More Awful Than You! December: 'tis the season!

[Gwill]

I want useless, ugly, borked and weird holiday themed items!  Any holiday will do, no matter how obscure, and not limited to the wintery ones.  Any class of items, buy mode, build mode, bodyshop or hacks; bring it on!
It's extra fun if you can spot items obviously made by people who have no experience with the holiday in question, like Europeans making Thanksgiving decorations, or Americans trying to honour some obscure Japanese festival, and getting it completely wrong.  Related anecdotes are encouraged.

Rules:
1. It must be a real item. Item must not be made by you or anyone on your site. No, you may not create an awful entry just for this purpose.
2. Item must be have been created BEFORE this contest! No creating an awful item just to win!
3. It must be from a real site. Somebody's Angelfryer or Geoshitties page is not a real site. Bonus points if it's a paysite!
4. It must be awful. The most awful winning entry will be chosen by a panel of selected judges and the winner will be awarded a free month's subscription.
5. Items must be submitted by the deadline, the end of the month, Server Time.
6. Submissions must be posted here, with pictures. Show off the awfulness! Bonus points if the screenshots were from the site of the item itself, meaning it looks bad even in the propaganda photos!
7. Carla Niven is disqualified. We already know he'd win. Besides, Freewebs is not a real site.

Judges will be shanghaied along the way, rules might change as we see fit.
And just because an item is technically disqualified doesn't mean you can't post a picture for us to point and laugh at, this goes double for this month, since people are just getting into the festive spirit.

Judges: Liveangel, MsMaria

[Giggy]

This is the best that I could find at the moment, who would want to be caught in that?
http://thumbs2.modthesims2.com/images11/MTS2_406894_mistress_moo_front.jpg

Oh and do we have edible St Nicks or is it confused with hollow chocolate bunnies
http://thumbs2.modthesims2.com/images4/MTS2_156936_Lethe_s_sinterklaas.jpg

[MsMaria]

Hmmm, to judge or not to judge....that be the question...

[Hejira]

I'm having trouble making the distinction between general Christmas gaudiness and utter crap.

This is a good start, though:

http://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/sims2/objects/furnishing/decorative/163655/
It's a Buntah mesh, but someone else recoloured it. I honestly couldn't tell.

ETA: Oh god.

http://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/sims2/objects/furnishing/beds/236574/
Because who doesn't want to sleep in a bed with tissue paper sheets and a poor print design? The pillow looks like something that something else chewed and spat back out.

[Eleonora]

Oh and do we have edible St Nicks or is it confused with hollow chocolate bunnies
http://thumbs2.modthesims2.com/images4/MTS2_156936_Lethe_s_sinterklaas.jpg

To be fair, Sinterklaas candy really often does look badly textured

although Lethe_S does take it to a new level.

[MsMaria]

Eleonora!   Say, Jak, got pics?

[veilchen]

From the folks at TSR

Here's one:



I'm sorry, but this is just...., well, it's plain ugly. Poor cat. For those who like to look where the cat came from:

http://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/sims2/search_christmas%20cat/page4in2019items/

Here's a very strange one:



I truly don't know what to say about that one. Here's the linky for those who would like to torture their pixel people:

http://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/sims2/search_christmas/page16in2019items/

start picking nit/Oh, by the way. We Europeans do have Thanksgiving. It's celebrated differently, and on different days, but we do have it. Including decorations./end picking nit.

That's not meant to be critical, by the way. We don't do Political Correctness. Just sort of FYI, more or less.

[Gwill]

For the record: I'm European too.

[Metalkatt]

Finally, an excuse to use my natural "BAH!  HUMBUG!" to make fun of people, and posting means I won't have to judge. 

TSR:



"A tasty kitty.  Put under your tree and watch it grow."    Yanno, in my house, cats are not food... nor are they spray painted.  They're mobile space heaters.




"Candy Cane ~ the christmas clown to help your sims celebrate the winter festivities"  ... I don't think so.  I can do JUST fine cursing winter without the help of ugly-ass clowns.




"Recolor of Dgandy's "Lovers Suite" in a peppermint stripe just in time for Christmas."   Uh, yeah, because I always repaper/recarpet the room and change out the furniture for blocky weirdness for one damn month out of the year.  Right.




The obligatory Buntah entry.  Poor textures, improbable pieces, visible asscrack, and yeah, that looks REAL warm.  This is a woman who obviously does not know what 'winter' means.  (Or 'good taste,' for that matter.)




"Here's a fun candy cane lipstick for the holidays. Available in all ages and both sexes."  Because, yeah, like that's really going to stay, like we're really going to take the half-hour it takes to get it to look like that (for the ten seconds before it goes all mushy). and like a GUY is going to take all that time unless his three-year-old daughter is sloppily painting it on him.




Uh-huh... because candy really *does* float and hover...




Better yet--cubist candy, in all shades of WTF?




Oh, I've *always* wanted to sleep in a bowl of freakishly-large candy corn... not.

[Jadis]

Okay. Who wants a neighbourhood shaped like a Christmas tree?:



By fairywitch at MTS2. Link:http://www.modthesims2.com/showthread.php?t=211666

Probably the same people who will want this holiday dress for their toddler girls:




(The color is garish, and wtf is up with the back there? It almost looks like the girl's got a christmas tattoo)
It's by earth faerie at MTS2.

Link:http://www.modthesims2.com/showthread.php?t=210412

Who wants their christmas tree in completely unnatural colors?


By Lezibeth at MTS2. Link:http://www.modthesims2.com/showthread.php?t=101695

Who wants a house shaped like a Christmas tree?


