Important notice from the GRAMMAR POLICE. Plz read. This means you.

[J. M. Pescado]

As for spelling reform, there has been (and still is) a school of thought that English should be phonemic, or something, and that we should just get rid of silent letters or ridiculous spellings from French, and so forth.  I don't particularly sympathize with them, not because I like the French spellings and silent letters, but because if you change the way English is spelled then everyone has to re-learn how to read.

You mean like in this classic piece?
I seem to recall that if such proposals were implemented, we would end up speaking German.

[Jelenedra]

Gawd, Eddie Izzard. I love that man, but I have to watch him in subtitles. WTF, dude. I bought one of his CDs, I had SEEN the stand up before, but I couldn't understand one word of what he said on the CD.

[CheritaChen]

Gawd, Eddie Izzard. I love that man, but I have to watch him in subtitles. WTF, dude. I bought one of his CDs, I had SEEN the stand up before, but I couldn't understand one word of what he said on the CD.

Funny, I have no problem with Eddie's accent. Sometimes I do encounter an accent that makes me feel like an idiot because I know it's still English, but I can't parse it. This happened, I am chagrined to say, the first time I put on the DVD of Trainspotting. I had to read subtitles for the whole beginning monologue, and then again every time Begbie spoke. Fortunately, once I read the words, I could from then on actually hear them, too.

[Jelenedra]

He was okay during his newer stand up, where he was wearing all black, instead of the kimono thing? He spoke a lot slower there. And he didn't have 15 minutes of French. =p

[rufio]

As for spelling reform, there has been (and still is) a school of thought that English should be phonemic, or something, and that we should just get rid of silent letters or ridiculous spellings from French, and so forth.  I don't particularly sympathize with them, not because I like the French spellings and silent letters, but because if you change the way English is spelled then everyone has to re-learn how to read.

You mean like in this classic piece?
I seem to recall that if such proposals were implemented, we would end up speaking German.

Ha - yes, exactly.

To people who think this is a troll, I'd like to point out that more regular MATYzens have had this argument with me in perfect seriousness before.

[maxon]

Gawd, Eddie Izzard. I love that man, but I have to watch him in subtitles. WTF, dude. I bought one of his CDs, I had SEEN the stand up before, but I couldn't understand one word of what he said on the CD.

It wasn't the one he did in French, was it?  Or did that one not make it over there?  Eddie kills me.

Funny, I have no problem with Eddie's accent. Sometimes I do encounter an accent that makes me feel like an idiot because I know it's still English, but I can't parse it. This happened, I am chagrined to say, the first time I put on the DVD of Trainspotting. I had to read subtitles for the whole beginning monologue, and then again every time Begbie spoke. Fortunately, once I read the words, I could from then on actually hear them, too.

Quite a few of us south of the border would have trouble with broad Glaswegian but most Scots are fathomable for the English.  Robert Carlyle is a big favourite here: he started out on TV in Hamish MacBeth - most entertaining.  I loved Trainspotting, book and film.  

[chaos]

Haha, in the American release of Trainspotting (the book), there was an entire glossary of terms that one had to learn in order to understand the Scottish slang and much of the brogue. I had no trouble understanding the dialog in the film, except for a few of Spud's lines.

[DrNerd]

To people who think this is a troll, I'd like to point out that more regular MATYzens have had this argument with me in perfect seriousness before.

Yes, well, YOU are nonstandardly amusing, whereas Audrey is a haughty, holier-than-thou, supercilious bitch.

Oh, sorry, I'm American, so I have to be all stupid-like.

Rufio, yer fun-dum, Audrey's lahdidah-dum.  Dese kolour dont runs!

[CheritaChen]

Haha, in the American release of Trainspotting (the book), there was an entire glossary of terms that one had to learn in order to understand the Scottish slang and much of the brogue. I had no trouble understanding the dialog in the film, except for a few of Spud's lines.

Oh man, I had forgotten about the glossary! I saw the film many, many times before I finally got and read the novel (backwards, I know, but I have my lust for Ewan McGregor to thank for introducing me to Danny Boyle movies), so it wasn't as difficult to read the dialectal narrative as it might have otherwise been. I don't remember being as impressed with the sequel Porno, but it has been a while and I don't remember much about it. I should re-read them soon.

I've seen Robert Carlyle in a few things since Trainspotting and didn't have as much trouble understanding him. Either I adapted to his speech, or those characters weren't quite so in-your-face regional as Begbie.

