

[Audrey]

@ Audrey: If you google "internet troll" you can find information on what they are.

Don't bother trying to troll me, as I won't bite.

Hey, TSC (for short).  Where are you from?

Hi Lorelei, what's soup status?  If I have to eat soup, I'm exiting, stage left. 

[Georgette]

Actually it was me that accused you of souping.

Edited to show definition of souping:
Souped - Gain notability, then leave in (or due to) a dramabomb explosion. Bonus points if you say something to the effect of "I'M NEVER COMING BACK" and return 1 or 2 weeks later. Lips change to .

[Audrey]

From our good freind Wiki.  "A troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or collaborative content community with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional or disciplinary response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion."

Nope, that is definitely not I.  I tell it like I see it, not to provoke a particular response.  However, unintentionally, I may be found under the bridge.  

[Georgette]

Friend is spelt f-r-i-e-n-d.

And yes, you could be defined as a troll as you just keep trying to piss everyone off. I'll stop feeding the troll now in a hope you'll starve off.

[Audrey]

Actually it was me that accused you of souping.

Edited to show definition of souping:
Souped - Gain notability, then leave in (or due to) a dramabomb explosion. Bonus points if you say something to the effect of "I'M NEVER COMING BACK" and return 1 or 2 weeks later. Lips change to .

Oops, sorry Georgette!

Well, I never said I was 'NEVER COMING BACK', but I hadn't really intended to post again, merely to lurk.   Couldn't resist returning so that I can practise becoming a troll, now that I know what one is.  

Just read your post G.  I have always had trouble with that bloody word (frIend).  I even said to myself as I was typing it 'i before e.......' and still typed it incorrectly.  

Deep down in their hearts, every forum poster loves a troll because he/she makes threads interesting, so even though it was not my intention to troll, I do like to shake things up and get people thinking.

Feed me, don't feed me, not really bothered.

[rohina]

Audrey, what you need to do is go to the members' list, search for "Celestard" and then press "read latest posts". Depending on how stupid you are, 2-3 pages should do it. You could also try doing this with "rufio".

[rufio]

You could also try doing this with "rufio".

I thought you had decided I was insane, not a troll?

Personally, I am perfectly willing to bet that Audrey is a genuinely xeonphobic linguistically ignorant dumbass rather than a troll.  God knows there's plenty of those around here already.

[TheQuietOne]

This is like asking why the Romans decided to stop speaking Latin and start speaking Italian (was there something wrong with Latin?!!!!1111)

Romans? Italian? You might want to reconsider what you wrote because it is painfully wrong.

[rufio]

This is like asking why the Romans decided to stop speaking Latin and start speaking Italian (was there something wrong with Latin?!!!!1111)

Romans? Italian? You might want to reconsider what you wrote because it is painfully wrong.

Well, the current denizens of Rome do, in fact, speak Italian, and it's not like all of the Romans living in Rome were suddenly wiped out by a natural disaster and then replaced with people who were exactly the same except that they were now called "Italians".

[Audrey]

Personally, I am perfectly willing to bet that Audrey is a genuinely xeonphobic linguistically ignorant dumbass rather than a troll.  God knows there's plenty of those around here already.

Hey 'dumbass' yourself, Rufio. I have never insulted you 'personally', so why do you feel the need to insult me?  Now that is what I call trolling.  

If you bother to read back on my posts you may gather, from the standard of the English in them, that I am far from 'linguistically ignorant'.  Latin and French were two of my matric subjects and I did further studies in French and German, and English was one of my majors at University, so if you are going to insult me, try picking on things that I am not good at.  Sports? Now, I really suck at sports.

Actually, if I was xenophobic (not 'xeonphobic'. Pot, kettle springs to mind), that is, have an irrational fear of foreign places and things, I probably wouldn't have had the guts to live in South Africa, Ireland, Singapore, Australia, as well as holiday in the really scary parts of Britain, the US, Switzerland and Thailand.  

I notice scores of people took you up on your bet but I think you have lost your own bet. However here's something I would bet on - you haven't left the shores of US.  Surprise me!  

*Inflammatory observation warning*  (Could be considered troll-like, but isn't).

I have had the pleasure, seriously, of traversing your lovely country and I am afraid that I have not come across a more ignorant, insular and xenophobic nation regarding things foreign.  I mean, seriously, I was asked on more than one occasion, aren't I afraid of the wild animals that roam our 'African' streets???  There seems to be no knowledge of the distinction between the continent of Africa and the various countries which make up the whole.  

In my opinion and generally-speaking, American general knowledge about things beyond their own little American world is woeful. But, let me not be unfair, our Australian and UK cousins are nearly as bad.

Xenophobic? No.  Critical?  Yes.

[Roflganger]

There are plenty, and I mean *plenty*, of South Africans who are just as ignorant of what goes on outside SA's borders, and particularly within America's, as there are Americans with small worldviews.  On a daily basis, I meet people who paint the very large country that is the USA with one broad brush, as if a few singular instances of ignorance define the entire country.  How small minded is that?  

Of the South Africans I've met, I'd say 75% have never been stepped foot off the continent.  Some of the ones I've met have little concept that there's a difference between America and Canada.  A significant portion have a negative view of America and its citizens in general based on no personal experience whatsoever, and always express surprise at the fact that I turn out not to be a loud, obnoxious, Hawaiian shirt-wearing buffoon who only knows how to talk about guns and beer.  

If I take off my shoes, I can count the number of people that I haven't heard used racial slurs (even cleverly disguised ones) or who don't treat black people differently than white people. Yet I manage not to make sweeping generalizations that the lot of South Africa is composed of ignorant, racist idiots who all wear light blue and khaki shirts with dark blue pockets.  Funny how that works.

But of course, I am just one American out of many.  I wouldn't expect people to base their opinion of my country on their experiences with me.  That would just be stupid.

[spaceface]

I South Africa and there are wild animals roaming in the streets AS I WRITE. Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

However, sweeping generalizations FTL. Trolls, the lot of you. Pah.

[CheritaChen]

Here's something you obviously missed in your vaunted education:

Hey 'dumbass' yourself, Rufio. I have never insulted you 'personally' <snip>

Wrapping something in single quotes is not a proper way to emphasize. Quotes are for quotation of exact speech or text, or to imply that the chosen word is dubious in its usage.

Cut that shit out, or I'll have to beat you over the head with Fowler. Watch out, because even my paperback copy weighs a good two pounds.