By skooter, MTS2. Link:http://www.modthesims2.com/showthread.php?t=31426

And finally (I'm sensing a sort of theme here), a lake shaped like a Christmas tree, also from MTS2:



By Dewbyz. Link:http://www.modthesims2.com/showthread.php?t=107824

Edited to rehost pictures.

[Jadis]

I'm trying to figure out how to get images from TSR to show up, because there are some Christmas lipsticks there I'd like to share. I don't know if this'll work, though:



Yay! I can see it myself, at least. Hopefully (?) you can, too.
Creator: thenoble 1.

Link:http://www.thesimsresource.com/downloads/sims2/themes/christmas/longlist/page6in505items/

ETA: On the blue lipstick: a snowflake. On one of the green ones: a santa hat. Other green one: a star. One of the red ones: also a star. Other red one: "a cute little teddy bear." The last one on red lips isn't listed separately, but I believe it's supposed to be a golden Christmas tree decoration (no idea what they're called in English, but those globe-like things that hang from the branches).

[MadameUgly]

Great Ebenezer's ghosts. . .that "naughty santa" skank-derwear with the MAN SHOES is a real piece of work.

I was going to say it would be hard to beat but then the Buntah card was played.  Candy can ass crack?  Really?  Santa Baby. . .slip a candy cane into my cleft. . .anal cleft that is.

[dvn]

Happy holidays.  I think...

Stink: FeeEssen and her lovely Christmas lamp?


Yeah, it looks like it's melting a bit.

Stank: FeeEssen graces us again with very funny Halloween decor.


Looks like someone chopped his head and hung it up.  More of the horrors here: http://www.modthesims2.com/member/showthread.php?t=253185.

Stunk: TSR solfal and the Irish bar for St. Patty's Day


Apparently the barrels act as toasting glasses.  I wonder how well that animation works.

Anyways, have a very metal Christmas

[MsMaria]

Super job guys! I had NO IDEA there were such hideous items out there! That lady with the candy cane stuck in her butt? Gross. 

I think this might turn out to be one of our better contests. 

[Solestri]

Screw gifts and big dinners and family. My favorite part of the holiday season is the Christmas chamber pot.

[MsMaria]

Well, when a todd's gotta go...I'd be afraid they might think it is a cup of some sort. Bleh.

[Jadis]

start picking nit/Oh, by the way. We Europeans do have Thanksgiving. It's celebrated differently, and on different days, but we do have it. Including decorations./end picking nit.

That's not meant to be critical, by the way. We don't do Political Correctness. Just sort of FYI, more or less.

We do? Maybe some countries, but I don't think us Norwegians have anything like Thanksgiving. We have something that's kind of like Halloween, though, insofar as it involves kids in costumes going from door to door and asking for candy. Usually they'll also make an effort to sing a carol first. However, they are usually quite young and often go with their parents, and the costumes are usually cute, and not meant to be scary. No egging or anything, and it's for the days between Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. It's why some people here are annoyed at Halloween, because they either see it as a threat to this tradition (and an americanization), or as just another excuse for the kids to beg for candy, like one wasn't enough.

[RaeKira]

A lovely mesh (I can't tell which) by Hopebayler. I don't know what's up with that couch on the left.




Christmas ribbons by evi. The spotted one looks like someone took a green, corn-filled dump on the kid's hair. The texture of the hair is gross too.

[snowbawl]

Oh the wonder that is Spiffy Sims...



Christmas wrap for your sims!



This grandma would get run'dover by a reindeer fer shur

...I'm going to be very busy in this thread...there is soooo much crapola out there for holidays.  I feel sorry for the judges...

I almost think FeeEssen should be grounds for automatic disqualification...

[eevilcat]

I'm mesmerised by the trousers in that last outfit... green and red make for a horrific combination especially where tartan patterns are involved. Why oh why do creators seem to abandon all attempts at realistic shading/colours when using patterned cloth? It's not hard to burn in a shadow texture and tone down the saturation level.

[Jadis]

Looks like mom has been raiding the Christmas tree to make her own ear-rings:








From Parsimonious. By Katie. Link:http://www.parsimonious.org/fashion2/accessories/3.shtml (There are 6 more on that page, all very Christmas-y. I just think these are the ones that scream WTF the loudest). I hope you can all see the pictures.

[Invisigoth]

I'm sorry to nitpick, but some of you (I'm looking at you snowbawl) have neglected to rehost images from MTS2. MTS2 is a great free site and by direct linking the images you are using their bandwidth and costing them money, which is a VBT. These contests are a LOT of fun and it's great to make fun of the shit stuff, but we all know that there is good stuff on MTS2 as well. Doing this shit is part of what makes MTS2 run so freaking slowly. Please save the images into your photobucket or image hosting website of your choice and fix the links in your posts.

Of course, we should always direct link from paysites because obviously paysites must be destroyed.

[Venusy]

Who wants Santa Claus in Kuribo's Shoe? Apparently nine people (click the image):

[floopyboo]

FeeEssen is too easy a win, should be disqualified on the same grounds as Carla Niven.

On the upside, if FeeEssen is disqualified, then the grey cubes of muck floating in a bland bowl of nothing should be an easy win.

[neriana]

Looks like mom has been raiding the Christmas tree to make her own ear-rings:

From Parsimonious. By Katie. Link:http://www.parsimonious.org/fashion2/accessories/3.shtml (There are 6 more on that page, all very Christmas-y. I just think these are the ones that scream WTF the loudest). I hope you can all see the pictures.

Those aren't WTF at all. Women wear earrings like that at Christmas all the time. They're supposed to be silly and tacky, that's the whole point. Frankly, the one problem I can see with those earrings is that they are not nearly cheesy enough.