The contrast between his clipped delivery and Ewan's own musical, more lilting speech is quite amusing, too. But the man still can't really do a decent American accent, poor dear.

[Jelenedra]

I think Robert upped the accent for Trainspotting. He wasn't nearly so bad in Ravenous or 28 Weeks Later.
(I will not admit to seeing Eragorn, but he wasn't bad there either)

@Maxon: Yes, it was the one where he did the 10+ minutes in French. It's much easier to understand it when you can see him gesturing what the words mean. =p

[CheritaChen]

Part of the hilarity was his choice of random things for the monkey to do, and him scrambling to find words to describe them. I don't speak a word of French, but with him pantomiming the whole thing, it was a scream. Cheeky monkey!

[Lorelei]

My problem isn't so much accents as mumblers.

I have no difficulties understanding Eddie Izzard, even in French. (It helps that his French is pretty simple, and that I have heard his routines in English first.)

Trainspotting was pretty easy, becuase I'd read the book and gotten the accent "in my head" beforehand (though, yes, Spud and Begbie were the most difficult accents; Spud kind of speaks his own language, likesay, catboy).

I even understood about 90% of the Brad Pitt (invented, I assume) "pikey" accent in Snatch. Jwerna duhg? Snahz duhg! Dun baht. Gudduhg. Tekdeh duhg.

For more incomprehensibility from another land, I understood the disturbed black woman ("Soulja Girl") ranting on the MARTA train (as shown on YT). I didn't know what a "Young Jeezy" was, but that's just a cultural issue.

But mumblers are my bane. The range of my hearing, high and low, is great, but I have slight middle ear deafness ("crowd deafness") that turns mumbles to mush, especially if there is background noise. Films that play background music or noises at nearly the same freq. as the people speaking...ooh, I hate that. I suspect that adjusting to it, and having a mostly deaf grandfather and totally deaf friend, has made me better at articulating clearly (when I must, I can mumble sometimes, too) as well as at understanding accents slightly easier.

[reggikko]

But mumblers are my bane. The range of my hearing, high and low, is great, but I have slight middle ear deafness ("crowd deafness") that turns mumbles to mush, especially if there is background noise. Films that play background music or noises at nearly the same freq. as the people speaking...ooh, I hate that.

Hey, I have that, too. I didn't know it had an actual name. I think mine comes from listening to too much overly loud music as a teen. We didn't have all these fancy warnings like you whippersnappers do.

[DrNerd]

But mumblers are my bane. The range of my hearing, high and low, is great, but I have slight middle ear deafness ("crowd deafness") that turns mumbles to mush, especially if there is background noise. Films that play background music or noises at nearly the same freq. as the people speaking...ooh, I hate that.

Hey, I have that, too. I didn't know it had an actual name. I think mine comes from listening to too much overly loud music as a teen. We didn't have all these fancy warnings like you whippersnappers do.

I am totally guilty of mumbling, but I can enunciate when I need to.  I agree that it's not always easy to decipher.  I just had to go through an automated phone menu where the recorded voice sounded a whole lot like Alvin the chipmunk with a mouthful of oatmeal speaking from the bottom of an oil drum.  I either paid my phone bill or ordered a Russian bride.  Time will tell which!

[Lorelei]

I either paid my phone bill or ordered a Russian bride.  Time will tell which!

So, either way, you won.

Of course, you may have just adopted a dog.

(PRESS ONE FOR ENGLISH, PRESS 2 FOR PIKEY, PRESSOS TRES PARA GRINGOBOT HABLAR DEE ESPANOLOS.
*boop*
Wotcher. Jwerna duhg? Snahz duhg. Dun baht...mooch.)

[DrNerd]

I either paid my phone bill or ordered a Russian bride.  Time will tell which!

So, either way, you won.

Of course, you may have just adopted a dog.

(PRESS ONE FOR ENGLISH, PRESS 2 FOR PIKEY, PRESSOS TRES PARA GRINGOBOT HABLAR DEE ESPANOLOS.
*boop*
Wotcher. Jwerna duhg? Snahz duhg. Dun baht...mooch.)

Yes, but I live in California!  When my Russian bride gets here, she'll be so upset since we can't get married.  And I really don't want to move to Iowa.

[Audrey]

Hi, y'all.  I haven't been on for a couple of days so forgive me for rehashing stuff appearing a page back, but I could not let this one go.  

whereas Audrey is a haughty, holier-than-thou, supercilious bitch.

Whoa, that's a bit strong.  What a pity you couldn't continue the alliteration

Not a troll at all, just a purist English-lover.  I am not trying to stir, just airing my peeves.
Another one for the record.  It bugs the shit out of me when I hear, again on TV, the incorrect use of either, or and neither, nor.  1 out of a 100 times, I will hear ' I don't like that man', said Jane.  'Me either', said Joan.   What has happened to the double negative?  Sure, we all get what she is trying to say, but it is just plain ignorance and bad grammar.  

STFU Audrey - you're making me embarassed to be English.

Actually, I'm not English (as born in England), so don't be embarrassed.  Be embarrassed that you are not defending the correct usage of your mother tongue.  

I'm sorry that I appear to be hitting on the Americans, and that it is perceived to be bitchy, but what I hear on American TV is the source of my pet peeves.  You should see me cringe at the pronunciations and incorrect grammar of my fellow, darker-hued compatriots on SATV as they mutilate the English language.  

Spelling, labor vs labour, I can understand, yeah, yeah, it is an evolution of the language, but it is one that I don't like but will have to accept.  

I like standards whereby if I hear or see something that is totally contrary to what I have been taught is textbook English, I have something by which to measure its incorrectness.

Peace.

[spaceface]

@ Audrey: You're South African, aren't you? So you made it to MATY from the far end of the internets.

I will give you a brief summary of what people have been trying to explain, and what you should already know: US English and UK English are two different languages. Just ask your Operating System.

[Audrey]

@ Audrey: You're South African, aren't you? So you made it to MATY from the far end of the internets.

I will give you a brief summary of what people have been trying to explain, and what you should already know: US English and UK English are two different languages. Just ask your Operating System.

Thanks, I pretty much figured that out. 
Yeah, discovered MATY and this thread on a link from Mod the Sims and since I love English (UK that is) I quickly jumped onto this thread to air my pet peeves about US English, although I am aware that it is here to stay.

[maxon]

Yeah - except in reality there's no such thing as 'correct' UK English.  It changes all the time, just like any other language.  Sure, the change may be slow but, y'know, if languages didn't change with time, we'd all still be speaking the Ur language.  There's an argument to be made for asking people to use language (on boards like this) in a way that is comprehensible, elegant and sensible and follows rules we all (maybe) understand but to focus on differences in the use of language in separate and different cultures and say that one is wrong is just stupid even if they do nominally use the same language. 

Typical it would be an 'outsider' who insists on applying over-strict 'correct' rules of English for the English. 

[Jelenedra]

Apparently, She Knows Better Than You. We should just agree with her and try to be perfect like her.

[PirateFaafy]

There is, however, something to be said about certain evolutions that should really be repressed for the sake of sanity, such as the movement that exists in high school environments known as "I should be allowed to spell things however I want, since languages are always changing". Usually, I just direct them to the works of Geoffrey Chaucer.

[Jelenedra]

Yeaaaah, you can spell NAMES however you want. Sounds like those students need to have some spelling tests that count for 20% of their final grade. Along with essays that having 10% knocked off for too many spelling errors.

[rufio]

Another one for the record.  It bugs the shit out of me when I hear, again on TV, the incorrect use of either, or and neither, nor.  1 out of a 100 times, I will hear ' I don't like that man', said Jane.  'Me either', said Joan.   What has happened to the double negative?

I believe it's simply short for "I don't either", since negatives are generally marked with the auxiliary in English anyway.  I don't know why it's "me", but the for the record I've also heard "me neither".

There is, however, something to be said about certain evolutions that should really be repressed for the sake of sanity, such as the movement that exists in high school environments known as "I should be allowed to spell things however I want, since languages are always changing".

Yeah, that's not "evolution".

Yeah, discovered MATY and this thread on a link from Mod the Sims and since I love English (UK that is) I quickly jumped onto this thread to air my pet peeves about US English, although I am aware that it is here to stay.

So, since we don't speak your favorite language, you're going to go trolling so you can tell us we're doing it wrong?  I'm not particularly fond of French, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go to a board where people speak French occasionally and tell them all to STFU and that US English is the One True Language.

[CheritaChen]

I'm not particularly fond of French, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go to a board where people speak French occasionally and tell them all to STFU and that US English is the One True Language.

Why not? It sounds like a lovely way to entertain yourself. Just imagine how indignant and rude you might goad them into being! Perhaps you would even learn new obscenities in French. Then you could report back here and tell us all about it.

Le singe est sur la branche....